CrushedExpert has won 5,179 Achievements and 1 Challenge in 265 games
Registered on 01 Jan 14
| Last visited 05 Jan 15 | Last scanned yesterday at 12:01 by TA Scanner 3
18 achievements out of 59 won | 20,206 tracked gamers have this game | Last played 08 Oct 16
12 achievements out of 30 won | 11,148 tracked gamers have this game | Last played 08 Oct 16
9 achievements out of 63 won | 12,033 tracked gamers have this game | Last played 23 Sep 16
The details of my life are quite inconsequential... My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.
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