Deadcolts awesome game reviews #2.
New game reviews guys.
It's called Metel Heavy Gear Guns and Sons of the Patriotic People.
Basically I rocked out my PSOne when I was at a friends house cause he was playing some shit called Blood Drive or some shit.
So I started playing this game and after this long as cut scene of me swimming into this cargo hold or something I was all on the phone to some Colonel dude. I was like "NOPE, FUCK THIS.jpg" and just skipped everything. So I ripped out my gun and shot this bro in the face who had like a question mark on his head...Stupid hat.
But then BOOM "WARNING 99.99" was up on the screen. What the fuck? I'm not meant to kill people? Fuck this. So I was like karate chopping these guys in Balaclavas who must have just been there for skiing season.
Went up an elevator and bam, changed clothes. Then I seen this guy "GETTING INTO THIS HIND HERE" and then I rang some chick and some dude but I skipped everything. So I'm not sure if any of this was integral to the plot....PROBABLY NOT.
Started walking through the snow and seen my footprints...Huh, that's cool.
"Huh, who's footprints are these?"
Wow wow wow...WHAT? THE AI CAN SEE MY FOOTPRINTS? Fuck this, donut time, started running in circles and hid in a box. (Lol. Dunno why.)
Climb into a vent...Dunno why. Skipped that cutscene too. Didn't get a gun. Skipped that part too. Met a guy who was on the toilet. He died. Skipped that cutscene too. Seen some chicks ass...Didn't skip that cutscene!
Then I did some stupid stuff in vents and found dynamite and something. Then all of a sudden I fought a tank. How did I EVEN GET HERE!
Threw grenades at it. Had a smoke in the snow to chill out. Froze to death, ran on a mine. Died. LOL OK.
Went into some place with nukes "HEY SNAKE DON'T SURE WHILE YOU ARE THERE".
Hmm Ok sure thing lady. "LOL AND JUST IN CASE YOU TRY TO SHOOT I TURNED OFF THE SHOOT BUTTON, SO FUCK YOU".
Ok..I was like fine. Went to some place, did some stuff. Seen some more ass...The game made me check peoples asses...Ok, I'm cool with that.
Then I was fighting some dude called Psycho Mantis. Couldn't kill him. Loaded up a cheat disc. Put on infinite health and stealth. Killed the boss. Ran forward. Fought someone else. Game froze. Transported me to end cutscene. Beat the game. 70 mins play time.
Fuck you. Bad game. Skipped end cutscene. Don't know what happened. Something like "Metel Gear was a nuke launcher." Never seen Metal Gear. Apparently I'm gonna get old.
That ninja was cool though
Otocon pissed on me.
I give this No out of 1 Jeeps.
Posted by DEADCOLT PRIME
on 15 September 12 at 04:54
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