random quotes from the internet - losing hope
I ordered some burgers at a fast food joint.
When I said, "No lettuce," the cashier looked confused and asked, "No What?"
I literally had to say, "The green stuff" before she understood.
I left some music playing on my iPad when I left to do some shopping.
When I came back, I found it smashed into pieces.
Apparently, pa couldn't find any other way to "shut off that goddamn music".
I left my dog in the car while I quickly ran into a store.
I came out to a woman smashing at my window,
screaming that it was too hot in the car for the dog and saying I was being inhumane.
The car was still running and the air conditioning was on.
Customer: “I dropped my phone in the water, and I want to retrieve my pictures off of it. Can you do that?”
Employee: “Sure we can.” (waits to see phone.)
Employee: “Where is it?”
Customer: “At the bottom of the harbor; you can still get my pictures, right?”
Female doctor: “My daughter never drank from a bottle. We didn’t need them.”
Pregnant patient: “B…but then how did you feed her?!”
Female doctor starts to worry about the unborn.
Animal-Store Clerk: “Would you like to make a donation to [store charity]?”
Customer: “No, I hate all animals; this is for a friend.”
Animal-Store Clerk: “Would you like a plastic bag for that?”
Customer: “Yes, I hate the environment too.”
On an entirely different subject. Have you ever seen a picture with both a male AND a female midget?http://i.imgur.com/kHCsOT6.gif
Did you know:
- A compressed spring weighs more than a relaxed spring.
- A charged battery weighs more than a depleted battery.
Posted by Theo Boots
on 14 June 13 at 06:51
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