phatal1ty's Blog - Jul to Sep 12 (205 followers)

Blog

• Date range... Jul - Sep 12 Apr - Jun 12 Jan - Mar 12 Oct - Dec 11 Jul - Sep 11 Apr - Jun 11 Jan - Mar 11
• Blog RSS feed
• View full blog

A relaxing movie weekend... with a quick movie(ish) game to wash it all down



I've been dying to start Jurassic Park: The Game for a couple of weeks now but seeing as I was having a bit of a busy movie watching weekend with friends it seemed perfect as its based off a movie franchise (not that this game fits in the timeline or has any familiar characters)... Also I loved what Telltale did with The Walking Dead so I was excited to get a bigger dose of that game style.

To be honest The Walking Dead is still way better... way more polish and way more fun, but Jurassic Park met all my expectations and was a nice and easy and fun 1k... The QTE's (quick time events) are all pretty simplistic but the interaction pacing is a little off so between the long boring moments I admit to falling asleep... a few times... I feel bad for all those without an NTSC console as its a shame it wasn't a worldwide release not sure why Telltale have hate on all the gamers outside the USA.

I ended up playing out both endings and even though Jurassic Park doesn't have those heavy weighted emotionally charged choices that Walking Dead does the QTE's feel natural and added to the atmosphere of the game. Which is a pretty hard task to do in simple point and click games.
I would love to see more point and click games and it was pretty awesome to see that the Walking Dead did well enough to sign a second season

Other than Jurassic Park I also started Mush (WP)



I couldn't have CoolKidJoe calling me poor so I had to prove that I'm not scared to spend a few bucks on a SUPER adorable game... I am so in love with this game!! it reminds me a lot of LocoRoco my fav PSP game with a splash of whimsical from ilomilo and a sprinkle of cute from The UnderGarden I'm savoring this phone game!
Unfortunately my phone batteries are all spazzing out and without being on charge I can barley play phone games at the moment... I'm hanging out for a WP8 and super glad I didn't double down on a Titan II... I have three swappable batteries and normal phone use is fine, I can instant message, call and txt all day no problem but as soon as I get to the gaming it hemorrhages battery life

Over the weekend I watched John Carter

Its Disney, Its Sci Fi, Its Cowboys and Aliens and lots of things I like... but its so BAD..... with the exception of stunning visual effects the movie has NOTHING else going for it... it feels so rehashed and everyone does it better than John Carter. Even the title is bland. Its also about as emotionally deep and enthralling as Paris Hilton.

I also got to watch 21 Jump Street

Having never seen the original I thought it was entertaining even though I had to suspend more belief than I usually prefer. Not a movie I would have picked to watch as I don't typically go for these kinds of movies and I don't like Jonah Hill or Channing Tatum very much.... but they both did pretty well and I like them a whole lot more having seen this movie.

But TED! was the highlight movie of the weekend!!!

I laughed like a rhesus monkey though the whole movie! From the first line to the last it was so funny and way better than anything I'd hoped for!

Speaking of being monkey like hanging out with a group of eight of my friends this weekend everyone was curious to see my teeth and the zoom whitening and I felt like I spent a good portion of the evening with my lips furled back baring my teeth, I also learned its rather odd to see more than the top 8 teeth in a smile... it feels kind of strange and socially awkward especially in a public setting like a pub to be comparing dental work.... I'm sure onlookers to our busy table thought we escaped the looney bin.

I shall start with declaring my inability to decipher left and right



At some point when everyone else was learning the difference between left and right I was learning to speak a second language and got confused... and soon thereafter I was training in dance and performing arts and spending as much time as dancers do in front of the mirror hearing things like left hand higher and visually seeing a right hand twitch. I never untangled which is which and to this day I have trouble following and giving directions that include left and right.

I have very good spacial recognition and visualizing what I mean in my head... but when it leaves my mouth... it hit or miss... I'd say 80% miss... so its not even like I'm consistent enough for people to know what I mean... I'm not really dyslexic but numbers sometimes get a little jumbled up as I still do maths in my head using Chinese (the multiplication times table rhymes)

Why am I rambling about this? well... Last night determined to finish Self Defense once and for all I knuckled down and got to business... I was doing fine, perfect in fact till I got to the blocking where the guy will occasionally randomly shout LEFT HAND HIGH, RIGHT LEG LOW.... and I would instantly mess up.... but I didn't realize it was the vocal commands confusing me I had a disconnect as to why I was messing up so bad.
So it took me the better part of an hour to get though the last two levels of punch block.
At some point Nick complained about the *ting* *ting* *ting* sound that was echoing though my headset every time I got a move right so I muted the game... instantly I was better.

Additionally the kinect likes to think I have little tiny t-rex arms and it has trouble deciding if I'm holding my arms over my torso or my face.



To obtain



you need











As I rounded the home stretch to the last of the five stars expecting two achievements and only one popping I just about had an aneurysm... redoing the last of that level perfect then redoing all of the last levels for each reflex level perfect. The ranking bar would not budge already maxed out.

With the depressing thought of redoing the WHOLE game over I threw a wobbly and did the cardio series perfect SAME THING AGAIN! expecting two achievements and only getting one...

The only thing I can think of is this game HATES it when you unlock two achievements at once.... here's a video of my glitched progress



So going to bed rather angry I woke up really early and got right back on the horse with a new save file... knocked out the missing cardio achievement this morning and huffed angrily though the first 15 attack rehearsals and half the reflex module.

At this point I'm going crazy trying to entertain myself while playing this game...

Me: oh look this guy wants to give me a hug
Game: Kick his shin
Me: aww okay...
Game: Grab him by the back of the neck and pull his head down towards your knee
Me: but... hes kinda cute
Game: Put your foot behind his and push the opposite shoulder get your attacker off balance
Me: but he only wanted a HUG!
Game: Now punch him in the testicles with a closed fist
Me: really? not even an open hand... I can't even cop a feel? JEEEZ! LAME!

I hate all the fear-mongering this game promotes too "Try not to walk alone at night"... "Carry your purse under your arm and your hand on the strap"... "Use everyday objects such as keys or a stone in a ring, a trash can lid or magazine to aid protecting yourself from attackers"

And no where in the game did I learn how to protect myself when caught up in a cat fight... Punching HER in the testicles isn't really an option... Women are much dirtier fighters... do you know how deep nails can penetrate the skin?!

This game is a turd... I said it was a turd from day one... its a easy-ish turd... but its still A GIANT FUCKING GLTICHY TURD!
I want to put it in a blender and then set the little sad shards on fire with a creme brulee torch... then put the burnt remains in a mortar and pestle and grind it to a fine powder.

In PUG recap... I guess I technically passed for the week... but failed the bonus objective :(



Week three doesn't really have a theme yet but I plan for some Brunswick Bowling and some Jurassic Parking... the rest of my weekend I plan to go see

Somewhere in the world its still July 4th...



And that somewhere they care and made it SUPER PATRIOTIC day... go red white and blue (even though 31 Countries also use those three colours exclusively)

Anyway my gaming last night was made up of finishing off Mini Ninjas Adventures I quite enjoyed the game with the exception of the pointless grinding towards the end to level up completely. Much like the 800 more fish on Rapala for Kinect and the 800 miles on Jeremy McGrath's Offroad ... its the achievements that makes an otherwise decent game I would typically suggest people to try out leaving a terrible taste in my mouth.

Speaking of mouth I was going to insert pictures here of my Zoom Whitening but I don't want to gross anyone out so I won't... but that was my entire afternoon... I had my lips in a retractor and mouth packed full of gauze and gums painted with a protection wax and teeth with the patented bleach and had to sit still under an ultraviolet laser for three 20min sessions with a few minutes break between each session... all the while there was a screaming kid who sounded like she was in a torture chamber next door freaking out over a simple cleaning procedure and her mother wasn't making it any better... my dentist was apologizing profusely and I had my audio book as loud as my ipod would allow. But I was rolling my eyes and raising my eyebrows and the dental assistant was giggling at my reactions.
I didn't realize how long 20mins could feel like but I now know I'm a very fidgety person and that my brain is a light with chatter the moment I can't say anything... it wasn't until I left the clinic that the pain started to set in... my dentist and research had suggested that there might be some discomfort afterwards but the electrical storm in my mouth was insanely painful it wasn't until I went to bed that it was almost normal.
I have a pretty high pain tolerance and a dull ache is easy to deal with but the sharp quick electrical shock type is so much worse.
I know from experience last time I went for a whitening procedure to expect this but time tends to fade memories and I really thought it wasn't this bad last time.... but as usual I would do it again tomorrow if i felt the need.... Ahhh vanity.

I noticed a few days ago that this advert was featuring on my dashbaord.... excited the Mircosoft was really actually offering localized specials for New Zealanders!



but clicking though returns this incredibly boring budget crappy advert



if you cant read or see what it says its basically a "haha JUST KIDDING!, we don't think your special enough to have real deals on digital content... go see your crappy local retailers who charge you up the arse"

I noticed a trend of people "needing" to step away from the gaming / blogging thing... I don't know why there is an ebb a flow I've seen it before and I think its seasonal? or when people have reached a certain tolerance... who knows? All I can say is I've been here a while and I don't see myself changing that anytime soon... every now and again I think about scaling it back but then I remember how much I love it all... I've had to shift my thinking processes and remember I do this for me... and not for anyone else and I do it because it makes me happy. I know putting too much emphasis on gaining potential followers or commenters or lack there of can really mess with the mojo if you let it. I feel its important to create interesting or useful content there is no point to it otherwise... but again as long as its interesting to the creator that's all that matters, So I'm not going to pontificate why people do "game lists" or "gow 3 progress blogs" or a basic rehash of the friend feed... I don't personally get it but I'm not here to judge what content people put out or why they play what they play. I sometimes get this feeling of obligation to play to a certain level but I'm working really hard on shaking that bad habit and just playing what I enjoy and sharing with anyone who cares, Its easier to share the stuff your passionate about.... making it more interesting without straining which eventually takes a toll and wears down the enjoyment of it all.

The task to make a cute Ninja is not a easy one....



But Mini Ninjas Adventures does an AMAZING job of it! How can anyone resist the art style? All the characters are so adorable and the game play isn't half bad either!



I love love love love LOVE the retail version of the game which is a pretty easy 1k. The retail version doesn't really lend its game play mechanics to the Kinect being an stealth - platformer - adventure game.
The Arcade Kinect version is entirely different, something more like a realllllllly simplistic 3D fixed shooter where you are fixed moving left to right along a rail at the bottom of the screen. Enemies spawn either close, mid range or long range and you have the choice of three weapons to reach to match the distance...

I wasn't totally sold on the design choice of the weapons.... the close up attack utilizes a Katana (long sword), prob the most traditional for a Shinobi / Ninja. The mid range is covered by Shuriken or throwing star also traditional and makes sense.... then the long range... a Yumi (Long Bow).... I did not know Shinobi handled these... it felt more like Samurai territory but sure enough though my very quick research over the internet I learned these were in use... So I learned something from Mini Ninja! Totally educational! Too bad the plural for Ninja is still Ninja therefore the title is incorrect.

Baddies in the game are Samurai Warriors who are really animals under the evil warlords magic and by "killing" them you set them free and turn them back in to cute little forest wildlife. I like the Samurai vs Ninja as that feels more natural than Pirate vs Ninja....

In other gaming Funlabs also released another installment for the great price of FREE (only available on US accounts) a tie in with 5 gum. The brand is very much global so I'm not sure why there are region restrictions but regardless its a very quick 50gs for free.... It would have taken me under 1hr to do Kinect Fun Labs: 5 Micro Lab Challenge but the tracking for the memory puzzle portion is atrocious so after multiple restarts I had to slowly navigate around the edges and be meticulous. For a Funlab game is up there behind Junk Fu as a free, fun and quick completion.

The other day I found this new chocolate and as I'm seeing the dentist again later today and won't be allowed anything coloured or sweet for the rest of the week I scoffed the remaining bar last night.



The bar is supposed to be packed full of random stuff like poprocks and jelly beans and M&Ms but the packaging is REALLLLLLLY misleading...



Look at the artwork... look at the bar... so disappointing!!! The poprocks in the bar are nearly invisible and the jelly bean part is kinda gross chewy little cherry flavour bits and hard shell of the m&m is the only distinguishable part its chocolate on chocolate

Its almost like when this was one the shelf



and you rush home to try it.... and this is what you get



so.... show of hands comments should I post before and afters of my dental work tomorrow or is that too gross?

Of all the games I love... Kinect Dancing is way up there



Nothing is better than having an excuse to dance like a dork in the middle of the lounge.
I had a box of new games arrive yesterday from the ever fantastic Nick... he indulges and adds to my bad habit of unplayed games, and helps me justify the behavior by having some 300 games with no achievement unlocked on his card....

Excited doesn't even begin to describe what I felt when I saw the contents of this unassuming box



.... inside the box is a stacking connoisseur fantasy... out of 10 games 7 are stacks!



The last piece to my BioShock collection... the elusive Russian version... It is now complete.... Its not perfect as I have a mishmash of steel-book and platinum and Jewel Case... but that's all just cosmetic... ... not pictured below are the two Jamaican versions of the PC game :(



I now own all (10130gs) possible gamerscore in one of my favorite games of all time... I'm not set on getting though the multiplayer five freaking times but I have the option to should someone convince me.

My German collection almost doubled in size with these



Note for those unfamiliar with German games and new to stacking games.... the USK rating sticker... not always the fool proof way to decide if it gives you twice the achievements but its a very decent indication... your best bet is still to buy from a reputable seller who understands your needs.

But of course like a moth to a flame I had to play... Just Dance Greatest Hits ... It was a bit of a flop having only 15 tracked gamers a week after it hit the shelves and I can tell you now that it really ought not to exist... there are only 35 songs on the disk (most are terrible covers too!) and none of them are amazing or super fun to dance to, like all Just Dance games its shitous to look at... the brightly neon colours and inverted silhouette figures wearing one coloured glove makes me want to go play Dance Central for funsies. The local 4 player achievements can go suck an egg and trying to be clever and cute with its "dance styles" makes me want to dry hump barbed wire.
The only redeeming feature is the tracking is decent, the background design is clever, the menus are compatible with a standard controller and you get Uplay points... Not sure that I care about the latter... but any excuse to dance with the kinect makes me happy even if it is a turd.

I danced for about 5 hours with intermittent short breaks to cool down. It totally made up for my sedentary weekend and I do feel a very slight stiffness in my shoulders and lats this morning. I deserve a giant medium rare steak for dinner with a cheesy baked potato for my valiant effort but instead I will forage on something light so I can work on my PUG bonus objective tonight. Speaking of healthy food... my yogurt today would like to remind all you boys