Zombie Cow Studios Announce XBLA Game Privates

By zigs00, 6 years ago
If you're offended easily, maybe now is the time to stop reading.

Zombies Cow Studios - the developers behind the incredibly funny and unique PC adventure games Ben There, Dan That! and Time Gentlemen, Please! - have announced that their next game will be coming to the Xbox Live Arcade this summer, funded by the UK's Channel 4.

The game, Privates, is an incredibly sophisticated and mature twin-stick shooter. You play as condom-hating sperms. With levels set inside vaginas. And asses. It also definitely contains the word "merkin."

Zombie Cow perfectly encapsulate their style of humour and what to expect from the game with the press release quoted below:

BRITAIN. Land of Hope and Glory-holes. Where pregnant, waddling teenagers take up the full width of the pavement with their oversized triplet pushchairs, unaware that their rampant, perpetual humping has filled them to the brim with all manner of grotty infections.

Privates is a platform twin-stick shooter in which you lead a teeny-tiny gang of condom-hatted marines as they delve into peoples’ vaginas and bottoms and blast away at all manner of oozy, shouty monsters. It’s rude, funny, bitingly satirical and technically pretty accurate if you don’t count the tiny people or the germs with teeth.

“Privates is a totally crazy concept. It’s very exciting to finally be able to reveal what we’re up to,” said Dan Marshall, founder of Zombie Cow Studios. “We’re exploring some pretty unique gaming environments and themes… I can honestly say I can’t imagine you’ve ever played anything quite like it. These first five screenshots should give you a pretty good idea of what we’re up to, but there’s a hell of a lot more to come soon.”

“Channel 4 have been awesome in giving us a load of money and then keeping pretty quiet no matter how filthy and objectionable the content became. It’s gone really well.”

Privates boasts five whole levels of bug-busting action across a variety of gorgeous 3D locations, with a fully-voiced comedy script and a nutso soundtrack. You never know, you might even learn something handy about your downstairs-department.
I hope I'm not the only one childish enough to find this bizarre, ridiculous game concept completely hysterical.

Zombie Cow also released a couple of screenshots for the game, which are thankfully SFW. Here's a link attack for your eyes.
Screenshot #1:
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Screenshot #2:
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Screenshot #3:
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Screenshot #4:
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Screenshot #5:
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I'm pretty flabbergasted by this, but I definitely can't wait to see just how utterly ridiculous the game is when it lands this Summer. It seems all too rare these days to find games like this, while most other devs seem to be intent on making games as serious, mature and realistic as they can. A definite breath of fresh air.