I was having trouble having anyone even attack me for the longest time and this helped me. I was Age 6 before I started this, but the more early you start you may be better off as attackers will be less skilled and less upgraded.
As far as building your defense, thanatos8285 has some good points. A tip which I have found so far to be super helpful and I have not seen on any guide so far is to bait people into attacking you.
How you ask? Using taunts.
I made out a word that taunts people (such as "try me", "you stink", "eat me") using items from the honor tab such as flowers, scarecrows or torch's.
Be warned, if you do this you will probably be attacked more often, so you will want to do this when comfortable with your castles defense. Once you have it the way you want you can set this up, and make sure to have it somewhere easy to see for the people scanning. If you are lucky you might even get people who are not prepared and distracted by your message. Try to be considerate and use anything vulgar at your own risk, not sure if you could get banned for it.
I hope this helps! Any suggestions or comments feel free to just let me know.