Call of Duty: Black Ops III Reviews

  • CerlayjuxCerlayjuxThis gamer has had their achievements removed from the site
    01 Jul 2018
    21 29 13
    REVIEEEEW! Hey everyone Hunter the PROFESSIONAL game critic here, back to review the game with which the title of this game infers.

    This is easily the best part of the game here. When you are in the first mission and encounter a bug halfway through the level that forces you to restart; you know you are in for a hell of a time. The writing in this game is 100% flawless; there is a section in the first level where everyone is dying and getting killed, then out of nowhere one of the generic characters says "So are you still seeing Rachel"? It's good to see that despite being at war where people get brutally killed, these men are still thinking of the ladies back home.

    The shooting in BO3 is so amazing. I love shooting my gun at something then switching to a rocket to shoot that instead because whoever was working on boss types apparently spilled coffee on the keyboard and submitted that as a boss type.

    This game is 100% polish, not one time did I see a gamebreaking bug such as being stuck in an infinite loading screen, people being glitched inside of walls, everyone including the enemies doing the mannequin challenge(one of my personal favorites), the game crashing as you finish a zombies easter egg, or any other serious flaws like that.


    Anyone remember Destiny? Me neither; but what I do remember are the supers that Destiny had.

    CEO:Ok people we need to find a way to make new content with as many unorginal ideas as possible.
    John: Well, we could take an idea that Bungie had in a Destiny and just reuse a lot of the same supers from that game.
    CEO: Yeaaahh that could work! Since we are creatively bankrupt, lets steal from Destiny instead. Good work John!
    John: *Pisses himself with excitement because he was finally recognized*

    Map design is also stunning. See you can pick 1 of 3 lanes with connectors in between each lane. I love feeling like I'm driving a car when I'm actually playing a videogame.


    Do you like doing chores? Good because this gamemode is a chore in it of itself. Do you miss the old days in zombies where you could just survive without doing any of the extra bullshit? I know I sure don't. Who needs a fun simple game mode when we can have taskmanager the game?

    I also like the addition of gobblegums. See me being the casual piece of trash I am, I need all the help I can get to survive in Zombies. I can't be fucked with ammo management, or picking my 4 perks wisely fuck no. Who needs that when I can just get all perks in the map at will or have basically infinite ammo?

    This game is easily one of the best COD games ever. Better than MW2, Better than COD4, no this is a masterpiece to be cherished forever. And if anyone disagrees with me fear not, I will call you a troll in the comments because there is no possible way this game isn't perfect.
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    ToamikelThis review is incredible. Five stars.
    Posted by Toamikel on 02 Jul 18 at 03:49
    o Heres Jonny oBrilliant.
    Posted by o Heres Jonny o on 02 Jul 18 at 11:40
    Posted by xxDAMRONxx on 06 Jul 18 at 02:06
    Im kind of Highthis is art
    Posted by Im kind of High on 11 Jul 18 at 11:13
    MC PHILABUSTAI agree with this review 100% ... PS I hate this fucking game worst cod ever, can't wait black ops 3.5....ooops I mean 4.
    Posted by MC PHILABUSTA on 18 Jul 18 at 05:51
    daringDK2006An upvote from me to balance out the downvotes. Also.....why does this review have so many?
    Posted by daringDK2006 on 19 Jan at 17:57
    RaptureSirPrizeI like that game
    Posted by RaptureSirPrize on 31 Jan at 21:16
    RaptureSirPrizeI had fun with my friends on it
    Posted by RaptureSirPrize on 31 Jan at 21:18
    CerlayjuxThink I lost braincells reading that. In what way is BO3 better than any other Black Ops game? Before BO4 came out Bo3 was the worst in terms of Black Ops games period. Not to mention you said COD games in general, so completely forgetting about WAW, COD4, and MW2. I would argue that MW3 was even better than this garbage, and FYI MW3 wasn't very good. @RaptureSirPrize
    Posted by Cerlayjux on 01 Feb at 01:24
    colabungaThis is a baseless review that is as confusing as it is redundant. I’m not a professional, and by no means am trying to be ignorant, but this review needs work, since you’re a professional. The contradictions (that I assume are sarcasm, perhaps?) surrounding this piece shouldn’t be therein. I think instead of just shitting on the craft, bring up pros and cons to actually help folks come to a decision to purchase and play the game, and then let your biases come though near the end.
    Posted by colabunga on 04 May at 11:20