Duke Nukem Forever Reviews

  • TenloTenlo1,014,372
    13 Jun 2011 14 Jun 2011
    108 31 27
    It's not every day you have to review a game which has taken over 14 years to come out. The development of this game has been through four studios and five different game engines and has been a long running joke in the industry, but now it is finally here and there are only two questions on everyone's minds. Is it any good and is it the Duke Nukem game we've been waiting for?

    However before I answer these questions, I think it's worth taking a moment to put the game into the correct context. Most of you reading this will have heard of,if not played, Duke Nukem 3D. It's the game that took Duke Nukem from a 2D platformer of some renown to the huge success of a 3D shooter. DN3D was a balls out action shooter full of one-liners, toilet humour and scantily clad women. After the success of this 3D Realms wanted to follow it up with an even bigger game which would outshine DN3D in every way. And from there Duke Nukem Forever was created.

    All was not so simple, delay after delay occurred and people stopped believing it would ever see the light of day, then 3D Realms went bankrupt and it was all over. Thankfully all was not lost, 10 members of 3D Realms carried on and created Triptych Studios. Soon after Gearbox Software (which has quite a number of ex-3D Realms staff including its CEO) joined up with Triptych and now two years after that Duke Nukem Forever is out for release.

    Why is it important to remember this? It's because to all extents and purposes, the game that is out now is the game that was created way back in 1997. Randy Pitchford, (CEO of Gearbox and ex-3D Realm staff) has stated on several occasions that they have stayed as faithful to the original ideas as they can. In fact if you watch old trailers and game play footage you'll recognise several levels that have survived.

    So now the history lesson is over, down to the meat of it all, is it worth waiting 14 years for? That depends on what your expecting, if your expecting the game to completely blow your mind and be completely ground breaking, then the answer is no, and you should be ashamed of thinking that. Randy Pitchford himself stated this game wasn't going to break new ground but was the Duke Nukem game people have been waiting for. And if that's what you were expecting (which in all honestly you should have been) then you are going to be very happy as that is what Duke Nukem Forever is.

    The single player campaign is the real meat of this game and at around 20 hours worth of game play it's a sizeable portion. The story starts with Duke Nukem sitting in a seat of luxury enjoying the good life after saving the world 12 years ago. However the aliens are back now and its not long till Duke is back to what he does best, chewing gum and kicking ass!

    The game play is very similar in style to Half-Life (unsurprisingly as development began shortly after Half-Life 1 was released) with Duke working through areas solving puzzles and killing aliens to move on through the world. In fact the styling of the game is similar to Half-Life with you in control of Duke for pretty much the entirety of the game apart from a few moments and even then it remains in first person. This really brings a sense of immersion which adds a lot as you really feel you are the Duke.

    With a total of 24 chapters there are plenty of fine set pieces which are all straight from the 80's action films that inspired Duke. Ranging from driving monster trucks over canyons, blasting alien ships out the skies with turrets and even nods to more recent games such as Modern Warfare with helicopter shooting sections, these all give a nice break to the more traditional FPS moments and so you never really get too much of any one style.

    Even the FPS sections are interesting and varied though, whether your climbing through food shelves in your shrunken form or having a shoot out in the main street of a ghost town, it never feels boring and repetitive as there’s always something new and different in each section.

    It is also obvious that Duke has stayed to his old-school roots. The combat itself is hectic and tough. The enemies come at you hard and fast and even if you hide in cover they'll come chasing you down so its frantic in places. Some times its a little too touch, in particular one underwater section almost had me screaming at the TV, until I figured out the best way to handle the waves of enemies. But a this highlights, DNF isn't a simple shooter, you have to be tactical and using the right weapon on the right enemy is very important.

    The range of weapons will be instantly familiar to any Duke fan. All the classics have returned with a new addition of a Rail gun (which acts like a sniper rifle, handy in the much larger environments that exist in DNF) and will be instantly recognisable to all. So if you feared you wouldn't be able to shrink and stomp your enemies, don't worry you'll still be able to do so. In fact due to Duke's ability to carry only two different weapons at a time, you find yourself changing weapons depending on the situation regularly. But weapons are not the only things to remain unchanged.

    To aid you in your battles there are a number of pic- ups. Firstly you permanently have your Duke shades which can switch to night vision in dark areas allowing you to explore unlit areas with no fear. You also have access to steroids which pump you up into a fist throwing killing machine and beer which makes you tougher, though your vision gets blurred and you can't run any more. Finally the HoloDuke returns in an upgraded form. Now it actively engages the aliens and will run around, duck into cover and taunt them, while you remain invisible and cause carnage undetected.

    But there are also plenty of interactive objects in the world of Duke and while you can't often use them in battle they are worth searching out. Every time you interact with a special object for the first you get an EGO boost. EGO is Duke's health and while it does recover when not being shot at, the more you have the better. This leads you into trying out every object you come across whether its urinating, looking at porn, playing games or one of the dozens of other ways. To 3DRealms credit these aren't just simple button interactions, to get the EGO boost from some of these items will require a little (or a lot) of skill. For instance you'll come across Duke's weight room early on in the game in which you'll find a pinball machine. However it's not till you get a decent high score on the machine you'll receive your boost, but seeing as its a fully working pinball machine its like a full game in itself.

    Sound wise the game remains strong. Duke's one-liners are well written and although some lines are repeated it never distracts and becomes annoying. The voice acting itself is reasonable and while many characters are two dimensional, considering this game is not meant to be taken seriously it fits in nicely. I actually looked forward to coming across the EDF's Dylan and his wisecracks. There are also plenty of great lines parodying other games and meme's (I personally found references to Gears of War, WOW's Leeroy Jenkins and obviously Half-Life). The music is also good enough for me to actually want to turn up the music volume so I could hear it clearly over the rest of the game.

    However not everything has that amount of polish. The graphics are not the best you'll ever see. The human models are particular damning and look similar to some of the models you'd have seen on early 360 games. The environments themselves are detailed and full of objects to interact and break and each area is varied and distinctive in both its layout and style. As such you'll never feel like your running through the same area again with just different dressing. The enemies all resemble their original counterparts, but have had a graphical upgrade. In fact the Pig Cops are a great deal more grotesque than they were in DN3D. It's not the most beautiful game but it's from the ugliest. [Edit: Having now gone through the unlockable extras in the game, I've discovered that the game was actually finished two years ago but due to legal wrangles, it could not be released until now. That would probably be the main reason for the lower quality graphics]

    Another major flaw with the game is the loading times. They are just a little too long. It was particularly noticeable in the first half of the game, but by the second half I'd got used to it and it didn't jar as much as it had originally. However it is still too long compared to most games today.

    Duke Nukem Forever though has more to it than just the SP campaign. There are also a host of MP modes to choose from. Staying true to its roots you've got a choice of Deathmatch, Team Deathmatch, King of the Hill and Capture the Babe (Capture the flag) and these all play just as you'd expect. The only real addition is in Capture the Babe where the babe will struggle and place her hand over your view as you carry her, one quick button press and she's been spanked and will calm down. Considering this caused some controversy pre-release, as usual it was over nothing as you don't actually see any spanking at all.

    The MP is a blast though and stays true to its old-school roots. With little if any respawn time, you can just run in all guns blazing and know if all fails you'll be back on your feet in a few seconds. There is XP to earn too, but thankfully it has no major affect on the game play and just unlocks new customisations for your character as well as items for you to interact with at 'your Digs'. The Digs in question is Duke's mansion and while at the start you'll only have a French Maid in there, you'll soon start unlocking pictures, objects and more babes for your mansion as you level up in the MP. It's nothing much but it does encourage you to level up your character if just to see how silly you can make Duke look. Overall its a good blast of old-fashioned MP when it was all about fun rather than your kill/death ratio,

    Achievement wise thankfully they are all tied into the SP campaign. You've got the usual kill X with X weapon and one for each difficulty too (which stack). There's one for finding all the ego boosts in the game, which although daunting is good as to finish the hardest difficulty your going to need all the health you can get. There are a couple of other collectible ones, none of which are too much stress to discover though. The rest are split between story related and a few chapter specific achievements where you must accomplish a particular task. As a list it's pretty good and I managed 595 just on my first play through with little effort.

    So overall should you pick up Duke Nukem Forever? In all honesty, if you want a game which is a fun action packed shooter with funny one-liners and great set pieces while not taking itself too seriously, you won't find much better than Duke Nukem Forever. It has its flaws, but nothing game breaking and it wears its old-school colours with pride. After so many years development, it could have done with a little bit more polish but as it is, it's the game Duke Nukem fans have been waiting for. Hail to the King, the King is back!!
    Showing most recent comments. View all comments.
    BrumtownManglerWorst game of 2011.
    Posted by BrumtownMangler On 30 Dec 11 at 10:49
    Good and enjoyable review, thumbs up. It may seems nit-picky that I'm telling you in the fifth paragraph you used "honestly" where you should use "honesty" but that's just because it's the only part in the review I disagree on smile.

    I bought this game some two weeks ago and started it yesterday. It was only € 1 and I thought it couldn't possibly NOT be worth that price. I have to say, best € 1 I ever spent. Decent game, nothing groundbreaking but it doesn't try to be either. Just clean old-fashioned fun.
    Posted on 26 Aug 13 at 07:23
    Col Double DFNL 4EVA

    Well a lot of us don't have boobs so we need this game!
    Posted by Col Double D On 02 Mar 14 at 00:26
  • EweStickyCowEweStickyCow347,173
    11 Jun 2011
    76 59 57
    To begin with I just want to mention that I never played any of the previous Duke Nukem games, and had no real expectations for the game prior to trailers and playing the demo. Also this is my first ever review so hopefully you enjoy it :)


    This game focuses soley on giving you a kickass testosterone pumping blood bathed orgy of satisfaction. Using witty one liners and all of the tits, explosions, pissing, drinking, swearing, drug taking, and alien blood you could imagine. With such a reputation behind it already, and fine examples of fun fps on the market left right and centre to build on from, how could it possibly fail? Well apparantly 2K and Gearbox found a way...

    As you'd expect, the game begins in good humour, managing to make me laugh right from the first section of gameplay. But after a rather simple and linear introduction, I was already having second thoughts about the game that just put me down $120 (NZ) dollars. The laughs become less frequent and spread more far apart as the game progressed, even going as far to repeat the same jokes on more than one occasion. In game dialogue became dull and repetitive after Duke delivered the same one liner for the hundredth time, until finally the games humour just seemed imature and boring.

    The combat system and arsenal of kick-assedness that the game promised, delivered nothing more than a series of regurgitated weapons that i had already used to death in previous game beforehand. The weapons had no ooomph or effect to them, while the combat system was disorienting at the worst of times, making it difficult to tell the difference between who's shooting you and who you should be nuking. Thankfully the Rail Driver gun was occasionally offered so that you could actually feel like you were causing damage instead of shooting peas at the alien horde. Duke's ego acts as his shield throughout the game, which I find to be the funniest part of the whole game really.

    The AI system is absolutely dreadful. With humans rushing to melee aliens whom would simply pop 'em with a shotgun, and dull non reactive boss fights which revolve around you standing behind a rock while they shoot at the same spot, before you pop around the corner and fire your maximum of FIVE freaking rockets at him before you have to go and find another damn ammo box. I say the AI is unreactive to you as it seems that your bullets aren't affecting them at all, they just keep walking and shooting. Enemies whom rely on getting close to you will always take the shortest route instead of the smartest, which often results in them glitching or freezing on a piece of cover and waiting for you to move. Not exactly a thrill ride. Even the enemy dropships are insanely boring and repetitive, earning a response of 'not this s*%$ again' over the whole 'I AM MAN' that I felt I should be feeling.
    One enemy catchesyour pipebombs and rockets and throws them back at you.. That's the smartest thing any of the enemies do.. Seriously..

    They are absolutely nothing special, with terrible looking humans and details that the engine sometimes take a long time to render. The outside areas tend to have a painfully slow framerate, and duke's movement when walking is rather jerky. I supposed this was their way of making it feel like he's taking one step at a time, but in the end it just makes movement feel slow and rough. Character models are noticably reused. A fine example of this is a scene on a highway where I counted two different car models, and a single truck model.

    I felt nothing from tracks in this game. Often it's just distorted guitars playing power chords while you shoot aliens. There is no emotion or real variance in it at all. I can't actually think of anything good about it. It didn't even make me feel manly. MAN LIKE EMOTION.

    Seriously, I have not even finished the game yet. I don't want to. I'm sick and tired of it and am currently building up the willpower to pick the controller back up again. You will have to complete the game atleast two times as the hardest difficulty must be unlocked by completion. The achievement hunter in me will complete this game twice, but the man died many chapters ago...
    The campaign is reasonably long, racking up at about 15-20 hours or so over 24 different chapters. Or maybe it just feels that long because I'm doing the same stuff over and over again.. Hmmm..

    I'm happy to say, this game has done something right. 100% Single Player achievements. You have your simple game progression/completion achievements for each difficulty, a collectable achievement that also helps build your ego up, multiple kill count achievements, and then a hell of a lot of minigame achievements. These minigame achievements are what brought my achievement score down for this game. They range from winning a extremely annoying game of air hockey in which the puck occasionally passes through your bloody arms when you go to hit it, to having to score a million points on a pinball machine.

    Overall I give this game 5/10 for being nothing more than average on every level. Purchase at your own peril! .I wouldn't do more than hire this game just long enough to get your achievements and then sit in a corner in shame while you repress the memory.
    17 Jun 2011
    22 7 1
    Duke Nukem Forever Single-Player (XBOX 360) Review

    Duke Nukem Forever—a game that, for many years, had been a videogame industry joke for constantly promising its release, but never actually coming out… for 15 years. First revealed in 1997, DNF was a highly anticipated title after Duke’s last, widely successful appearance in Duke Nukem 3D in 1996. Over the course of the 14 years from its announcement to its eventual release, 3D Realms (the studio that created the Duke Nukem franchise) teased gamers with a slow (very, very slow) stream of information such as news regarding the engine DNF was going to run in, screenshots, and trailers. Engine changes, publisher changes, property rights purchases, additional developers, and 15 painful years of promises and delays are the ingredients to one of the most talked about videogames in the history of the industry; is that a formula for a masterpiece… or is Duke Nukem Forever a relic?

    First off, it’d be impossible for any game to be worth 15 years of hype and waiting… but, let’s face it, were you really waking up every morning for 15 years thinking “Today’s going to be the day!” and just dying… dying to play some Duke Nukem Forever? Probably not. I know I wasn’t. Sure, there was a curious interest whenever something new info came out, but 3D Realm’s “When it’s done” release date never meant anything to me beyond “We’re kinda working on this, but not really… like, we have assets and stuff, but there’s actually no game here.” DNF has changed so much over the course of its development that the game we got is not the game we were going to/could have got and, after 15 years, it’s hard to expect what we did get to be anything more than a jumbled mess—which it is—but it’s a fun jumbled mess.

    I’ll admit, I’ve never played the old 2D Duke Nukem games that got the franchise its start; the only real Duke Nukem game I’ve spent any amount of time with was Duke Nukem 3D… but I think that was all I needed, really. I loved DN3D; it was a game that never took itself seriously and poked fun at the action movie heroes of the 1990’s and the shooters of that time. Duke was a cigar-chomping, one-liner spouting, womanizing man-child with an ego and a gun… and he was fun to play as. The big difference between Duke Nukem 3D and games like Doom was (aside from the ability to look up… and jump) the character. Sure, it did a lot of things that other shooters didn’t do gameplay-wise, but Duke was just much more fun to play as than a voiceless space marine wandering dark hallways in a game that took itself seriously.

    Fifteen years down the road and Duke is still Duke. Jon St. John reprises his role as the 90’s videogame icon and makes the cheesy lines he reads even more so; you can’t help but giggle a little bit with his constant spouting of perverted, demeaning, and self-elevating one-liners. He’s wildly offensive and has no respect for anybody but himself; so, if you’re the easily offended type, this game already isn’t for you. Duke is still the steroid-enhanced man-child with a gun you remember from the 90’s (provided you played his previous games) and he’s still just as fun to play as now because you know you have that same adrenaline-loving immaturity in you somewhere.

    Gameplay in Duke Nukem Forever is… well, it’s a shooter. You shoot stuff. Prior to writing my review, I did read other publications’ reviews and noticed a common theme with them: claims that DNF’s gameplay is dated. I’m not usually a proponent of comparing videogames for the sake of a review, but I think this is an important issue that needs addressing. Shooters all share a common theme—shooting. The primary elements in gameplay are move forward, shoot enemies until dead, progress to the next area, repeat. Sometimes, they’ll switch it up a bit with a turret minigame, vehicle sections, or various other distractions to add a little variety. Nowadays, shooters seem to be considered more “innovative” the more “cinematic” they become—adding slow-mo segments or scripted events you have no control over are the new norms… as are 3-5 hour campaigns (DNF’s single-player campaign is about a 10 hour experience, btw). I’m not saying this to discredit the acclaim of other shooters recently released, but I think it’s important to realize that true innovation in the shooter genre is not really common, but various media outlets throw the word around giving high praise to the next big thing.

    Duke Nukem Forever is not an innovative game—it’s an old school shooter with some new tricks… but mostly old ones. Level progression is pretty straightforward, limiting itself to a “go here, kill this, move forward” type formula. Variety in levels comes in the way of turret segments that have you shooting down dropships and waves of enemies to break up the on-foot sections with a healthy dose of vehicle driving thrown in for good measure. It’s the standard shooter gameplay variety—a formula that works and has worked for quite some time—that does little to “wow” you, but it’s all fun. There’s one sequence in the game that involves a jetpacking enemy (if you’ve seen some of the trailers for DNF, you’ve likely seen a portion of this sequence) that I thought was really cool… it was one of those “cinematic” scripted events that’s all the rave in shooters nowadays.

    On-foot, Duke is a one man army as he picks up just about every weapon he can get his hands on and shoots everything that moves. There’s nothing to complain about with the shooting mechanics as everything feels solid and tight. If you’re packing heat and pull the trigger, whatever is standing on the other end of the barrel is going down. For me, what defines a shooter (if not the characters and story) is the weapons, and DNF does the weapons right. Nearly every weapon has a powerful feel to it (I say nearly because the pistol is pretty garbage… I know this well because I went through the campaign with the pistol as my constant secondary weapon for that darned achievement); shotguns blast with a close-ranged ferocity that rips to shreds pretty much everything in its way, the ripper is a triple-barreled bullet hose that makes quick work of foes, and so forth. DNF has a lot of things that go “boom” and it’s fun making that happen.

    The driving segments in Duke Nukem Forever are easily some of my favorite parts of the game—especially when you get to play around with “The Mighty Foot,” Duke’s monster truck. Driving around the environments, turbo-boosting, and smashing into things is fun distilled to its purest form. The downside is it becomes formulaic after a while as this driving section is divided into driving for a while, running out of gas, going on a gas-finding quest, returning to your vehicle with gas, repeat. As repetitive as it sounds in writing (and it is repetitive), the driving and the shooting are both fun, so there’s little to complain about here. If you like causing destruction for the sake of enjoyment, you’ll no doubt get a kick out of DNF.

    DNF’s plot is paper-thin and is pretty much only there to give you vague reasons to be in a certain places blowing crap up. It’s not going to win any awards and it’s about as bad as they come but, in a game that doesn’t take itself seriously at all, it’s an intentionally bad story and lays the cheese on heavy. I’m a big movie buff, so I watch just about anything… including copious amounts of those “so bad they’re good” B-movies, so I have an appreciation for cheese. I’m not going to try to defend DNF’s story or writing in any way (because the story and writing are bad), but I, personally, enjoyed it immensely because of my oddball tastes and appreciation for campy action flicks and bad one-liners. It’s a kind of dumb fun that you have to either be expecting or have some kind of appreciation for in order to not be incredibly underwhelmed. So, for clarification, Duke Nukem Forever’s story and writing are bad… but a good bad that I appreciate and you might not.

    The downsides of this game are primarily the outdated visuals and unbearably long load times. DNF is built using a heavily-modified version of Unreal Engine 2.5… a last-gen graphics engine. I played the XBOX 360 version of DNF, so I’m not sure how it compares with the PC or PS3 versions, but I can’t imagine there’s too much of a difference on the console front… PC might be a different story. The fact that this game looks as good as it does is quite amazing, but it’s no visual marvel. DNF suffers from horrendous texture pop-in (meaning that the textures aren’t fully loaded when you actually start playing) and when the textures do actually decide to show up, they’re about as low-rez as they come. On top of this, the game takes forever to load—I timed one load screen just out of curiosity, and it took 46 seconds to load… you also have to endure this loading every time you die. With most chapters being broken up into bite-sized parts and the visuals being mostly unimpressive, I find it unbelievable and unacceptable that it takes so long to stop pissing around and get back into action.

    It’s pretty apparent that this game was pretty much just thrown together. Sure, the mechanics work and it’s a blast to play, but there’s little structure to anything. Playing DNF, it feels like Gearbox just got a bunch of assets from 3D Realms after acquiring the rights to the Duke Nukem brand and had Triptych Games just throw them in a blender, add a story of some kind, and call it a day. Duke Nukem Forever is a mess. It was finally made possible by the fine folks at Gearbox and is held together by the dreams of the gamers of yesteryear; it has little new to offer to the genre… except fun. DNF is not high art, but it never strives to be; it’s just a damn good time and that’s all it really wants. Flaws and all, I haven’t had so much fun giggling with child-like glee as I rampaged through an alien-infested Vegas. Yes, I still laugh at poop jokes… and darn right I smacked every wall boob I came across.

    Duke Nukem Forever is a game that I think exists only because of the fans—we’ve held on to hope for the past 15 years that The King would return, and he finally did. Sure, it’s not the greatest game in the history of the industry, but even back in ’97 it wasn’t trying to be. I feel like had this game released at a different time, we’d hold it in higher regards and look back with rose-tinted glasses in the same way we do with Duke Nukem 3D, but I don’t doubt that the fans of the character and his past exploits will eat this up with the same enthusiasm as I did. I can’t wholly recommend this game as a purchase to anybody besides classic Duke fans; but if you have an appreciation for the old school or just want to blow crap up, it wouldn’t hurt to give this piece of gaming history a rent to see what all the fuss is about.
  • FittedCabFittedCab307,818
    11 Aug 2011 11 Aug 2011
    16 6 2
    Almost 14 years after it was announced it's finally here: Duke Nukem Forever.
    Was it worth the wait or will the fans be in for an dissappointment?

    3D Realms had ambition for this game. It was meant to be the greatest game ever created but we all know that there's not a game in the world that could take that title. For DNF it meant it had to have everything and more and it had to be made awesome. In the quest for perfection alot of producers gave up and moved on but 3D Realms tried to create the perfect game until the bitter end. Thanks to Gearbox and Randy Pitchford this game is a reality. So is the game any good? Find out right here!

    This review is spoiler free so read at ease. Game starts well but it's all down from there. Duke's characer is great and the voice acting is good with the one liners wich you'll get tired of about halfway through the campaing. There's 22 chapters so it's not a short trip around Vegas. Story itself is actually okay for a shooter but the story isn't the problem here.

    After awhile of playing you'll notice how the shooting is pretty plain and there's no balls in it. You feel like the enemies can take more damage than Duke and you will die alot. Then you'll notice that it takes forever to load last checkpoint. Maybe the game got it's name from that.

    So the gameplay is broken shooting isn't satisfying. The exploration and puzzle solving is more fun than the rest of the game. Playing as shrunken Duke is actually fun and I for one would've wanted more of those kinda levels.
    Driving sections are fun aswell and they give nice change to all the shooting going on.
    Boss fights all have a certain stragedy behind them but in a good way it's a throwback to old school gaming.
    Minigames are present and they vary from good to meh. Pinball is fun and so is airhockey wich they could've even made online mode IMO.

    Strippers and topless women are present just like they were in 3D. There's alot sex related jokes of course.

    DNF isn't very hard but there's a couple of peaks where you're controller is in danger to meet the wall. But look at the guides here in TA and you'll be fine.
    There's two enemy types that just hated in this game: berserk pig cops and octabrains. I played the game through 3 times and evertime I got killed by these guys. Very annoying so be aware those melee attacks are crazy!
    I don't even want to get in to the underwater level. All I can say is OMG and it's not in a good way trust me.

    Multiplayer is also a throwback some will like it some hate it. There's a good variation of maps and it gets pretty hectic. Capture the babe was my favourite.
    Thank God there's no MP-related achievements.

    Craphics are ok to me sure there old but it delivers. Nothing looks really ugly but don't be expecting any whoa moments. So here's the pros and cons:

    +Shrunken levels
    +Mighty foot chapter
    +Strip club chapter
    +Duke's voiceacting

    -Playing with shit
    -Gameplay is just off
    -some enemies have crazy attacks (Berserk pig cops)
  • Minias666Minias666415,927
    04 Dec 2012
    8 0 0
    When I found out that Duke was finally going to be coming back after such a long absence, my first thought was "It's about damn time." My second thought was "I hope it'll actually be worth the wait." My third thought, which came about after I found out that it was being finished and released by Gearbox, was "They did a fantastic job with Borderlands, this should be good."

    All of the previews had me excited, making me think that classic Duke would be back in action. Then there were the setbacks. The game was postponed not once but twice.

    Even with the setbacks, I looked forward to popping the disc into my console and controlling the man himself once again. There were some things they shouldn't have changed, though. I greatly preferred the old health and armor system over the new Ego Meter. The two-weapon rule was completely un-duke-like. Even the ammo seemed to have more limitations.

    I was amused at the ability to use Duke's fists as weapons, and I laughed at some of the things you had to do to boost the Ego Meter. His jumps once again take no effort, as you can see when jumping while looking in a mirror. Granted, Duke follows the stereotypical "White men can't jump" rule.

    Controls were at least decent, with targeting not much of an issue. Each gun was insanely accurate, and even the shotgun achieved an effectiveness range that only the Duke could muster. Visually, it was nice to see a better rendering of his environment and enemies. I know that Gearbox didn't really change much graphically from the already two to three year old game they acquired. All they really did was update it enough to make it compatible with the Xbox 360 and PS3.

    At times the frame-rate had a few hiccups, and things got a little glitchy. The online multiplayer was especially horrible. I tried one match, and one was enough. The image on screen was so jumpy that I couldn't tell if I was shooting at someone on my team, the enemy team, or a piece of rubble.

    The main story gameplay got very repetitive, even Duke's one-liners were a lot cheesier than he used to be.

    All in all, I'm glad Gearbox managed to bring Duke out before his absence reached puberty years. I would've been happy with a longer delay, however, if it meant the frame rates were smoothed out and the graphics completely updated. I also would've like the ability to do offline deathmatches. I miss throwing a pipebomb through a teleporter and blowing up my brother on the other side of the map.
  • TianaMaria17TianaMaria17106,914
    22 Jun 2011
    14 6 0
    As far as FPS games go, there is nothing absolutely groundbreaking here in DNF. It is a straight forward run and gun shooter that is a clear throwback to the FPS shooters of yesteryear.

    There are a lot of cool deviations from your standard point A to point B shooter. It contains Half Life 2esque puzzles that are certainly not challenging but offer a good change of pace to the overall experience. You do a fair bit of vehicle driving and some rail turret sequences as well, again to simply change the pace. Of course one could argue that everything in DNF has been before, and you are correct. But these gaming elements were done so long ago they have become fresh again. Similar to clothing coming back in style DNF offers a familiar experience with a fresh setting.

    The game uses the Unreal 2.5 engine and as such is a bit dated. However, that said the graphics are still more than passable with cool looking villians that are updated versions from DN3D. Nice looking environments that are also destructible and some slick looking textures as well. Duke himself is still looking bad ass.

    There are some frame rate and rendering issues that will occur from time to time but it is nothing that completly takes away from the game or would throw you off.

    DNF offers all of the classic weapons from DN3D but this time you are limited to carrying only two weapons at a time (which is now the norm in a lot of FPS games) I would have preferred being able to hold as many weapons as you can as it would have stayed more true to the classic DN3D.

    The storyline is nill, very lacklustre but again that is the point. Back in the old days of gaming there was no deep story, just kill all the bad guys and blow the place up. The same ideolagy holds true here as well go in and kill all the bad guys.

    The games plays about 12-15 hours and then there is a great deal of replay value as you will get some cool unlockables and get access to the insane difficulty that you will need to play for the achievement.

    The online MP is decent and simple. You unlock awards and gain XP but thankfully there are no MP achievements (which is a huge selling point to me as you never know if a game will bomb on the online MP)

    Overall this is a really fun game, very over the top and crude. If you like the movie Machete, you will get a kick out of DNF. On the other hand if you are a prude or you prefer a more tactical experience then you may want to pass onthis game.

    I rate this game a 7 out of 10
  • SlackerchanSlackerchan285,882
    15 Jun 2011
    24 24 2
    Fifteen years ago, back during an age in which consoles were just beginning to discover the possibilities of compact discs and PC gaming was most commonly done on a DOS or Windows 3.1 platform, a game came along that stood out amongst the various Doom clones that plagued the mid 90s. Duke Nukem 3D was more than just another shooter: it was a game whose action, humor, and gameplay advances made it stand far apart from the other titles on the market. So, naturally, when a sequel was announced for the game it was natural to expect a next-level experience.

    Unfortunately, Duke Nukem Forever became the running joke in the gaming industry for over a decade with the most lengthy development timeline of all time. After multiple engine switches, complete redesigns, and years of development controversy finally, a decade and a half after it was conceptualized, the next adventure of the legendary alien ass kicker as on our doorsteps. With so much time gone by though can the King’s old school gameplay aesthetics match up to the Call of Duties and Halos of modern gaming?

    Fashionably Late
    Twelve years ago (much like the game’s actual timeline), Duke Nukem saved the world from an alien invasion, saving both our planet and our chicks in the process. Regarded as a world hero from then on, Duke has passed the time as a successful entrepreneur, opening up a large casino in Las Vegas, a fast-food chain, and living off his celebrity status ever since. After finally getting his hands on the game based on his exploits from twelve years ago though he learns that the aliens have returned and, despite the President’s intentions to negotiate, the invaders make their first target the very man who defeated them previously.

    If that amazing plot description intrigues the story critic within you then allow me to be clear: in the realm of great story telling, Duke Nukem Forever lives in an entire state away. Despite having the development time of five or six triple-A titles, 3D Realm’s swansong weaves a tale that would be an insult to even B-movie critics. There is virtually nothing memorable about the game’s overall story as even this writer, just hours after finishing the game, could not find a truly memorable sequence. All the player needs to know is this: there are aliens in your way and you need to kill every last one of them.

    The appealing factor of Duke Nukem Forever shouldn’t be its story so much as its titular character. After all, who wouldn’t want to play as the most sexist, crude, and awesome killing machine on the planet? Duke’s character hasn’t changed in the decade and a half he’s existed and this is unfortunately where the game seems to be quite confused with itself.

    The problem with Duke lies in the fact that he is simply a character that is stuck in 1998. Back in the mid-90s the actors he was based on like Jean Claude Van Damme and Bruce Campbell were still at the height of their popularity and as such Duke was prime satirical material that both appealed to those wishing to play as a self-imposed awesome character and for those who wanted nothing more to live the life of a B-movie character. With the decline of the actors he was based on and the rise of modern action stars like Daniel Craig and Matt Damon Duke is a character whose only real audience are those who remember the 90s action scene fondly. The point of Duke’s character back then was to make fun of the entire action and B-movie genre but today he’s alone with little to no modern basis for which to be as entertaining as he was in 1996. There is no depth to Duke Nukem: he’s just one big ego whose sole goals are to get laid and kill more aliens. Today’s modern gaming scene demands a character more complex than that and for Duke to receive a visual update and not a character one is a failure.

    That isn’t to say that Duke Nukem Forever isn’t an entertaining character at times. Despite his temporal displacement Duke is still able to get in a good one-liner or two with references to Robocop, Halo, and even Inception. Players can exploit Duke’s manly personality to hilarious results and you’ll definitely be entertained when being shrunk. Aside from this however Duke remains the stupid, macho idiot he’s always been and if you can get past the fact that he’s long since overdue for retirement then you’ll certainly have fun with him.

    Somebody Get This Man Some Gum!
    If there’s one thing that can be said about the transition from Duke Nukem 3D to Forever it is that the gameplay is quite different. No more keychard hunting, no more wide levels to explore, and certainly very little in the way of secrets and surprises to be had. The Forever experience is unfortunately a watered-down corridor crawler with a handful of open environments and almost no exploration to be had. If you are okay with this then I have to ask: why? With so much time in development hell one would have assumed that Duke’s level design would allow for large environments to explore but when you actually get to these levels there simply isn’t anything to be found.

    The only really worthwhile levels to check out are the ones in which Duke is shrunk down to action figure size and must do his best to find an expansion pad to get back to normal size. One of these stages in particular had you doing some first person platforming around the flooded kitchen of a Duke Burger attempting to reach a circuit breaker to help a trapped employee who is in danger of being electrocuted. As you make your way across shelves, tables, and hot grills with burgers in the process of being cooked several shrunk aliens will attack you and you must fight while taking cover behind bottles of pickles and mayonnaise. The result is a bit fun but the shrinking levels seem overdone as a whole. By the time I was shrunk for a third time I was growing heavily frustrated that the mechanic was being used again.

    Combat in Duke’s latest outing, as far as the console version goes, is a tossup between decent and terrible depending on where you are in the game. For the most part the fights you experience are decently challenging on harder difficulty settings but the AI pendulum at times swings heavily in their favor. The main problem to be had is the game’s aim assist, or lack thereof. Aiming at enemies more than ten meters away is a dodgy exercise at best unless you have the game’s sniper rifle and the lack of even minimal target tracking can lead to a painful experience.

    Like all other shooters these days the game utilizes a health regeneration system ala Call of Duty except this time they call it Ego (and what an appropriate term it is). This unfortunately turns the game into a cover-based shooter which is in direct confliction to the nature of Duke’s character. Players can increase the size of their Ego bar by interacting with certain objects in the environment but it still doesn’t make up for the fact that Duke Nukem is not a hide-and-shoot character.

    The largest problem in Duke Nukem Forever isn’t the combat so much as the lack of fresh material present. There are no new weapons or enemies to be had: they are all virtually the same as they were in Duke Nukem 3D with minimal AI improvements. Boss battles in the game are throwaway levels and you can easily tell when one is coming upon inspection of your new environment. One particular boss battle against the Octoking is one of the most frustrating combat experiences I’ve had in years and until you nail down the strategy necessary to defeat it. Boss battles shouldn’t be painful guys: they should be challenging but not overly irritating. I don’t think 3D Realms got that message however.

    Duke Nukem Forever does feature a multiplayer suite but, like many aspects of the game’s design, it is an uninspiring offering at best. The usual assortment of deathmatch options are accompanied by one other mode: Capture the Babe. Between the three modes however nothing is truly memorable. Players can build their own mansions in the My Digs section as tributes to your accomplishments in the multiplayer but you should expect to return to your favorite shooter within days instead of weeks.

    Subtlety Is Not His Trademark
    Twelve years, four engines, and over two hundred developers later Duke’s newest title should logically be one of the best looking games on the market. It shouldn’t surprise you that it isn’t however. Character models look outdated and NPCs in particular are both lackluster in appearance and animation. Had Duke Nukem Forever been released in 2006 or 2007 it probably would have been one of the best looking games on the market but against today’s offerings of Crysis 2, Call of Duty, and Dead Space 2, the results are just disappointing.

    One thing that the various development teams got right is the level of interactivity present in the game. Few shooters focus on more than just the combat and Duke Nukem Forever shines in this department as there is an assortment of activities to do between stints of fighting such as drawing on dry erase boards, pinball machines, pool tables, and even an air hockey game. The sad thing is that none of these activities in particular are well done and the pinball game’s physics are some of the worst I’ve seen in a long time. Still, the effort is definitely there so the game gets points for that.

    Wherein the interactivity is one of the few highlights of the game the single most deplorable aspect of the game’s design is the loading times present. Designed like an old school shooter, levels are divided by loading screens and do not blend into one another well, if at all. The loading times are simply some of the most abysmal to be had this generation, taking upwards of a full minute to load completely. It seems that the game has to reload the entire level instead of just the section in which your checkpoint is at so, coupling this with a difficult section of the game, you are looking at an excessively frustrating experience at times. Installing the game to your hard drive does little to abate this problem so it is best to go into the game with as much patience as possible.

    Time for the King to Step Down
    Duke Nukem Forever is many things to gamers. It is a title of solace in an age of serious, hardcore shooters. It is a game in which many have devoted large portions of the lives to completing. It is proof that, even in the darkest, most heartless pit of development hell there is still light at the end of the tunnel.

    What it is not is a good game.

    The game’s singleplayer experience, which should be very entertaining, turns out fruitless and many pieces of its design and the multiplayer is simply a momentary try for most with little incentive for continued play. It seems that the only truly worthwhile fruit to bear is that the rights and ownership of the brand belongs to Gearbox Software now and, if they studio can devote even a marginal amount of effort in comparison to most of the titles they’ve produced over the years then Duke’s future may well be a bright one. For now though you should stick to Duke Nukem 3D for your womanizing, ass-kicking needs.
  • ryanlegend95ryanlegend95198,834
    28 Oct 2012 28 Oct 2012
    5 6 4
    The 15 year wait is over folks. Here's Duke Nukem!

    Duke Nukem 3D was good but what about this? Is this game any good? Well it's not as bad as most professional reviewers gave it but nor is it brilliant. It's about average I would say. Sure this game doesn't have good graphics but hey graphics doesn't make a game good in fact Deadly Premonition had really bad graphics and yet it was surprisingly good so this might also surprise you.

    External image

    I'm back baby.

    After a 15 year break Duke is still the same. He still worships the women and they worship him. He lives in a building with 69 floors. Yes I said 69. Still as immature as always Duke. And yet where did all the action go. For once there are no aliens attacking him. All he has been doing is just sitting on his arse and playing Duke Nukem 3D. Classic! When he least's expect it the Aliens start attacking after 15 years and man aren't they pissed. They come for revenge and Duke's women and it's up to Duke to save the world. Again.

    And the lengthy wait for a ryanlegend review returns after 2 days. Miss me?

    OK yes this game looks awful as a first impression but if you think about it, it's not so bad. This game uses the Unreal engine 2 and what the developers got out of it is actually impressive. The Unreal engine 2 was used for the original xbox and the developers were still using it possibly because it was supposed to come out on the original xbox but was cancelled because the developers still wanted to tinker with it. All I'm saying is that they still were using Unreal engine 2 and it's impressive how much power they got out of it. If they used a up to date engine then this might not be so ugly but still. Well done 3D Realms, Gearbox, Piranha games and Triptych games. Yes there were 4 developers working on this.

    OK I will do this properly now. Just wanted you to know some facts that's all. Duke Nukem looks ugly. The character models look decent but their animations are a little glitchy. The textures look blurry and they take a while to load up properly. The only decent looking thing is the lighting and water effects although the lighting can be a little too bright at times. The gore effects are actually pretty good.

    External image

    Damn. Your ugly.

    The game also takes a long time to actually load up the next scene. You will have to literally sit on your chair and look at a 40-50 second loading screen. There is also a little bit of screen tearing and the Frame rate can be jerky at times.

    I give the graphics a score of 5/10.

    The sound holds up better than the graphics. Sound effects like guns and explosions sound OK and the voice acting isn't half bad but the dialogue is just rubbish though. The game tries to be funny but doesn't quite get there. There are moments where it is funny but most of the time it just isn't funny or doesn't make sense due to poorly written dialogue. The soundtrack is much to be desired cause A) you can't really hear it and B) it's boring anyway.

    I give the sound a 6/10.

    The gameplay is actually alright. It has its fun moments and then it has its boring or frustrating moments. The gunplay is a little bit like the classics but some of the newer guns are a bit clunky but hell the Ripper is back though and is still fun to use. Ahh the memories. When it's just gun fights its pretty good but then you got the awful unexplained puzzles. The puzzles are poorly done and some of the platforming can be a bit annoying because there are some hard to reach platforms and if you die by not reaching the other platform you will have to suffer from the long loading screens. The bosses are OK but some are just really boring and just too simple for some players. The driving sections are a hit and miss.

    External image

    He's back baby.

    The multiplayer is surprisingly OK. It runs well and there is a leveling up system with quite a bit of depth. The game modes are amusing. Spank the babe. Genius!

    I give the gameplay score a 7/10. (pushing towards 8. shame the level design is linear).

    The storyline is simple. Save the babes and kill all the aliens. While simple it can be entertaining. Watching the story progress in a first perspective view is pretty cool and it does have it's funny moments. It also refers to Duke Nukem 3D and other games like Halo, Borderlands and Dead Space for some reason. I get the Borderlands bit cause Gearbox created it and Halo cause there was some funny dialogue about it but Dead Space I'm not sure about.

    I give the storyline a 6/10

    Is it your cup of tea?
    If you want something old school then go for this but some might be disappointed.
    Duke Nukem fans might like this but more for the hardcore fans.
    If you want something exciting and new maybe not.

    -Interesting use of Unreal engine 2
    -Good gunplay.
    -Interesting multiplayer.

    -Ugly visuals.
    -Poorly written dialogue.
    -Just not funny.

    Overall I think this is a decent game that needs a bit of tweaking but its not so bad. I give it an overall score of 6/10.
  • Balsin FaseBalsin Fase173,426
    01 Aug 2011
    9 11 0

    I wanted to preface things with that statement, just in case anything got muddled up while I try to compliment a game that has been utterly buried in vitriol and hatred that it hasn’t earned. In trying to review this game after the weeks of terrible reviews it’s received, it becomes more of a task akin to stopping a freight train with the power of positive thinking. Anyone who likes it is a chauvinist, is insensitive, and an idiot. Right off the bat, you’re on damage control.

    Well, here goes.

    For starters, if you liked Duke Nukem 3D, you will like this game. If you say the opposite is true, then your opinion of the game is skewed from not having played it recently. In anticipation of playing through Duke Nukem Forever, I played through Duke Nukem 3D to get a feel for the games again. Right in the first level, you’re bombarded by half-nude women on almost every surface while shooting your way through a porn theatre. After that come the strippers you can tip. Duke says some funny lines he stole from other movie toughguys. If this was a satire on action movie heroes, then I’m not seeing it. It was just a bunch of images we shouldn’t have been seeing as teenagers tacked onto, at best, a decent shooter. The original Doom games were far better shooters with less technology, if you ask me.

    Duke Nukem Forever starts with you taking a leak, then being able to grab poop out of the toilet and throw it. You’ll go through a shooting sequence with the most magnificent rocket launcher ever designed for a shooter. You’ll then have a couple of girls clambering off you in the next sequence, both of which are fully clothed. You can bum around your lavish apartment and admire statues of yourself. You can play pool. You can go downstairs and sign some autographs.

    You’ll probably be wondering when you will be able to get back to the shooting again, but for the people who actually remember Duke’s character, you’ll be chuckling to yourself as you watch what the full extent of his ego leads to. This is a man who’s gone completely unchecked as the hero of his own universe, complete with statues, musicals, and video games about how hard he rules. It may seem superfluous to the type of person who just wants to shoot some fellers while parroting military-speak they actually don’t understand, but for someone who knows about Duke as a character, you’re probably having fun.

    Why? Because this is ridiculous. You gain bonuses for admiring yourself in the mirror and playing a perfect game of pool. You’re drawing genitals instead of a signature when asked for an autograph. You’re seeing pictures of Duke doing absurdly manly things all over the walls. I would argue that he wasn’t a caricature of action heroes in the past, but he is now. The shooting started right off the bat in the old ones, but this one asks you to look over the manly image that Duke has cultivated over the years, for good or bad. Gearbox is poking fun, telling us all that this was the guy we’ve been begging to play as for over a decade.

    And I’m glad he’s here, because he’s as sick of looking at cover as I am. Duke Nukem Forever lacks any way of gluing yourself to cover, since it comes from the days when shooters expected you to be quick on your feet. The enemies in this game are all built to ferret you out of any hiding space you try to squirrel yourself into, forcing you to shoot the way it was always intended for video games: run and gun. No camping. No hiding. Not even really sniping. You’ve got to get yourself moving around and shooting as fast as you can manage. If you can’t handle keeping on the move, then the melee pigs or the teleporting aliens will disassemble you. The AI might not seem to bright about this, but that is just because almost every enemy heads straight toward you while firing everything he has, dodging only when you get a bead on him. It makes for absolutely frantic gunfights that are unmatched in current games, and is a blast to play over the hide and seek style of most shooter games.

    As to whether it looks good, it doesn’t, really. It’s jaggy up close, I’ll give you that, but calling it an original Xbox game? Far from it. This is on par with most things I saw from two or three years ago. Not amazing, but still not bad. It’s no worse than GTA IV, which looks doughy at just about any distance. What I liked about it more than any game in a while was that the first few chapters had theme.

    Do you remember when games had a character to them? An aesthetic vision that went further than just trying to look like real people? A lot of Xbox Live and Indie games strive for this cohesion with gameplay and look, but not the shooter. Well, beyond the ones that strive for looking real and being real. The shame is, you will never accomplish realism so long as getting shot only results in my screen bleeding until it feels better. Also, I live in the real world, and am not interested in it as a coloring choice for my fantasy worlds. Duke Nukem Forever goes for an ultra-bright and silly color scheme for its world, with Duke himself being the central theme. Things are focused around entertaining him, being painted with his color scheme, or on creating new images with him in them.

    That’s right, there’s colors in this game! Not just brown!

    The only drag is that the theme loses a lot of its power after the first few chapters, and that’s really when the development of this game starts to show. It moves from a cohesive line of thought about what a Duke game should look like onto a dull alien world and bland landscapes that go into an industrial building. Don’t try to tell me that the layouts of these make no sense, either. No one in the history of games seem to have ever been in an industrial building, judging from how they’re designed in-game, so stop griping. It sucks that it takes a lot of the personality away from the environments, but it’s rare that I find a game whose vision lasts for the entire work.

    Loading times do suck, though. Can’t argue that. Except that I played games during the PS1 era, so they don’t bother me all that much any more. Take a bite out of your sandwich during loading screens, you whiners. Jeez.

    Duke is crass and womanizing, and that’s exactly the character people have been clamoring to come back for years. Now that he’s here, like all dutiful boyfriends, you deny that you like hanging out with the party guy. You don’t want to head to the strip joint, because that is demeaning to women. You don’t tell dick jokes, because that is juvenile. Video games can’t have those things in it, because we need to convince Roger Ebert that video games are art or else it never will be because that man has final say on what is or isn’t an artistic work.

    If you miss frantic shooters where every second has to be earned, miss games that had some actual personality in their main character, and miss not trying to impress non-gamers with your hobby, then Duke Nukem Forever is for you. It’s not for the Call of Duty crowd that worries about their kill/death ratio, but for someone who likes games that are crazy and fast. Even if it’s a little tangled and confused at times, this game was the most fun I’ve had with a shooter in years. Well worth your money.
  • Removed Gamer
    Gamer has been removed
    18 25 5
    Exactly what I was expecting and more. I remember starting playing games like DOOM and Duke 3D. They were my first shooters. Having a throwback to that era of gaming is my dream come true. The thing I think everyone has to remember is this: it was never meant to be compared to current games (Halo, CoD, Battlefield, etc.). It was meant to be a throwback to the 90's shooters. I mean heck, it was even planned to originally be out in '98.

    Storywise, I'm happy with what I got. As a throwback, a story wasnt a requirement. The entire purpose of the game from day 1 was about kicking *** and not even taking any names while spitting out one liners.

    As far as multiplayer goes, I find it enjoyable, because I dont have to be hell-bent on getting achievements, and the entire multiplayer rank system is boostable. plus I personally think the rewards are way cooler than just having gun upgrades.

    Graphics? Amazing for using Unreal Engine 2. 'Nuff said.

    Overall, it was what I thought it would be. 9.5/10 from me.
  • TinMan0385TinMan0385118,377
    21 Aug 2011
    4 13 0
    The best way I can think of to describe this game is its a headache waiting to happen. If your a fan of the series then you will probably get more out of this game but for me it was not worth the effort that went into it's making if any effort was even applied. The best thing this game has going for it is the graphics which are mediocre at best. The average enemies you encounter throughout the levels rarely miss when shooting at you and lack of any cover makes this a serious problem when your being rushed by several enemies at once. The aiming is very tedious even tho there is an aim assist but for it to take effect one must aim so closely to the target that the assist becomes useless also the enemies are very tough if your not very careful you will find your self out of ammo just after a few fights or right in the middle of one. The game has long loading times as well so if you are in a difficult area were your dying often, you will spend more time looking at the loading screen than actually playing the game. The achievements are pretty basic beat the campaign on certain difficulties, kill so many enemies in different ways, and of course the old faithful collect all the -----. Ultimately I give duke nukem forever a 2 out of 10 if you are a fan of the series and you really want to try it i advise renting it and going from their but if you have never played duke nukem best to keep it that way.
  • Wull ScottWull Scott494,563
    20 Jun 2011
    27 36 21
    Is it fair to review a game that you haven't completed yet? Is it?

    After playing for one hour I ask you, dear reader, is it fair to make man play this dross? Is it?

    People might argue that the game has been in the making for 14 years or whatever, so what do you expect it to be like? You have to look at it from the point of view that it comes from a different time… Well, that would be fine if I was expected to pay £40 for it (that’s about $65, conversion fans!) 14 years go, but I’m not. I’m expected to do it now. Luckily for me my local game store rents 2 games for £5 for 5 days and I got this with Red Faction Armageddon, by the way.

    I was immediately suspicious when it was release in the UK before it was released in the US. You might call me a crazed conspiracy theorist here, but I think games companies know that if a game is reviewed poorly in Europe and the UK people in America IN GENERAL (all caps denotes a non-racist disclaimer) won’t really care. However the GENERALLY more cynical buyers of Europe and the UK would be less likely if Americans reviewed a game poorly. Admittedly, I only have Duke Nukem and Dungeon Siege 3 (one word review – Dull) to base this on because I’m too lazy to do any research, but both games originate in the US but were released here first. Odd.

    In a nutshell, the game has poor pacing, bad graphics, terrible voice acting, a script that should make a sane man want to eat his own ears, but you can pee, so IT MUST BE HILARIOUS!!! If anything, the game is a nice little curio, and to be fair if never released would have become even more of a legend – a sort of martyr. Released at a budget price, or even over Xbox Live for 1600MSP with a disclaimer that it wasn’t very good might have been OK, but people played this before release. Some of the people who MADE it must have played it. I don’t know…

    To raise the tone a little bit, I have condensed my review into the form of a haiku.

    Duke Nukem is bad
    No fun to be had ‘round here
    I'd rather eat pubes

    Thank you.