The campaign for Duke Nukem Forever is 23 chapters long (split into 36 different sections), and although you need to finish the game on Insane difficulty, this Normal playthrough will get you up to speed with learning the game and improving Duke's ego (health), among other miscellaneous tasks to get out of the way. Finishing the game on at least Normal will unlock some useful bonuses for us later on. Make sure you never restart a new game when moving to Insane difficulty, as you can just replay chapters in the same file.
Note: The game tracks ego boosts a bit differently than the walkthrough. Chapter 2, for example, has two ego boosts but lists four on the chapter select total. The walkthrough will be using the actual amount of ego boosts for the sake of clarity.
Note: The walkthrough uses the Duty Calls control scheme in the options menu, which switches the melee and crouch buttons to the more popular control scheme.
Chapter 01: Duke Lives
After the game starts up, pee a little into the urinal in front of you and leave it when prompted. If you'd like to see how poorly they animated Duke's jump, you can through the broken mirror nearby. Make sure to pick up one of the turds in the toilets before you leave the bathroom. Yes, the first thing you're doing for this walkthrough is picking up poop - a metaphor for how it might have felt for you to buy this game.
Right outside the bathroom, a few Earth Defense Force soldiers will discuss their battle plan, as a massive alien attacks from outside. Draw on the whiteboard with whatever marker you want to drastically improve their strategy.
Leave through some double doors behind and to the left of the whiteboard. Try to head outside, and when that doesn't work, head down the set of stairs protected by an EDF soldier. The guys down here will take care of any aliens in your path, so follow them from behind and get to a devastator at the bottom of an elevator that takes you up to the big cycloid wreaking havoc. There's a blimp up in the sky as you fight in the field; shoot it once for an achievement.
Fighting the cycloid is fairly simple. All you have to do is shoot at it with the devastator and wait for the EDF to drop supplies marked with flares when you run out. If you get hit, run out of danger until your ego regenerates. When it runs out of health, run up to it and mash to rip a vein-like organ out of it, then drop-kick its eye into the field goal.
Twelve years have passed since Duke's past adventure and it seems alien ships have recently arrived and remained dormant over the Earth. As soon as Duke gets up from spending time with the Holsom twins, enter the white door to the right to find yourself in yet another bathroom. A toilet lies behind another white door, and peeing in it gives you an (01/34) Ego Boost. Next to the toilet is an (01/14) Answering Machine that you should listen to. After leaving the bathroom, admire your reflection in the mirror for another (02/34) Ego Boost.
Next up is a terrible game of pool with yourself, which you can find by the Holsom twins. You need to hit every ball into the holes for an (03/34) Ego Boost. You may hit the ball while it's moving, but if the cue ball goes in, the whole game resets. Fun Fact: If the cue goes in after hitting the last ball in, it still counts as a loss. I speak from experience. This may take 20 minutes or longer to get right.
Leave the suite through two dark wood doors and enter an elevator towards the ground floor. What a thrilling start to this story.
Chapter 02: Damn! It's Late...
After passing through some halls, you should find a worker looking at some vending machines on your right. Walk in front of him and mash the snack machine's buttons until all 10 of its stored pieces of food fall out, then eat them all for a quick achievement to get out of the way.
A news report later down the hall will state that the aliens are now in line at Duke Burger. There's an employee lounge to the left of the TV-goers; enter the room and witness a man fanboy over you, then turn around to find some bags of popcorn near a microwave. Put one of the bags in there and heat it up to earn another (04/34) Ego Boost. After entering the studio, a kid will want you to autograph his book. Do so by scribbling whatever you want on it to earn another (05/34) Ego Boost. Walk between some blue curtains to uncover that the talk show interview has been canceled. Leave the stage through the other side and listen to a guy rant about his career is over, then punch him in the head to resolve the argument.
Continue out of the halls until you get back to the elevator that takes you up to the 68th floor - one floor below the penthouse. There's an emergency hatch button in the elevator that you can use to reach the Duke Nukem Observatory. A kid on Duke's throne wants a picture and refuses to leave until you give him what he wants. (There's also a room to the left that showcases Duke's oft-forgotten sidescrolling past.) Take the kid's picture using the booth near the throne, then sit on it yourself. to head down into the Duke Cave.
Chapter 03: The Duke Cave
Your first real enemies will come into existence here, and with them are a lot of other things to do. The President of the United States and General Graves will order you to stand down and not attack the aliens, which results in the aliens infiltrating the Duke Cave right after the call ends. Enter the door behind the throne to get to another door being blocked by an alien. It'll try to swipe at you, but all you've got to do is avoid its arms and punch it when it roars at you. At its side are some trophies that, when thrown, instantly kill the alien down the hall. This counts as one of ten kills with thrown weapons you need an achievement, and this is the perfect level to get these kills out of the way in.
Note: Some enemies will be reduced to a state where you can execute them with a close-up attack. This will restore your ego, and doing this at least 20 times is required for an achievement.
Pick up another trophy and open the door to a personal gym, then chuck the trophy at one of the two aliens lifting in there. The other will run after you shortly, so make sure you can get to another trophy to throw right after you kill the first one. Once the room is clear, grab one of the throwable curling irons in the upper right corner and curl it for an (06/34) Ego Boost. Another two (08/34) Ego Boosts can be earned by punching both the small and large punching bags in the room. Throw a basketball into the hoop above the door you came in from for another (09/34) Ego Boost. Finally, add a bunch of weights to the bench press bar (one is by some futuristic lockers in the corner) and lift all 600lbs for one more (10/34) Ego Boost.
The last (11/34) Ego Boost in this room requires you to earn a score of 290,000 points on the pinball machine in the corner, but there's also an achievement for earning 1,000,000 points, so that 290k score is redundant. There are two main tips for this: First, aim for turning all three lights at the top of the board red, which happens when the ball rolls through the lights' gates. Using the flippers moves the activated lights' positions so you can move the ball into an unlit hole if needed. The second tip is that in a worst-case scenario, you can try to get the ball to stop rolling at the upper left flipper by simply holding it up and waiting for the ball to rest. Gently tap the ball with this flipper so it hits some of the three little pictures on the wall above the flipper; each successful trio of hit pictures gives you a fair amount of points, but this is an incredibly slow way to reach that 1,000,000 points.
Pry open the glowing panel on the wall and carry a curling iron with you. Crawl through the vents and lob your iron at the next two aliens you see after exiting the other side. There's a beer on the ground just outside of the hole you came out of; pick it up by walking over it (it'll be added to your ) but DON'T drink it just yet - there's something else you need to get before you chug it. You can throw trophies at two more aliens before you have to leave your throwables behind by forcing open a closed door.
Follow some pipes to the left to get down to the floor below, then beat up the two aliens waiting there. They can't see because the lights are off, so hitting them should be pretty safe. There are large containers you can throw at the one alien in the next room before you have to pry open yet another door. Punch open a vent low down on the wall (sparks are occasionally lighting it up) and continue to a hallway with canisters you can throw at two nearby aliens. The reactor is being guarded by three final aliens, and if you've been killing as many aliens as possible with thrown objects, you should wrap up your ten object kills here. There's a weight on a table in behind the fence around the reactor itself that you can throw. Pick up one of the aliens' weapons after they die.
An alien will burst through a door after you successfully restore the reactor's power to a fair degree. Use your new weapon to fire back, then enter a room with a glass window looking into a locked room. A controller for an RC car sits by the windowsill; pick it up and drive it down to a ramp that takes it up to a small course. Carefully drive along the whole thing so you can knock a third energy cell off onto the floor, then drive it through a hole in the wall so you can pick it up.
Some steroids will appear after you've placed the third cell into the reactor, and so will several aliens. Kill them using the steroids or don't, but when you do take the drugs, make sure you quickly take a sip of that beer as well.
Note: Killing 15 enemies with punches while on steroids will grant you an achievement. If you want to get this achievement now, reload the checkpoint when the battle has died down until you get it.
Up ahead is a golden pistol. You must finish every level from now on with this pistol in tow for a related achievement. The rules for this are as follows: The game only counts when you've completed the level with the pistol, so it's okay to drop it for a little while. However, you must keep in mind that dying and reloading a checkpoint while the pistol is on the ground may spell disaster, so the walkthrough will assume you're just holding on to the gun at all times since you have two weapon slots.
Pick up the pistol and clear out the rest of the area, preferably with the alien weapon since your enemies will hold more ammo. Hop onto the massive gun in the middle of a large corridor to end the chapter.
Chapter 04: Mothership Battle
There are three achievements you can knock out in this short chapter. To start, fire at the mothership's cannon. This is the chapter's main objective, but you're also going to want to shoot at the alien drop ships until they explode. Doing this right will kill three aliens at once, and if you don't get to kill five drop ships, you can simply let yourself die so more of them can spawn.
This same logic applies to alien fighter craft, of which you must destroy 20. If you don't get the achievement, simply die and keep building up the count. You can also just use chapter select after you finish this first playthrough.
Actually surviving the attack requires you to destroy the fighter ships before they fly overhead, as letting two pass over you will be too much to handle. When you eventually destroy the mothership's cannon, Duke will be sent back down into the Duke Cave. Punch out a glowing vent and crawl through it to its end until everything fades to black.
Chapter 05: The Lady Killer (Part 1)
When the chapter loads, bash in the grate instead of wasting your ammo on it and help the woman in the elevator by repeatedly pulling the brake on the roof. You need to let go of it as it heats up so it doesn't overheat. After leaving the elevator, you'll find yourself smaller after having stepped in some alien junk. A boy will comment on your size; run towards a wheeled cart to push it so you can advance. The boy will eventually give you his RC car for you to drive. Much of the path ahead is extremely linear, and you should find any potential issues until you reach a golden statue in the middle of the lobby. Drive around the base to the rear and use a ramp there to cross to the other side using the car's turbo boost. After circling around a dark statue with Duke Nukem in the center, quickly drive out the other side and boost onto a ramp to avoid an alien's attacks. The second part of the chapter will load after a bit more driving.
Note: Assuming you've gotten the achievement for killing enemies with thrown objects, try working on killing 30 aliens with headshots.
Chapter 05: The Lady Killer (Part 2)
Two aliens will shoot at you from underneath a door. Pull out your weapons and shoot at them to take care of them. Drive to the other side of the room and, once the car can't take you further, leave it behind and crawl under a gate. Next, jump along some luggage and furniture to get to the perimeter of the room behind a bouncy couch. Walk back towards the RC car and jump onto an ashtray. From here, you can hit a button that'll raise the gate. Drive past the rest of the aliens until you reach the Holsom twins.
Run into the trolley in front of the next gate to push it towards a button on the wall, then press it after doing a bit more jumping to reach it. There's a machine between the twins that'll take you to full size. Break the glass in front of you and pick up the shotgun as a horde of aliens arrive alone and in pairs. One more alien will finish the conflict by stealing the twins.
Takedown some pigcops in the casino area before more aliens trickle in. It's best to keep your shotgun for the time being, and don't forget that you need to keep the gold pistol with you throughout the game. When the coast is clear, hop on the slots and play until you win for an (12/34) Ego Boost. Now you just need to backtrack through previous rooms until you're ambushed in a room with a car in the center. There are some steroids in the room, as well as some shotgun ammo by the gate on the other side of the room. Use these and you should leave the battle with full shotgun ammo.
Chapter 05: The Lady Killer (Part 3)
An EDF soldier will tell you that General Graves is up ahead. Direct the Duke statue so its left arm is up in the air, then have the pistol it's holding point at the soldier. Next, press to trigger an "alien attack" so the buildings around the statue fall, then jump along them towards the lower of the statue's arms. Jump along the statue to get to the higher ground. A pigcop will break into the room once you've moved towards the exit, and he's fortunately got more shotgun ammo on him. Take it from him and continue past the door he came from towards Graves.
Dropping down through a vent will treat you with two new objects for the first time: ammo crates and mines. Shoot the mines on the wall, then replenish your ammo before moving forward. To make sure the area is safe, shoot out mines once you're far enough away from them before moving forward. You'll also need to shoot some fire extinguishers to put out some fires in your path. You'll soon find more soldiers fighting off pigcops in a large room. Help them out and take note of the ammo crate.
There's a beer on the left side of the room that you should pick up. Use it (avoid the steroids) and focus solely on the larger pigcop as you sprint around to avoid attacks. It should take about 15 or so solid hits for the thing to fall. General Graves will inform Duke of the aliens' current position and plans right in front of the hotel entrance.
Chapter 06: Vegas in Ruin
This chapter is just a lot of fighting and moving forward. It should be pretty easy to follow to the end.
The EDF will offer you some familiar green power armor, including a particular (1/3) Helmet. Duke won't accept, but you can replace your shotgun with the ripper in the van. Head left and watch as some more soldiers are dropped into the arena ahead of you. Run up to the turret (the soldier using it will soon be relieved of duty) and use it to fire away at all incoming enemies until the fighting stops. Continue further until one of the soldiers tells another, Jenkins, to go with you. Wait until they blow up some debris before moving forward towards more alien squads. Take their weapons (one has a captain variant with higher ammo capacity) if your ripper isn't looking too hot.
An RPG rests past a few pigcops that drop in. Pick it up when you see it and take it into the pit below. Some aliens will come in to attack, as expected, but there's an ammo crate in a broken-down car you can use in tandem with the RPG to make quick work of your foes. A battlelord, one of two in the game, will later attack you in the pit after the usual aliens have been defeated. Use pipe bombs and your RPG to deal with him; you'll also have to return to the ammo crate a few times before he dies. You need to be extra cautious about your health due to its long regeneration wait time, so try to run around the pillar in the middle of the pit if you need to waste time. This is just a terrible fight regardless, purely of the game's design. On the bright side, you'll get an (13/34) Ego Boost as a reward for defeating the battlelord.
Find a ripper if you can and replenish your ammo if necessary before moving on, and make sure you've got that pistol with you.
Chapter 07: The Duke Dome (Part 1)
Find your way out of the sewers and, at the end of a debris path, shoot the burnt corpse of a dead firefighter hanging from above to let his extinguisher take out the fire below. Two workers will tell you that an octo-thing has slithered into the ground. One of the larger pigcops will fly in once you hop into a platform being held by a crane. There's an ammo crate, a ripper, and an RPG in here by a metal panel you can use for cover. The crane will sweep you around the construction site so you can kill the aliens swarming it. The platform will eventually fall once you've moved far enough.
Note: You may use this part of the game now or later by reloading checkpoints to grind out 10 environmental explosive kills. You can just get back to this when you've finished the game once and using chapter select.
Defeat more pigs surrounding yet another statue of Duke, then look to the side for a red barrel. Shooting it will break some crates, lowering a container so you can walk through it. You'll drop into an area with a small building; run around to the back and climb a ladder to get inside, where you'll find an (02/14) Answering Machine. Listen to it, then use the copier for an (14/34) Ego Boost. Hit the button once you're ready to fight. There's an infinite supply of explosive ammo in this room, so use it to deal with enemies instead of wasting ammo.
Press the red button by a gate, then pry the gate open to continue onward.
Chapter 07: The Duke Dome (Part 2)
You'll soon find yourself in a small pit of junk. Climb a ladder near a generator - you'll hear it humming - and throw a barrel on the corner of the shipping container so it lands on the ground. Next, shoot the explosive barrels visible from here to send another two barrels downward. Finally, throw these three barrels into a tilted red container in the corner, and make sure they're against the container's closed doors. It'll slope upwards, allowing you to jump to it from the blue container, then up to a higher scaffold.
Fight off a few aliens and reach the nearby crane's cockpit, then try to operate it to realize it's out of power. Use a ladder near the cockpit to climb to the top of the crane so you can reach the framework of a building at its end. Leave this first building by dropping down to a red pickup truck with some RPGs in it. Pick up an RPG, leaving your current weapon somewhere you'll remember to pick it up, and use a ladder to climb up the second building towards the battery you're after. As soon as you have it, immediately back up and get ready to lock on to an alien ship. The ship should be able to take 10 RPG shots before going down, so make sure you can reach the ammo crate here.
The ship will carve a path for you to reach the crane. Place the battery inside and use the wrecking ball a total of four times towards the left to stop any aliens up there from hitting you. Position the crane's arm towards the hole you just made and walk along it once again to the top. Break through a door and walk to the windows until you drop into the worst-written level of any video game, ever.
Chapter 08: The Hive (Part 1)
Walk out towards a large pit with several dead EDF soldiers decorating the outside, then return to the start of the level and walk up a rocky slope to continue. Break through some strange blockades and crawl through a hole once you hear a man scream; a bug inside will roll into itself, so push it towards a receptacle on the other end of the tunnel to open up a sphincter. Past this is another sphincter that Duke will tickle open when you interact with it. Immediately walk to the left once you're past the sphincter and crawl into a small space where you'll find a dead soldier with a rather interesting (2/3) Helmet.
Ahead is a room filled with some fairly vocal tentacles. Shooting them will force them to retreat into their holes for a short while. Do so and stop when you see a bright eye scanning the area in front of the next sphincter. Shoot it so you can safely advance. Activate Duke Vision so you can see in these darker areas. One sphincter later, after seeing an octabrain fly by a window, you'll see a group of cyst-like things in a tunnel. Shoot them from a safe distance to avoid damage. Try to block out the sound of women being r---- by aliens.
An octabrain will attack you in the next room. It should go down fairly easily, but you'll be treated to another hallway full of women, this time on the ceiling. Pass through another sphincter and try to avoid getting the octabrains' attention as they fly by. Once you're outside, a venus flytrap-esque part will let you bounce up to a higher ledge. Past the next sphincter, Duke will find the Holsom twins and make a terrible joke out of the situation before they explode due to the octababies inside them. These should be stepped on for achievement progress and doesn't have to be done right this second. To perform a stomp, look directly at the ground and approach one of them.
The next room contains a few more women who may also explode into octababies unless you kill the women first, so you'll have to let them explode so you can step on more infants. On the pillar in the center of the room are what are canonically called "walltits," which you must slap for an (15/34) Ego Boost.
You'll find a glowing bug up ahead. Shoot it and push it back to the previous room's bug receptacle to open up the next sphincter.
Chapter 08: The Hive (Part 2)
The corpses of soldiers you'll find throughout the rest of the chapter can be hit three times for supplies. Progressing further should be straight-forward for the time being. When you see a bug receptacle, keep moving up a slope and past several other areas until you find the bug for the job. Rolling it too close to any of the octabrain cells will free them, so you'll probably end up fighting a few before the bug is in place.
You'll next be introduced to pregnators, an alien species that flings stuff at you. You can easily grind out being hit by this at least 10 times for an achievement so you don't have to worry about it later. There are more octababies to step on if you're missing the achievement related to that. There's a big fight against several pregnators until you're able to reach a sphincter to take you to the queen.
You may or may not be close to having killed 250 aliens total by the end of this chapter. If not, you definitely will before you beat the game.
Chapter 09: Queen Bitch
Drop back into the Duke Cave's gym and pick up some explosives in a side room. There's a hole in which you can find another bounce pad; throw a pipe bomb onto it and detonate it once it lands on the other side of the door blocking your path. Before continuing, make sure you're full of explosives and have picked up the RPG next to the supply.
The queen will defend herself upon seeing you. For the time being, familiarize yourself with the little space you have; there's an ammo crate and some explosive supplies here, and there's a bouncy pad above the supply crate. To lower her guard, throw a pipe bomb on the pad and detonate it when it's past her defenses, then go nuts with the RPG. You can grind out an achievement for being knocked down 10 times here if you wish. Just let the queen hit you herself and recover before letting her do it again. You're looking for a purple blast attack.
This pattern will remain the same, but pregnators and octabrains will occasionally make their appearance to make things more tedious. The octobrains are far more deadly than usual since they can grab and throw your rockets, so use your gold pistol to take it down instead. Once the queen is weak enough, she'll stop putting her shield down, making her an easy target. You'll get an (16/34) Ego Boost for your work.
Chapter 10: Duke Nukem's Titty City
This chapter is dense with collectibles and minigames on your first time through.
A stripper will greet Duke upon waking up and will ask for three things: popcorn, a vibrator, and a condom. As soon as you can move, turn around and pick up on the (03/14) Answering Machine on the counter. Look for a DJ in the showroom and open the employees-only door near him to get to a locker room. There are several objects in these locks, but you just need to pick up the Vibrator. There's also some Popcorn and a microwave here; heat it up like you should have done in chapter 02, then return to the showroom.
Next, find the men's bathroom and open the free stall. You'll find a gloryhole you can use, which will give you an (17/34) Ego Boost. There's also a (1/9) Beer on a small shelf. Near the bathrooms are two connected employees-only doors; take the door closer to the men's room and look for a (2/9) Beer on some cardboard boxes marked with the numbers 52370. The employee room contains both an (04/14) Answering Machine and a Condom. Return to the showroom and approach the stage so you can ask for a special dance. Monique will oblige, giving you an (18/34) Ego Boost. There's also a (3/9) Beer on the border of the stage.
Return to the showroom and go behind the bar counter. There are two more (5/9) Beers in the fridge for you to drink. Past the bartender is a keypad; enter 4768 into it and drink the (6/9) Beer on the office desk inside. There's a third (05/14) Answering Machine near the desk as well. You should also find a DVD on a tray on the desk. Putting it into the DVD player by the TV will grant you an (19/34) Ego Boost.
Go to the game room and immediately turn on Duke Vision so you can spot the easy-to-miss (7/9) Beer can on a stool on your right. Drink it and start up a game of poker. As long as you have any winning combination of cards, you'll earn an (20/34) Ego Boost continue up to the game room, which is split into two halves. You can find yet another (8/9) Beer on the shelf separating the room on the air hockey's side. Now, it's time for a game of Alien Abortion in the corner. You need to pass through five waves of the game without missing more than two aliens per wave to get a high enough score to pass. If you have to, you can turn up your sensitivity in the pause menu. You earn another (21/34) Ego Boost when you finish the game.
The worst, and last challenge to take part in before finishing off the collectibles and the level is to beat the man at air hockey with a score of 7-0. Make sure your sensitivity is definitely set to around a comfortable 7/10 or so. The man has a terrible time defending against diagonal shots that bounce across the borders, so try to do that when on the offensive. If he ever scores, you can press to back out and try again. And before you ask, no, the developers didn't make a good air hockey minigame. If you're prone to throwing controllers, pad your room. You'll get an (22/34) Ego Boost for beating him 7-0, at least.
Now that that's out of the way, find the entrance to the champagne room and use the (06/14) Answering Machine at the desk. Since you have all three items for the stripper, follow her into the lap dance room and grab that last (9/9) Beer on a chair to the right before sitting down for the show.
The chapter ends shortly after the stripper performs for you.
Chapter 11: Crash Course
Shuffle down the debris and alien vines to progress. There are glowing sacs you'll come across that explode on impact; if you prefer to save ammo, just hit one with a melee attack and wait for your ego to recover - just make sure you back up after you hit one. Larger clusters are better off shot from a distance. You'll also encounter two wall tentacles with a glowing eye next to it. Shoot the eye once and you'll disable the tentacles for more than enough time to get past them. You'll know you're going the right way when you find lots of blue pods on the walls blocking your path.
Jump down to a thin path below so you can get to a concrete path with a gutter running through the middle. The end you land near has three frisbees on it, each with a logo of a developer/company involved with the game. All of them deserve to be thrown off the building for what they've done, but you only have to throw one to earn an (23/34) Ego Boost. Use the weapons on the railing to deal with a handful of flying aliens that appear.
When a ship leaves after you defeat its troops, concrete will drop, connecting your land to the next alien tentacle. There's just a little bit more platforming before you find yourself near a ladder. Use the turret at the top against the incoming alien fighter ships and dropships that head your way, but prioritize the fighters over anything else. Zooming in helps your accuracy immensely. A dropship firing back at you signals the near-end of the onslaught; fight it off and immediately get back to solid ground when Duke lets go of the turret.
You'll find a devastator and an ammo crate after a bit more traversal. Use these to take down the big jet the aliens send in towards you, then pick up the nearby ripper and use that to take care of the few single enemies before you're taken by one of the teleporting soldiers. Follow the button prompts and you'll eventually be sent straight into the Duke Burger.
Chapter 12: The Duke Burger (Part 1)
Turn around when you're back on your feet and walk all the way back to the end of the floor to find an (07/14) Answering Machine on the counter. In the employees only room, you can find a shotgun to replace your ripper (if you want to), but more important is the cigar on the thin metal rack. Smoke it to earn an (24/34) Ego Boost, then go back to where you started and continue in that direction. Bathrooms greet you at the end, and you can get another (25/34) Ego Boost via the dirty magazine in the first stall on your left. (If you accidentally run over the green pad on the floor, walk onto the blue one to get back to normal size; you can't pick up the magazine if you're smaller than it.
Progressing requires you to shrink down and walk into the open hatch near the first stall on the left. Once inside, grow to normal size and turn off the power, then break the wooden plank keeping the door shut so you can get back to the bathrooms. Shrink again and look at the two boxes near the bench by the main doorway, then climb up onto them to get onto the sinks. You need to hop off the trash can on the right and between the thin walls through the walls' hole so you can get to a rimmed gutter, which you can climb up. After a mere five or so seconds of walking further into the building, this part ends.
Chapter 12: The Duke Burger (Part 2)
Walk onto the roof panels until you fall through them, then get back to size. In the first room you get to, about five shrunken pigcops will be hiding under big cups. You can just look down at them and walk over them so you don't waste ammo, and this'll also count towards Hippy-Stomper if you didn't unlock it solely through The Hive. Jump through a window on the corner opposite the entrance, where you'll be forcibly shrunk down.
See the tilted pigcop statue leaning on the diner counter? Hop on the boxes near it (there's another tiny pigcop under a cup nearby) so you can get onto the counter, then walk to the other side and onto a tray. This'll eventually take you to another gutter to climb. Drop onto the big alien tentacle so you can get to the next room. Use your pistol (or a grenade) to deal with five rats eating an employee, then run to the employees only door and hide under a pinball machine next to it. Two aliens will run in, and the easiest way to defeat them is to lead them into one of the shrink-inducing aliens on the floor so it's an even fight. A third alien will enter when the first two are dead.
The storage closet is a big platforming barrage. Start by using the boxes on the far wall and work your way up. There are four pigcops in two pairs that you'll have to deal with from across the room, but they're not too big a hassle. Jump from your side's outward cardboard box to the box just across the room (near a lower shelf than you) when you're done fulfilling any desire you have to push stuff off of the shelves. There's a gutter pipe on the other end of the shelf you get to. Use it to get to the top shelf, then spring off from a spatula to get to the grate leading to the next room. Break it open to find an employee stuck on a table.
Look to your left and shoot at one of the rats. The others will come towards you and, if you're lucky, they'll all die from the rat traps on the ground. Jump onto the orange carrier and into a pile of ice, then jump to the spatulas sticking out of a shelf (they'll automatically bounce you to where you need to go). The next spatula will take you to the shelves on the wall above where you just were, but you need to jump from these into the sink and towards the glowing dishwasher button. Open the other side of the dishwasher with your hands and tip over a broom on the other side to continue, but watch out for two pigcops on the counter across the water.
Use the stuff in the corner to get up to the shelves above you so you can cross to the other side of the water. Hit the mayonnaise jar to lower the ramp upwards, then follow it around until you eventually drop down near the water's surface. Watch out for rat traps and shoot out the pigcop up above you across a gap, then jump to the lower shelf of the cart he was on and work your way up to get to the stove. You need to get across and jump onto the burger on the grill by waiting for the fires to go out. Jump from the end of the grill's cart to a toppled shelf, from there to an employee, and towards the toaster on the counter. Push its lever down and stand on top so you're thrown up to a high shelf. Use the hook on the frying pan wire to get across to another grill. Do not be fooled by the liquid next to the grill; this is a fryer, so jump over it. Just past it is the breaker switch, ending this awful segment of the chapter.
When the employee lets you into a room, climb up to a grate, and break into the vent. This part finally ends when you drop down a little bit.
Chapter 12: The Duke Burger (Part 3)
Look for a grate underneath your feet and break it open to find a pad that'll finally get you back to proper size. Climb up a ladder to get to the roof and grab a shrink ray to use on the enemies you'll meet here. The backup will arrive to get you off the roof when you're done with the enemies; use the shrink ray (make sure you keep your pistol) and take care of your dozen pigcop foes by stepping on them, but be aware that the shrinking effect only lasts a few seconds. There's another shrink ray just up some steps to a higher small rooftop. You can alternatively use steroids if you have some and work on your melee attack kills. If you already have this down, consider using the supply of trip mines for another pair of achievements.
When the endless supply of dropships starts dropping pigcop enforcers, pick up their weapons, and use these against them; they're far more effective than the shotgun or ripper. The last wave of enemies consists of two commanders - massive flying enemies that deal loads of damage with rockets. Fortunately, the small room on the roof serves as a pretty good cover. Make sure to use the Holoduke in the corner of the small building with the extra shrink ray on it for an achievement - it also serves as a fantastic distraction so you can run around to grab more enforcer ammo.
Climb into the chopper and leave the Duke Burger behind.
Chapter 13: The Mighty Foot (Part 1)
The chapter starts off with you in the chopper with a grenade turret on the way to the Hoover Dam. You'll have to do a lot of shooting until the place is clear, but you'll eventually land and will get a truck to drive. Just drive into a cave and this part'll be over.
Chapter 13: The Mighty Foot (Part 2)
Now that the real part of this chapter has started, make sure you focus on hitting and killing at least 15 aliens with this thing.
The path ahead is very straight-forward, but make sure you use the truck's boost when you see a sign saying the bridge is out. Just keep driving and plowing through enemies, stopping to restore your ego. Your truck will eventually run out of gas, causing you to walk the rest of the way on foot. There's an ammo crate near the edge of the road; if you still have the enforcer, this is a perfect time to use it; otherwise, use the railgun and other weapons nearby to take care of the pigcops that are about to swarm your location. The place isn't going to be clear until the music stops.
Leave the scene with the railgun and, of course, your golden pistol. Look on the left side of the road for a telescope and use it to spy on some women, which provides an (26/34) Ego Boost. Walk to the building at the end of this chunk of road and use the big wire spools to get onto the roof so you can drop inside. Use the computer's keyboard for an (27/34) Ego Boost, then listen to the (08/14) Answering Machine next to the computer. There's another (09/14) Answering Machine on the other desk. Take the gas here to the truck and get back inside so you can finish the drive.
The truck is meant to drive down onto the ground when the road hits a dead end. This finishes the chapter.
Chapter 14: Ghost Town
Boost over a toppled billboard and over another bridgeless gap until you reach a ghost town populated with a handful of pigcops. Defeat them with your driving skills and use a small metal shack-thing (it's very short) to boost over some rocks. When you get to a wooden bridge with supports that your car can destroy, try to keep as many intact as possible, as you'll be crossing this bridge after making a turn. The truck will once again run out of gas, so run into a nearby church and look for a magazine by one of the pews. Read it for an (28/34) Ego Boost, then head outside and get ready for a showdown with lots of pigcops. Make use of the explosive barrels here for more environmental explosive kills if you need to.
After taking out a handful of enemies emerging from the barn at the end of the road, another commander will come out. Use whatever's lying around in buildings and at the beginning of the road to take it down. Getting a can of gas inside the barn isn't going to be too difficult for you, but a new set of pigcops might make it hard for you to get back to the truck with it. Use the ramp behind the barn to get to the cave leading out of here.
Chapter 15: Highway Battle (Part 1)
Drive around and look for a billboard with supports you can break. Boost over the sign and drive on the highway, avoiding pigcop-controlled vehicles and explosive barrels until the road is blown up. Turn left and keep driving/boosting until your truck runs out of gas after another boost over a gap. That was quick, at least.
Chapter 15: Highway Battle (Part 2)
Walk into another ghost town and fight with the local pigcops; to take care of the turret-wielders (don't waste all your ammo on them - they might respawn infinitely for a while), hide behind cover and pop about 2-3 headshots in when they stop firing to take care of them. Your first priority should be anyone fighting on foot since they can run up to you from behind. As you move closer to the west cliffside after passing under some debris, do so very slowly and retreat behind some more cover if you have to. The enemy density on these cliffs is a bit absurd, and the turret pigcop doesn't help with that. Only move to those cliffs when the new cliff enemies are dead.
Defeat the pigcops by the turret and use it on the incoming pork troopers. As soon as you stop seeing them, immediately get off the turret and hide in the downed ship to your right; another ship will fly in to shoot you and you won't last long out there otherwise. Use the RPG in the ship to take down the one attacking you. Out of ammo? Don't drop it - use the ammo crate between you and the turret for more rockets. If you did drop the RPG, backtrack to the cliffside and look for one on your right as you walk from the cliffs towards where you started out.
When the ship has been destroyed, walk to the northwest corner (if you consider the cliffs to be west) and look for the gas can past some wooden beams. Walk up a slope and find a weighted cart to drop down the tracks. Pull the barrels out and push it up the tracks so you can use it, fight off some small aliens, and then grab the gas. You'll have to climb the wooden scaffolding here to get out, then use another cart to get back to the truck. Ride it out into the cave above a ledge to wrap this up.
Chapter 16: Dam Top
Drive the truck through the path given to you and boost off a ramp to plow into a dropship. Leave the truck in the water and use a ladder to get up to land. Speak to the President (why is he even here?) and then move on ahead to fight off pigcops with the EDF. Swap out your non-gold-pistol weapon with an enforcer gun when you find one and can get to an ammo crate. Clear the area and prepare yourself for the second of the two battlelords. This one has around 50% more health than the first one you encountered and has two health bars' worth of health during the fight. The best way to go about protecting yourself against this colossal foe is to stay behind a car so his gun can't shoot you, but stay far enough from the car that your enforcer can still fire at his upper body. It takes about two full stocks of enforcer ammo to take him down, but after jamming a horn into him once, he'll get back up and his health will fully regenerate. Use his get-up time to hammer as many shots into him as you can to make this phase easier - it may even only last a few seconds if you're close to the ammo supply.
You'll get an (29/34) Ego Boost for defeating this last battlelord.
Look around the road for a yellow school bus and look for a paper airplane on the floor. Throw it for another (30/34) Ego Boost.
Follow the soldiers' directions and walk into the dam through a door. It's time to head to the wormhole's source.
Chapter 17: The Shrunk Machine (Part 1)
Bust some doors through and pick up the freeze ray next to a wuss EDF soldier. This device freezes enemies, of course, and frozen enemies are left in an executable state. This'll make getting your 20 executions very easy, but more importantly, you can now start on obtaining 15 frozen alien kills. You should notice that the freeze ray recharges over time, which technically means it has infinite ammo.
You'll meet some pigcops in the next room. Use your freeze ray to the fullest and defeat two enforcers after they break through a door, which they'll do once the other enemies are dead. Look for a room on the ground floor that has an (10/14) Answering Machine on a desk. You can also find a paper airplane here if you didn't get the ego boost tied to them in the previous chapter. In this same room is a calendar with women posing on it. Flipping the month just once gives you an (31/34) Ego Boost. Flip it to all of the months (just from July to December) and see what it has to offer. January to June does not exist in this Duke Nukem world, apparently.
There are some steroids in the locker by the desk as well, and the next level has a good spot to grind out steroid kills. One of the maintenance workers will let you continue further into the dam after defeating these enforcers.
Chapter 17: The Shrunk Machine (Part 2)
At the start of this chapter, you need to use valves to redirect steam so you can progress. There's a puzzle involving two movable pipes, and the solution is as follows: With your back against the fence, have the piece on the right (the 90-degree piece) face 9 o'clock and 12 o'clock by using the little levers to move it. The straight pipe just needs to face 3 o'clock and 9 o'clock. After breaking three wooden planks blocking a doorway, you'll encounter an enemy-occupied room. Use your steroids if you need more steroid kills and punch out the four aliens on the ground, then pause and load the last checkpoint to do it again until you have the achievement.
Tougher enemies will enter the room as you deal with the ones on the catwalk. When they're dealt with, break a plank holding the ladder under the catwalk so you can get up there. Pick up the bigger enemy's RPG and use it on the same type of guy down the hall when you turn the corner, then grab your freeze ray again. There's only one more alien left, and he'll throw a grenade down the hall. Step back when he does so and take care of him, then make sure you step on the rat in the next room. You're about to shrink yourself using the pad on the ground and another horde of rats is going to swarm in, so you may as well kill this one.
Walk to the grate with two glowing screws on it when you deal with the rats and follow it through to the end, breaking grates and trash and whatnot until you reach a battery-powered fan. Zap it once with your freeze ray to make it traversable. You'll then reach a very hot room with lots of gears - try to get through them quickly and reach the top. There doesn't seem to be a penalty for staying in here too long, contradicting the music. Break a grate at the top on both sides so you can hit the energy sources, then break a grate behind one of the large fans to get out of here.
When you drop into the next room, you'll see some octababies headbutting an EDF corpse. Take care of them and push the red container near his body over to the foldable chair so you can get onto the table. Replace your freeze ray with the enforcer gun on top of a filing cabinet, then press the elevator button, which summons an ambush of octababies followed by an enforcer after he comes off the elevator. To take care of the enforcer, use all 15 shots from your gun, then lob your explosives at him as you escape his footsteps. Finally, swap out your empty enforcer gun with a shotgun on the ground in the room with the body to take care of him. Return the elevator and punch one more octababy so you can climb the railings to the button.
Chapter 18: The Forkstop (Part 1)
Break a wooden crate and get to that pad so you can finally return to normal. In the office building you reach after kicking down a couple more doors, look behind the open door for a third dirty magazine. This one grants you the last (32/34) Ego Boost obtained by interacting with stuff; the other two are rewards for beating bosses. Just make your way past a bunch of empty space and junk, dodge a bit of electricity as the sparks move back and forth, etc.
You'll have to fight off two octabrains after breaking a crate to jump down to a lower level. Crouch as you move around the corner, then wait for pigcops to come to you. There aren't a lot of them, so you can use your pistol on the turret pig when the others are dead. Run to it quickly and use it on the obscene amount of octabrains the game throws at you. Defeat them when the game lets you, then rain hell into the octaking that appears. Do not stop for any reason - aside from letting the turret cool down. You have to drain the octaking's health completely before he runs away; you'll deal with him later. The chapter ends when you pull open a door leading inside.
Chapter 18: The Forkstop (Part 2)
Lower the nearby forklift and consider killing at least six aliens with it throughout this chapter. Well, you know, "consider" as in "do it."
Four pigcops will fire at you once you turn down the hall. Raise the fork and ram into them for some of your delicious forklift kills, then get the rest of them after another turn. Jump onto a busted forklift to get past a metal fence, then walk into a dark room and walk through some doors until you get to the control booth. Enemies will enter the room after this, of course, so take them out however you feel like it. It's going to be a while before they stop showing up, but when they do, lower the forklift and raise its fork so you can get to the nearby upper ledge where some of the pigcops were. You'll find a barrel with a heart on it; grab it and walk to the other side of the main room and press the green button to lower a platform. Jump to it using the blue poles near the bottom and climb up to the top of the other ledge. Look for a door with a heart on the ground and put it down near there; the game will award you with a free stock of items. Run over all of it and get filled up.
Whatever your non-gold-pistol weapon is, replace it with the devastator. We're about to take care of the octaking again and this thing'll help a lot with that. Use the elevator on the other side of the hall to get down to the generator room.
Chapter 19: Generator Room
Once you leave the elevator, look for an (12/14) Answering Machine on your left near a water fountain. After a short walk, you'll get a debriefing from General Graves. Keep moving through debris and other obstacles (use some pipes connected to a crane to get across a gap) and fight off some pregnaders. These can just be killed with melee attacks to save ammo. You'll need to approach an electricity-covered coil and walk onto the tentacles on the right to progress. Keep going with this kind of thing and you'll soon meet a crusty old dude operating a crane. Walk up the stairs and get ready to fight several waves of enemies using the ammo crate here.
The octaking will appear once the crane has been stopped. To deal with the octaking, hide in the little booth on the right side and use pipe bombs (detonate them when the octabrains grab them) to defeat some of the octabrains. This leaves the king open for attack, and you'll have to repeat this until the next phase starts. When the booth is destroyed, prioritize killing the surviving octabrains as soon as possible, then reload and face the king. You need to keep firing and strafe from left to right to avoid his attacks and restore your ego. This'll keep going on until his health is entirely drained. Reload and use another full round of the devastator to finish off the octaking when he starts pulling you in.
You've got one more (33/34) Ego Boost after this one.
Leave the crane and walk back inside towards an elevator shaft. Drop into the water at the bottom.
Chapter 20: Underground (Part 1)
Come up to the surface and walk into a room with some fires blazing in it. Remember how, eons ago, you had to shoot fire extinguishers in one chapter to put out fires? Well, that's back. Keep walking through uneventful areas until you find a hall to the side of the room with circular platforms. Replace your devastator with the shotgun near an EDF body and hobble through the next platform's tentacles to progress towards a fast-moving fan in the ground. You need to push three red tool carts into it to shut it down, the third being at the top of the stairs in the hall nearby. Climb a ladder on the other side of the fan's hole and walk into the next hall.
Look for a squeaking vent cover about to fall off, climb up to it, and drop through another vent into the next room.
Chapter 20: Underground (Part 2)
Dive underwater and look for a path to follow. Use the bubbles in the water for air and open a hatch to approach a massive fan. Swim around it towards an open hatch, get inside to trigger an absurd amount of octababies to follow you, then retreat to the bubble stream back in the fan room. Use your shotgun as best you can and curse the developers for being brain-dead, then go back to their hatch and swim through to find a ladder leading out of the water.
Drop to the floor when you get to another turbine room and walk further into it until you see an EDF soldier get thrown out of a hall. Fend off the aliens in that hall - there are some shotguns to be dropped by pigcops - and walk up a small catwalk to find the last of the enemies. Walk down a big flight of stairs to finish the chapter.
Chapter 21: The Clarifier (Part 1)
Fight off a couple of pigcops and walk into a room with a cigar on a table. You can find an (12/14) Answering Machine here. Face off against some more pigs in the next room after breaking through some wooden crates. You need to push a yellow metal platform on wheels to the next ledge, and after falling into the roof of a building, you can find the next (13/14) Answering Machine. More pigs will enter the large room outside after you do a bit of exploring. Otherwise, look around the place for heavy barrels to throw into the crane's carrying tray. One is next to the tray and another is atop a yellow platform near the building with the 13th answering machine. This one and the third one (at a high point in the corner) require the yellow cart to reach.
As you collect these barrels, more enemies will pile in from the doors numbered 2 and 3 on the sides of the room. Use the first wave's enforcer gun to deal with the second wave, then pick up the barrel behind door 3 and get ready to fight two commanders at once. There should be enough RPGs around the place to deal with them. That's the last barrel, though, so climb the crane and get onto the catwalk on the other side.
Chapter 21: The Clarifier (Part 2)
Face off against a daunting size of pregnaders, octabrains, and a few pigcops until you hear that guitar riff signaling peace. Climb a yellow ladder in the corner and drop down into a room with sparks going all over the place. Your soldier friend is incapacitated in this room, and to start getting to him, jump to the spool on your right and climb up onto it as soon as possible. Make your way across to the other side of the water and move along through some double doors. You should find the final (14/14) Answering Machine at the top of some stairs on a wall.
Continue up the path to get back into the electrified room. Walk onto some pipes on your left to reach Dylan. His last words are to tell you to blow up the entirety of the dam to stop the invasion. Drop to the rotatable platform below him and start turning it until a few octabrains pop out. Defeat them using the ammo crate here and continue moving the platform around until you can continue. There's a switch that shuts off the power ahead, but it's behind two alternating currents of electricity. Just bear it and run through when one of them is down so you can reach the switch.
Dive into the water and look for a glowing valve near a red light. Turn it, then swim down into the depths.
Chapter 22: Blowin' the Dam (Part 1)
You'll want to use Duke Vision for this level. Swim to a large open area and turn the valve near the floor. Next, swim to the base of the large set of yellow pipes and turn left towards some rocks to find a (01/15) Catfish. Punch this thing. Restore your oxygen, then swim up the yellow pipes to the highest bubble stream. From here, swim to the very top of the area and look for an opening leading to more bubbles. Punch the (02/15) Catfish on your right as soon as you reach these bubbles. Swim in the direction the catfish was, into a stream of bubbles, and hit the (03/15) Catfish there as well.
Go back to where you started out here and, with the window behind you, look at around 11 o'clock to find another stream with a shipping container near it. Fight off the octabrain that comes out of it, then hit the (04/15) Catfish floating on the container's left side. If it's gone, you may have already shot it fighting the octabrain. Look left to find another (05/15) Catfish floating near a sunken boat. Next, turn to the right of the shipping container and locate several vents releasing bubbles all in a cluster, just a short swim away. Head there, then float upwards while still facing the large vent in front of you for another (06/15) Catfish. Swim towards the vent, place explosives on it, and turn left around the corner to get to a sunken car; this too has a (07/15) Catfish next to it. Turn the valve by the pipes to the right of the car.
The next fish is a bit hard to find. Stay by the bubbles near the valve and turn to face the big gap of open space leading to two bubble vents in the distance. As you head over there, look down to find a car with its headlights still on. Directly right of the car, near some rocks on the border of this hole, is a (08/15) Catfish. Shoot it with your pistol so you don't have to get close, then rush to the bubbles for air. There's another (09/15) Catfish by the sunken car near here; it's by the passenger door.
We're going to take a little detour. By this valve, look up and to the left and swim towards a body in a light; turn left when you get to the body and swim into an air pocket. Here, you'll find another familiar face, the third of three actually successful franchises that Duke tries to make fun of.
Move to the next vent (not very far away) and face the tilted rubble next to you. Swim on the left side to find a (10/15) Catfish hiding to avoid his fate. Swim to the next vent, then turn another valve past it. Defeat two more octabrains, then return to the valve and look up. Shoot the (11/15) Catfish and move to the next bubble vent. You should see the next (12/15) Catfish on your left just past this vent. At the next vent, swim up and turn left to shoot the (13/15) Catfish hiding up there, return to the bubbles, and turn the next valve in the distance. After turning it, look for three vents all in a row releasing bubbles to get to a safe spot. Turn to your right and locate a (14/15) Catfish next to an ammo crate, then locate an RPG in the water to replace your non-gold-pistol weapon. Follow the bubble vents on the right side and approach two pipes sticking out of the wall. Your final (15/15) Catfish is at the base of these pipes.
Place the second bout of explosives on the vent just up ahead, causing the energy leech to burst out at you. Just fire rockets and strafe from left to right, restocking on ammo at the crates on your left and right. This is a much easier fight than that of the octaking and you shouldn't come across too much trouble. This leech provides the last (34/34) Ego Boost in the game, meaning you're at absolutely maximum health.
Swim through the tunnel the leech came through and come up for air at the end of it.
Chapter 22: Blowin' the Dam (Part 2)
This chapter consists of your escape through the dam. Run and swim through the area quickly (though there's technically no rush) and defeat the stragglers when they appear. Switch your RPG out for whatever you want; you'll be losing it after this chapter. At one point a pigcop will start lobbing barrels, normal and explosive, down the stairs at you. You need to be safe yet get up the stairs quickly, as the water level is continuing to rise while you're on the steps. It's awful. Fortunately, the rest of your escape is pretty simple - and short.
Chapter 23: The Final Battle
Time to get this garbage over with - for the first of two times. If you've gone through the entire game with the golden pistol, this is going to be a big payoff achievement-wise. If not, you can always replay the game from Chapter 3 onwards on Easy difficulty later.
You'll be given your gold pistol once you wake up. Speak to the President, who is so fed up with you ruining his plans that he calls in the Cycloid Emperor. This is a surprisingly simple fight that consists of three waves, each with the emperor's own health bar. For the first wave, just use your pistol on pigcops that fall into the arena and take their RPG. Use their ammo on the emperor and continue this until he falls so you can remove a cable from his right arm. Do this again - the only difference being some pigcops are replaced with enforcers and one flying alien will attack you - to hit the left arm. The last wave adds a few more attackers to the start, and you should prioritize them before attacking the emperor again. General Graves will supply you with a well-appreciated ammo crate and a devastator, so use these to finish off the last of the aliens and the emperor's final health bar.
Peeing on the emperor's eye ends the conflict. Run up to Graves' chopper and grab on to avoid nuclear devastation. Do you get a real ending? Not at all.
Make sure you watch the credits all the way through for another achievement. It might take a while (about 10 minutes), but you at least get to see the poor saps who tied their names to this mess. Hell, even the post-credits scene isn't an actual ending.
Note: Now would be a good time to clean up any achievements you haven't earned yet by using chapter select and playing on the easiest difficulty. As long as you NEVER TOUCH the New Game option, you'll be fine for the Insane playthrough. You should be aiming for 48/60 achievements before starting. When looking for answering machines and helmets you may have missed, you can quit out of a chapter when you've interacted with it. You need to reach the next checkpoint after an ego boost to make it save.
For the next playthrough on Insane difficulty, you need to follow the directions on the next page. Do NOT start a new game, as this will cause your ego cap to fall back down to the basic level.
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