Goat Simulator (Win 10) Walkthrough

7. Waste Of Space

Waste of Space

Although I've listed (in detail) the locations of the collectables here, I know some of you may prefer a visual guide as well, so I'm linking this video of the collectables by Ktcee Achiever:

However, make sure you're still following along with the walkthrough here since there are a lot of other things you'll be doing while going for collectables! Also, since the collectables aren't identifiable from each other in the game, I made my list the same as they are in Ktcee Achiever's guide (i.e., "trophy 5/30" on this page is the same as the 5th trophy in the video, etc.)

Once you're in the game, press M to access your mutations menu, and activate "Angel Goat" and "Double Jump" (the most efficient way to travel is to double jump with, then hold R in the air with Angel Goat to stay in the air for a very long time)

Start off by headbutting the guy in front of you to collect some money, then jump behind the desk to your left and destroy the crates for some more money. In the next area, continue to gain money by headbutting the people with "$" symbols, along with headbutting crates. Once you have enough money, the door labeled "Colony" will unlock and you can go through it. Once you're in the next room, look immediately to your right and above the reception desk for Trophy 1/30. Keep gathering money by headbutting people and crates until you unlock "Colony", the big open area.

Before you enter Colony, head back to the reception room where you grabbed the first trophy. The other door in here is marked "Landing Pad". If it's locked, you don't have enough money and will have to come back later. If it's unlocked, go inside and take the lift up, then jump up to the small ledge with a person and Trophy 2/30 (remember, you can come back to this later if it's currently locked...you'll for sure be able to access this area at this point).

At this point, make sure you utilize your map in the pause menu to pinpoint the locations I refer to for the remainder of the Walkthrough. Also, make sure to always be headbutting people and crates for money!

Enter Colony, then look immediately to your left at some people having a picnic surrounded by candles. Just behind them is a white structure with 4 pillars and a larger one in the middle. Right in front of the larger pillar is Trophy 3/30. Head back to the door you came through, and while looking at the door, look slightly to your left. Against the wall is a sheet of metal - jump up to the roof here. Once up top, look behind the crates to your right for Trophy 4/30. There are several money crates here to destroy as well.

Head to one of the large white domes labeled "Museum" (labeled "Origin of Spaceflight Museum" on your map). When looking at the word "Museum" on the side of the building, go up to the little area behind you where there's a banner labeled "One Capsule Hotel", along with some red flower beds. In the middle of this little area is Trophy 5/30. Head to the Quarry, located in between your current location and the "Crowdfunding Stations", and a little bit to the right. Once you're there, go to the stack of three large crates that are labeled "Quarry". You can head inside of the first one and grab Trophy 6/30.

Next, head to Eastern point of the map where there is a set of 2 connected domes labeled "L:03". On the other side of one of the domes is a big construction truck, and above it are a bunch of plywood boards that lead up to a rocky ledge. Climb up to the rocky ledge, then jump your way across a bridge of more plywood boards to the next ledge that contains Trophy 7/30. Jump down and head to the south-eastern part of the map to the very large area marked "Test Chambers", which you probably can't access yet. Either way, head down the ledge here to the blue sign that says "Test Chambers". Behind the sign is a half-circle stone landmark, and in the middle of it is Trophy 8/30.

When looking at the blue sign, look to your right and head down the path to where there's a person working on some sort of vehicle, called "the Podracer". Go up to the Podracer and enter it, then boost forward to unlock:

It's working... IT'S WORKING! in Goat Simulator (Win 10)
Run wild with the Podrunner.
  • Unlocked by 82 tracked gamers (95% - TA Ratio = 1.96) 86

Continue on past where you entered the Podracer into a toxic area with a glowing green barrel. Lick the barrel with E, then continue wrapping your way around the back side of the large dome until you reach an area where you'll be notified of "the Hatch". Bring the barrel to the cylindrical tube, which will open up the big bunker door to the left, revealing Trophy 9/30. When looking at the cylindrical tube where you placed the barrel, head directly right for a small ways until you come across a big cylindrical object that almost looks like a bridge. Directly below this is a little area with some crates, and on top of a rock is Trophy 10/30.

If you look in your mini-map, you'll see you're near an area that looks like a nearly full circle with a "T" in the middle of it. Go here, and you'll see a bridge with a couple of people and a ball-pit down below. Lick a human, then drop them into the ball-pit to unlock "good goat" mutator, which you'll need for later.

Behind this area is an entrance to the big Research dome. Once you're inside, head directly straight for a few steps and drop down into the ravine. In this ravine are a few crates, along with a statue-like object by all the red trees. On top of this statue is Trophy 11/30. After that, take the ladder up, and once you're up top, look directly to your left, where off in the distance is an exit back to the Colony. Just before going through the exit, jump down below the bridge for Trophy 12/30.

Exit to the Colony, then head to the South-Western part of the map until you're in front of an exit to the Academy, right by a vendor stand. Behind this vendor is a big white structure surrounded by some hot springs. Wait for steam to spurt out of a spring, then jump in it to launch in the air. When you're in the air, land on top of the white structure on one of the white rings that has Trophy 13/30.

Near this area is a building marked "Librar-E". In front of where it says "Librar-E", on the ground is a glowing blue octagon. Step on the octagon to launch up, then land on the ledge above the "Librar-E" sign. On the left path of the ledge is Trophy 14/30. From here, look out towards the building marked "Bonnie's Beds and Beyond", where to the left of this is a crate labeled "Crowd Kicker", where to the left of that is a small rock formation. In this rock formation is a small cave that contains Trophy 15/30.

Head into Bonnie's Beds and Beyond and into the nebula portal. On the other side, head through the exit in front of you, then keep going forward and slightly right to the farm area. On the ground beside the silo is Trophy 16/30. Turn around and head towards "Sonny's Soup and Stargates", but don't head inside. When looking at the entrance to Sonny's, go slightly right into the farmland, then jump up on the gray ledge. From here, look towards the large silo directly beside you, then jump up to land on the pipe attached to the silo where you'll find Trophy 17/30. Head into Sonny's and take the portal back to the Colony.

Once you're back, go through the door then take a sharp left. On the ground ahead of you is a large crater with an asteroid in the middle. Keep headbutting the asteroid to reveal Trophy 18/30. Go towards the large white dome near here and follow it clockwise for a while until you come across "Photon Emitter Swords" and head inside. With the "good goat" mutator activated that you unlocked earlier (you may need to deactivate all other mutators first) lick the rainbow-colored photon emitter swords to unlock:

Use the sword, goat in Goat Simulator (Win 10)
Pickup a photon sword as father or good goat.
  • Unlocked by 78 tracked gamers (91% - TA Ratio = 2.00) 86

Exit Photon Emitter Swords and continue following the dome clockwise until you see a large white banner marked "Aries". On top of the left pole holding up this banner is Trophy 19/30. From here, go towards the sky-bridge that connects two of the domes and you'll come across two spinning fans on the ground. To the left of these fans is a path that leads to a green-gooey area with a spaceship.

In this area is a bunch of glowing green eggs. You need to headbutt or kick all of the green eggs to destroy them for an achievement. In this area are a total of 36 eggs, none of which are hidden and are very easy to find. There is a final, 37th egg in the museum that you will destroy later. Still in this area, take the path up the cliff to where you destroyed some eggs near a few cages. Just a small bit past this area is a narrow ledge where you'll find Trophy 20/30.

Make your way back to the white Aries banner, where just in front of it is an entrance to the "Academy" dome. Once you're inside, head slightly left towards an area marked "Command Bridge" (which might be locked for you right now - that's fine). To the left of the Command Bridge is a half-pipe that holds Trophy 21/30. Across from the halfpipe is a jail area called "The Slammer". Outside the entrance to the Slammer is a guard. Talk to him with "1", then jump inside of the courtyard and lick a prisoner. While still licking the prisoner, jump over the gate and into the entrance to the slammer. Once inside, look to your left to see a small area with a ladder and spray paint cans on the ground. This is actually a cell, so bring the prisoner into it and drop them off and you'll unlock "Jailbait", which allows you to spray paint cans.

Turn around and head in front of the Command bridge to a small courtyard-area containing a rotating cube and two Star Wars figures. From here, continue forward to the buildings up ahead, and the one on your left is marked "Jar Jar Blinks Opticians" (clever, right?). When looking at the entrance to Jar Jar Blinks, turn left and head down the stairs to another blue hexagon on the ground. Take this hexagon up and land on the roof behind Jar Jar Blinks, which has another blue hexagon, then take this hexagon to the next roof that contains Trophy 22/30. From this roof, look down and you'll see two small white buildings with several people outside. Jump down here and you'll see a wooden crate with some spray paint cans. Lick one to pick it up, then spray-paint the stone wall right next to you. Keep doing this until you unlock:

The world is your canvas in Goat Simulator (Win 10)
Tag 10 walls.
  • Unlocked by 72 tracked gamers (84% - TA Ratio = 2.09) 86

At this point, you need to have Teleporters unlocked ($25,000). You should have already unlocked it or be very close at this point. If you haven't yet unlocked it, you need to go around finding crates and people to headbutt until you've unlocked it.

Head towards the exit that's near the half-pipe. To the left of the exit is a teleporter - take it to end up in the teleporter room, then take the Museum teleporter. Once there, head forward and you'll see the final glowing green egg in a display case that says "Pulsating Egg". Jump inside of here and headbutt the egg to destroy it, unlocking:

The alien or the egg? in Goat Simulator (Win 10)
Headbutt all alien eggs
  • Unlocked by 74 tracked gamers (86% - TA Ratio = 2.06) 86

(If this didn't unlock, go back to the Alien Infestation area and make sure you destroyed all 36 eggs there)

Just behind the egg display case is a pipe that's pouring water into a small lake. Jump into the water, then look in one of the middle arches of the bridge for Trophy 23/30. Go up to the bridge and cross it to enter the Origin of Spaceflight section of the Museum.

Once inside, head up the stairs to the top ledge and walk around until you reach a large red button. Jump on top of the button to activate it and cause an explosion down below. Then, head to your right and up the small set of stairs to the hanging rock, and headbutt it to release it which will swing down and crash into the orrery below. Once it crashes into the orrery, it will break open the Earth, exposing Trophy 24/30.

Next, go back upstairs, past the red button all the way to the end where you'll see a Port-a-Potty (the game calls these "Turdis"). Headbutt it to make it spin and fly away. This is the first of 3 turdises you need to headbutt in order to unlock an area called "The Badehaus". Once you've headbutted the first turdis, leave this room and cross the bridge towards the exit, then take the teleporter that's to the left of the exit. Once in the Teleporter room, take the "Carrier" teleporter. Once there, turn around and head to the end of this ledge for Pony 1/5. Then, go towards the door that's marked "Crew Quarters", and take the stairs up to the right of the door. At the top of the stairs is the second turdis to headbutt.

Still in the carrier, we're going to grab the rest of the ponies. Go through the Crew Quarters door and down the stairs. Once you descend a second set of stairs, look behind the stairs for Pony 2/5. Head back up the stairs and through the door back to the main area, then look to your right for the "Facility Tour" area, where there appears to be a car that can travel through a tunnel. Rather than going into the car, simply jump into the tunnel on the right side that's glowing red and proceed forward. Then, jump up to the section above you that's glowing red, and continue going through the tunnel. At the end is one more section above you to jump upon, then immediately turn around and look at the car that's hanging which contains Pony 3/5.

Head back out towards the teleporter and take the door that's below it marked "Canteen". Once inside, turn right and follow the path to be lifted to the area above, then go through the "Canteen" door. Once inside, look slightly to your right at a table that's on a balcony. On the chair here is Pony 4/5. Jump down from the balcony to the main area, then head to the left-side wall (the "Storage" door wall, not the "Canteen" door wall) and follow it to the end where there's a docked ship. Jump on top of the ship and you'll see Pony 5/5, your final pony for:

My little brony in Goat Simulator (Win 10)
Find all the pony horses.
  • Unlocked by 74 tracked gamers (86% - TA Ratio = 2.06) 86

Now, back to headbutting the remaining turdis. Go back through the teleporter, then take the "Academy" teleporter. Once there, head to the center area with the rotating cube and 2 Star Wars statues. The third turdis is at the base of the statue with the blue lightsaber. Head back through the teleporter, then into the "Research" teleporter. Cross the bridge, then take a right at the end. As you head towards the "3D Printer" building, a turdis will drop on your left. This turdis contains a portal, which you can go through to unlock:

Splishy splashy in Goat Simulator (Win 10)
Visit the badehaus.
  • Unlocked by 72 tracked gamers (84% - TA Ratio = 2.09) 86

While in this room, jump up to the top diving board where you'll find Trophy 25/30. Exit this room through the dark door underneath the "Badehaus" sign, then go inside 3D Printer building. Stand on the big red button on the right, then headbutt the button beneath the blue art palette. Once you headbutt it, it will turn pink, then head to the other side and headbutt the button and you'll unlock "pirated goat" mutator. As a pirated goat, find any human and lick them, then spam R to duplicate them. Once you've duplicated a few bodies, headbutt all the bodies to gain money. Keep repeating this process until you earn $100,000. This is a bit grindy and will take about 10-20 minutes to complete (depending on how much money you currently have). Once you've reached $100,000, you'll unlock "Dinner with the CEO", which you'll do later.

For now, take the teleporter. Then, go back through the Carrier teleporter. This time, go up the stairs that are between the Storage door and the ship where you collected the final pony. Up here, you'll see a device where there are some cables connected to consoles. Headbutt both sets of cables to detach them. Then, jump down in front of the ship where you collected the pony and you'll see you unlocked "Zero G". When looking at the ship, turn left so you're facing the crates on the ground, then jump up to allow gravity to ascend you, then enter a vent where you'll see Trophy 26/30. Then, go back towards the Facility Tour section, then look slightly to your left to see an "Aries Corporation" sign on the wall. Jump up directly above this sign to reach another small vent with Trophy 27/30.

Jump down then head through the Storage door and descend the stairs to the bottom. In front of you you'll see a red crate, and behind it are a few servers. Lick the servers behind the red crate and move them to reveal a grate. Lick the grate to remove it, then you can head inside to grab Trophy 28/30. Exit the storage room and head through the Crew Quarters door. Once you've descended the stairs where you grabbed a pony from earlier, take the path on the right all the way to the end. At the end, turn left and head through the door. Head to the back of this room to the showers and enter the right one (men's showers) to find Trophy 29/30.

(At this point, you can go back and collect Trophy #2 if you were unable to at the beginning.)

Make your way to Landing Pad (where you collected Trophy #1 and #2) and take the elevator up to the spaceship. If the ship isn't there, go up to the blue console on the right and respawn it. Once it's there, jump on top of it and enter it. For this section, you're in a spaceship and need to destroy other spaceships. Here are the controls:

ship controls

The hardest part of this section is figuring out the controls, especially controlling it on the x- and y- axes. You can invert your y-axis in the settings if you'd like, although it's still going to take a while to get used to. You need to destroy all of the freighters (yellow), pirates (red), and 30 police ships (blue). If you die or fly too far off and are forced to eject, your progress DOES still count, so you can simply head back to the ship and keep trying. It will take some getting used to, and there's not much advice I can give other than to take it slow (I never once used "boost", just acceleration at times) and to try and get as close as you can to enemy ships until you auto-lock on to them:

Be not afreight in Goat Simulator (Win 10)
Destroy all freighters
  • Unlocked by 70 tracked gamers (81% - TA Ratio = 2.12) 86

Ruler of the seven skies in Goat Simulator (Win 10)
Blow up all pirate ships
  • Unlocked by 71 tracked gamers (83% - TA Ratio = 2.10) 86

Bacon marauder in Goat Simulator (Win 10)
Shoot down 30 police ships.
  • Unlocked by 70 tracked gamers (81% - TA Ratio = 2.12) 86

Once you're done with that, it's time to go to the dinner with the CEO that you unlocked at $100,000. To get there, go to the white Aries banner where you picked up Trophy #19. When looking at the banner, look directly to your left. Rather than going down the path on your left, continue going toward the red trees. Just past these trees is a small campfire, and behind it is a small bridge you can cross. Cross it and you'll end up in front of a structure within the rocks that you can enter.

Once inside, head to the end where the CEO is waiting for you. Headbutt him into the chair behind him, and you'll be given the ability to spawn money crates, which is a very fast way to earn money. To do this, simply stand in place and spam R to spawn the crates while simultaneously headbutting to bash open the crates. Doing this will make you earn money at a very fast rate (about $100,000 per minute or so). Once you've reached $1,000,000 you'll unlock:

I wanna be a baahlionaire in Goat Simulator (Win 10)
Gather $1000000
  • Unlocked by 72 tracked gamers (84% - TA Ratio = 2.09) 86

Finally, it's time to collect the last trophy. Go to the Test Chambers (huge skyscraper in the southeast corner of Colony) and make your way through the building until you reach a white door that says "Testing Chambers | Test It". Once inside, you'll see a cow. Lick the cow and drag it to the large button on the ground that has a symbol of a cow on it. Once you do that, the cow will get sucked into the tube above, and the door will unlock to the next room. This is essentially how the test chambers work: by figuring out how to get the cow onto the button to unlock the next room.

Room #2 is full of red buttons. In front of the locked door, you'll see a blue frowning face on the wall. On the floor in front of this face are a small red button and a large red button - step on the large one to open the door.

Room #3: Lick the cow and drag it up the ramp to your right and you'll reach two blue platforms at the top. Jump to the second platform and release the cow here. Jump down to the red button and step on it which will drop the cow and break open the wall. Lick the cow and go to where the wall broke to be lifted up above where you can find the cow button. Proceed forward and ascend up to the next room.

Room #4: Right when you enter, the table in front of you has a tethering device mutator you can pick up. Do so, then lick the cow and bring it over to the tethering device that's next to the red button (it's glowing blue electricity). Once that's done, shoot the cow with a tether, then shoot the device with a tether, which creates a charge between the cow and the device (note: if money crates are still spawning for you when you shoot a tether, make sure you to destroy the creates as they can interfere with the cow-device connection). Once that's done, step on the red button and stay there until the cow goes through the tube and you can progress to the next room.

Room #5: This room is simple as the red lasers don't actually damage you or the cow. Simply double-jump your way up all the platforms to the top. At the top is the cow button and you can progress to the next room.

Room #6: Lick the cow, then head forward to the corner of this section where you can see the cow button down below some paned glass. If you look up, you'll notice a part of the glass is angled out and you can actually get up there by double jumping. Once you're up there, keep jumping and angling around until the cow is up there with you, then you can drop the cow down to the button below, bypassing the entire puzzle of the room. Once the cow goes through the tube, jump up and head through the now open door.

Room #7: Lick the cow and keep running around the room in a clockwise direction. As you do this, you'll notice objects will spawn in, and cow pictures will appear on the wall. Keep moving clockwise until the walls have been completely filled with cow pictures, then move anti-clockwise until you can drop down. Once that's done, you can drop down to the next room.

Room #8: While licking the cow, step on the big red button on the floor to open the door in front of you. Head into the next room, then look on the right wall where there's blue lights and cow symbols above a vent. Take the vent down to complete the test chambers and unlock:

Testaholic in Goat Simulator (Win 10)
Testaholic31 (15)
Complete test chambers.
  • Unlocked by 74 tracked gamers (86% - TA Ratio = 2.06) 86

Now, the room you were previously in (blue lights with the vent) has opened up another door. However, if you're like me and got shot into space, you need to respawn from the start menu, then head back to Test Chambers - don't worry, you don't have to do them all again. To the right of the entrance doors to Test Chambers is a portal that says "Resume Testing" that will bring you back to room 8.

Once you're back in room 8, head through the newly opened door and follow the path to the end where there's a car you can enter. Go inside of it and you'll take a long ride up top. Once you're arrived, immediately in front of you is a door to the diner, and to the right of the door is Trophy 30/30, your final collectable for:

NERD! in Goat Simulator (Win 10)
NERD!32 (15)
Find all collectibles
  • Unlocked by 68 tracked gamers (79% - TA Ratio = 2.15) 86

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