Full list of all 85 Goat Simulator achievements worth 2,375 gamerscore. It takes around 3-4 hours to unlock all of the achievements in the base game.
The base game contains 30 achievements worth 1,000 Gamerscore, and there are 4 DLC packs containing 55 achievements worth 1,375 Gamerscore.
Fight the turtle
Why did you step in that? Yuck
Make sure the Hillbilly never drives again
Hit the party with the Boulder of Death
Lick the Hanging Glider
Ride a bike for 60 sec
Thrash the Goathenge
Do no evil
Become the Queen of Goat Ville
Win the title bout!
Have 10 gas canisters explode at the same time
We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell
Find the Sanctum 2 Walker Statue
Find the Sanctum 1 Walker Statue
Hold your own concert
Travel to space!
I'm sorry about my goat
Everything the light touches is your kingdom
Get up on the skyscraper without using the elevator
Bounce 100 times on mattresses within 30 seconds
Sacrifice the 3 Sanctum items
Visit 5 trampolines in one jump, bouncing on each trampoline once
Find all the trophies in Goat Ville!
Finish all manual quests
Score 10 points in Flappy Goat
Go on the catapult with a rider on your back
Find all the blocks
Lick the rollercoaster with 6 batteries attached
Buy all hats
Find all collectibles on level 2
Enjoy your trip
Baa with the choir
Unlock the ExcaliGoat mutator
Jörgen
Find all the trophies on the MMO Level.
Unlock the mermaid mutator
Jump on the launchpad
Get deviously trapped again
OMG IS THAT WHAT I THINK IT IS?
Visit all zones on the MMO level
Trash the server room
Unlock the wheel of time mutator
Do a lot of hurt. With your butt.
Unlock the gravity goat mutator
Do a card trick at the magician
It never erupts when you want it to.
Craft all the weapons in one game
Craft all items in one game
Survive 10 days
Make the stew taste as good as HUMANLY possible
Clear 25 survival quests in one game
Use the slippery slide to land in the kiddie pool
Kill 7 zombies with one minifun
Hit 5 zombies in one bullet dive
Hit 4 at once with a voodoo bomb
Crystallize and break 30 zombies in one game
Eat 50 food items in one game
Paraglide in the air for 1 minute
Beat the whiplash course without getting wet
Play GoatSimSim for 5 minutes
Find all the trophies on the Payday Level.
Just finish that one LAST job.
Win 3 hands at a Blackjack table.
Show off your vehicle air control skills in the desert.
Gather the crew for some drive-in movies.
Lick all crew members together to form a Goatipede.
Use Dolph Spaghetti to lift a crewmember on top of the tallest building.
Enable the hydraulic cars.
Use a cannon to travel to the Island in the Sky.
Wear 30 masks at once
Place a Hogtied NPC on the train tracks and wait for the train to arrive.
Listen to the whole pan flute song.
A Trip to the Moon.
Shoot Down 30 Police Ships
Destroy All Freighters
Gather $1000000
Run Wild With The Podrunner
Find All The Pony Horses
Find All Collectibles
Visit The Badehaus
Complete Test Chambers
Tag 10 Walls
Pickup A Photon Sword As Father Or Good Goat
Headbutt All Alien Eggs
Blow Up All Pirate Ships