Full list of all 85 Goat Simulator achievements worth 2,375 gamerscore. It takes around 4-5 hours to unlock all of the achievements in the base game.
The base game contains 30 achievements worth 1,000 Gamerscore, and there are 4 DLC packs containing 55 achievements worth 1,375 Gamerscore.
Lick the rollercoaster with 6 batteries attached
Find all collectibles on level 7
Find all the blocks
Go on the catapult with a rider on your back
Buy all hats
I'm Sorry About My Goat Achievement
Fight the turtles
Why did you step in that? Yuck
Hold your own concert
Get up on the skyscraper without using the elevator
Thrash the Goathenge
Visit 5 trampolines in one jump, bouncing on each trampoline once.
Sacrifice the 3 Sanctum items
Find all the trophies in Goat Ville!
Find the Sanctum 1 Walker Statue
Bounce 100 times on mattresses within 30 seconds
Lick the Hanging Glider.
Travel to space!
Win the title bout!
Everything the light touches is your kingdom.
Ride a bike for 60 sec
Have 10 gas cannisters explode at the same time
Score 10 points in Flappy Goat
We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell
Make sure the Hillbilly never drives again.
Hit the party with the Boulder of Death
Finish all manual quests
Become the Queen of Goat Ville
Find the Sanctum 2 Walker Statue
Do no evil
Get deviously trapped again
Unlock the mermaid mutator
Find all the trophies on the MMO Level.
OMG IS THAT WHAT I THINK IT IS?
Unlock the gravity goat mutator
Visit all zones on the MMO level
Unlock the wheel of time mutator
It never erupts when you want it to.
Trash the server room
Unlock the ExcaliGoat mutator
Baa with the choir
Enjoy your trip
Jörgen
Do a card trick at the magician
Jump on the launchpad
Do a lot of hurt. With your butt.
Kill 7 zombies with one minifun
Clear 25 survival quests in one game
Craft all items in one game
Craft all the weapons in one game
Crystallize and break 30 zombies in one game
Survive 10 days
Use the slippery slide to land in the kiddie pool
Eat 50 food items in one game
Hit 5 zombies in one bullet dive
Beat the whiplash course without getting wet
Paraglide in the air for 1 minute
Hit 4 at once with a voodoo bomb
Make the stew taste as good as HUMANLY possible
Play GoatSimSim for 5 minutes
Place a Hogtied NPC on the train tracks and wait for the train to arrive.
Find all the trophies on the Payday Level.
Just finish that one LAST job.
Enable the hydraulic cars.
Use a cannon to travel to the Island in the Sky.
Show off your vehicle air control skills in the desert.
Listen to the whole pan flute song.
A Trip to the Moon.
Gather the crew for some drive-in movies.
Wear 30 masks at once.
Win 3 hands at a Blackjack table.
Use Dolph Spaghetti to lift a crewmember on top of the tallest building.
Lick all crew members together to form a Goatipede.
Shoot down 30 police ships.
Destroy all freighters
Blow up all pirate ships
Tag 10 walls.
Find all the pony horses.
Gather $1000000
Find all collectibles
Complete test chambers.
Visit the badehaus.
Headbutt all alien eggs
Pickup a photon sword as father or good goat.
Run wild with the Podrunner.