Full list of all 85 Goat Simulator achievements worth 2,375 gamerscore. It takes around 4-5 hours to unlock all of the achievements in the base game.
The base game contains 30 achievements worth 1,000 Gamerscore, and there are 4 DLC packs containing 55 achievements worth 1,375 Gamerscore.
Finish all manual quests
Sacrifice the 3 Sanctum items
Buy all hats
Go on the catapult with a rider on your back
I'm Sorry About My Goat Achievement
Have 10 gas cannisters explode at the same time
Bounce 100 times on mattresses within 30 seconds
Ride a bike for 60 sec
Score 10 points in Flappy Goat
Find all collectibles on level 7
Lick the rollercoaster with 6 batteries attached
Find all the blocks
Fight the turtles
Why did you step in that? Yuck
Get up on the skyscraper without using the elevator
Hold your own concert
Find all the trophies in Goat Ville!
Thrash the Goathenge
Win the title bout!
Everything the light touches is your kingdom.
Visit 5 trampolines in one jump, bouncing on each trampoline once.
Lick the Hanging Glider.
Do no evil
We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell
Become the Queen of Goat Ville
Travel to space!
Make sure the Hillbilly never drives again.
Hit the party with the Boulder of Death
Find the Sanctum 2 Walker Statue
Find the Sanctum 1 Walker Statue
Visit all zones on the MMO level
Trash the server room
It never erupts when you want it to.
Unlock the wheel of time mutator
Jump on the launchpad
Unlock the mermaid mutator
Do a card trick at the magician
Get deviously trapped again
Find all the trophies on the MMO Level.
OMG IS THAT WHAT I THINK IT IS?
Jörgen
Unlock the gravity goat mutator
Unlock the ExcaliGoat mutator
Baa with the choir
Enjoy your trip
Do a lot of hurt. With your butt.
Kill 7 zombies with one minifun
Clear 25 survival quests in one game
Hit 5 zombies in one bullet dive
Paraglide in the air for 1 minute
Hit 4 at once with a voodoo bomb
Use the slippery slide to land in the kiddie pool
Beat the whiplash course without getting wet
Crystallize and break 30 zombies in one game
Eat 50 food items in one game
Play GoatSimSim for 5 minutes
Make the stew taste as good as HUMANLY possible
Craft all items in one game
Craft all the weapons in one game
Survive 10 days
Wear 30 masks at once.
Just finish that one LAST job.
Place a Hogtied NPC on the train tracks and wait for the train to arrive.
Find all the trophies on the Payday Level.
Listen to the whole pan flute song.
Use a cannon to travel to the Island in the Sky.
Win 3 hands at a Blackjack table.
A Trip to the Moon.
Show off your vehicle air control skills in the desert.
Gather the crew for some drive-in movies.
Enable the hydraulic cars.
Lick all crew members together to form a Goatipede.
Use Dolph Spaghetti to lift a crewmember on top of the tallest building.
Find all collectibles
Complete test chambers.
Gather $1000000
Find all the pony horses.
Blow up all pirate ships
Shoot down 30 police ships.
Destroy all freighters
Tag 10 walls.
Pickup a photon sword as father or good goat.
Visit the badehaus.
Run wild with the Podrunner.
Headbutt all alien eggs