Full list of all 85 Goat Simulator achievements worth 2,375 gamerscore. It takes around 4-5 hours to unlock all of the achievements in the base game.
The base game contains 30 achievements worth 1,000 Gamerscore, and there are 4 DLC packs containing 55 achievements worth 1,375 Gamerscore.
Find all collectibles on level 7
Buy all hats
Go on the catapult with a rider on your back
I'm Sorry About My Goat Achievement
Lick the rollercoaster with 6 batteries attached
Find all the blocks
Fight the turtles
Why did you step in that? Yuck
Hold your own concert
Get up on the skyscraper without using the elevator
Find all the trophies in Goat Ville!
Ride a bike for 60 sec
Finish all manual quests
Visit 5 trampolines in one jump, bouncing on each trampoline once.
Bounce 100 times on mattresses within 30 seconds
Everything the light touches is your kingdom.
Lick the Hanging Glider.
Travel to space!
Sacrifice the 3 Sanctum items
Find the Sanctum 2 Walker Statue
Find the Sanctum 1 Walker Statue
Have 10 gas cannisters explode at the same time
Win the title bout!
Thrash the Goathenge
Do no evil
Make sure the Hillbilly never drives again.
Hit the party with the Boulder of Death
We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell
Become the Queen of Goat Ville
Score 10 points in Flappy Goat
Find all the trophies on the MMO Level.
Trash the server room
It never erupts when you want it to.
Visit all zones on the MMO level
Do a card trick at the magician
OMG IS THAT WHAT I THINK IT IS?
Get deviously trapped again
Jump on the launchpad
Unlock the gravity goat mutator
Unlock the mermaid mutator
Unlock the ExcaliGoat mutator
Enjoy your trip
Do a lot of hurt. With your butt.
Unlock the wheel of time mutator
Baa with the choir
Jörgen
Crystallize and break 30 zombies in one game
Kill 7 zombies with one minifun
Hit 5 zombies in one bullet dive
Craft all items in one game
Craft all the weapons in one game
Survive 10 days
Clear 25 survival quests in one game
Eat 50 food items in one game
Hit 4 at once with a voodoo bomb
Paraglide in the air for 1 minute
Use the slippery slide to land in the kiddie pool
Beat the whiplash course without getting wet
Make the stew taste as good as HUMANLY possible
Play GoatSimSim for 5 minutes
Place a Hogtied NPC on the train tracks and wait for the train to arrive.
Find all the trophies on the Payday Level.
Use a cannon to travel to the Island in the Sky.
Win 3 hands at a Blackjack table.
Just finish that one LAST job.
Wear 30 masks at once.
Listen to the whole pan flute song.
Show off your vehicle air control skills in the desert.
A Trip to the Moon.
Gather the crew for some drive-in movies.
Enable the hydraulic cars.
Lick all crew members together to form a Goatipede.
Use Dolph Spaghetti to lift a crewmember on top of the tallest building.
Headbutt all alien eggs
Pickup a photon sword as father or good goat.
Destroy all freighters
Blow up all pirate ships
Shoot down 30 police ships.
Find all collectibles
Gather $1000000
Find all the pony horses.
Complete test chambers.
Run wild with the Podrunner
Visit the badehaus.
Tag 10 walls.