Full list of all 85 Goat Simulator achievements worth 2,375 gamerscore. It takes around 4-5 hours to unlock all of the achievements in the base game.
The base game contains 30 achievements worth 1,000 Gamerscore, and there are 4 DLC packs containing 55 achievements worth 1,375 Gamerscore.
Bounce 100 times on mattresses within 30 seconds
Find all the trophies in Goat Ville!
Find all the blocks
Buy all hats
Fight the turtles
Why did you step in that? Yuck
Go on the catapult with a rider on your back
I'm Sorry About My Goat Achievement
Lick the rollercoaster with 6 batteries attached
Hold your own concert
Get up on the skyscraper without using the elevator
Finish all manual quests
Ride a bike for 60 sec
Everything the light touches is your kingdom.
Sacrifice the 3 Sanctum items
Win the title bout!
Thrash the Goathenge
Do no evil
Visit 5 trampolines in one jump, bouncing on each trampoline once.
Find the Sanctum 1 Walker Statue
Have 10 gas cannisters explode at the same time
Lick the Hanging Glider.
Travel to space!
Make sure the Hillbilly never drives again.
We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell
Hit the party with the Boulder of Death
Find the Sanctum 2 Walker Statue
Become the Queen of Goat Ville
Score 10 points in Flappy Goat
Find all collectibles on level 7
Get deviously trapped again
Find all the trophies on the MMO Level.
Unlock the mermaid mutator
OMG IS THAT WHAT I THINK IT IS?
Unlock the gravity goat mutator
Visit all zones on the MMO level
Unlock the wheel of time mutator
It never erupts when you want it to.
Trash the server room
Unlock the ExcaliGoat mutator
Baa with the choir
Enjoy your trip
Jörgen
Do a card trick at the magician
Jump on the launchpad
Do a lot of hurt. With your butt.
Paraglide in the air for 1 minute
Make the stew taste as good as HUMANLY possible
Kill 7 zombies with one minifun
Play GoatSimSim for 5 minutes
Beat the whiplash course without getting wet
Use the slippery slide to land in the kiddie pool
Survive 10 days
Clear 25 survival quests in one game
Eat 50 food items in one game
Hit 5 zombies in one bullet dive
Hit 4 at once with a voodoo bomb
Crystallize and break 30 zombies in one game
Craft all items in one game
Craft all the weapons in one game
Wear 30 masks at once.
Use a cannon to travel to the Island in the Sky.
Listen to the whole pan flute song.
Gather the crew for some drive-in movies.
Lick all crew members together to form a Goatipede.
Use Dolph Spaghetti to lift a crewmember on top of the tallest building.
Enable the hydraulic cars.
Show off your vehicle air control skills in the desert.
A Trip to the Moon.
Win 3 hands at a Blackjack table.
Just finish that one LAST job.
Find all the trophies on the Payday Level.
Place a Hogtied NPC on the train tracks and wait for the train to arrive.
Find all the pony horses.
Visit the badehaus.
Tag 10 walls.
Pickup a photon sword as father or good goat.
Destroy all freighters
Blow up all pirate ships
Shoot down 30 police ships.
Headbutt all alien eggs
Find all collectibles
Gather $1000000
Complete test chambers.
Run wild with the Podrunner