Full list of all 85 Goat Simulator achievements worth 2,375 gamerscore. It takes around 4-5 hours to unlock all of the achievements in the base game.
The base game contains 30 achievements worth 1,000 Gamerscore, and there are 4 DLC packs containing 55 achievements worth 1,375 Gamerscore.
Ride a bike for 60 sec
Go on the catapult with a rider on your back
Find all the trophies in Goat Ville!
Finish all manual quests
Visit 5 trampolines in one jump, bouncing on each trampoline once.
Lick the Hanging Glider.
Sacrifice the 3 Sanctum items
Bounce 100 times on mattresses within 30 seconds
Make sure the Hillbilly never drives again.
Everything the light touches is your kingdom.
Travel to space!
Fight the turtles
Why did you step in that? Yuck
Hold your own concert
Get up on the skyscraper without using the elevator
I'm Sorry About My Goat Achievement
Have 10 gas cannisters explode at the same time
Find the Sanctum 1 Walker Statue
Find the Sanctum 2 Walker Statue
We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell
Thrash the Goathenge
Win the title bout!
Do no evil
Hit the party with the Boulder of Death
Become the Queen of Goat Ville
Score 10 points in Flappy Goat
Find all the blocks
Lick the rollercoaster with 6 batteries attached
Buy all hats
Find all collectibles on level 7
Unlock the wheel of time mutator
Enjoy your trip
Unlock the ExcaliGoat mutator
Get deviously trapped again
Jörgen
Unlock the mermaid mutator
OMG IS THAT WHAT I THINK IT IS?
Baa with the choir
Do a lot of hurt. With your butt.
Unlock the gravity goat mutator
Find all the trophies on the MMO Level.
Jump on the launchpad
Do a card trick at the magician
Visit all zones on the MMO level
It never erupts when you want it to.
Trash the server room
Clear 25 survival quests in one game
Beat the whiplash course without getting wet
Eat 50 food items in one game
Hit 5 zombies in one bullet dive
Paraglide in the air for 1 minute
Play GoatSimSim for 5 minutes
Hit 4 at once with a voodoo bomb
Make the stew taste as good as HUMANLY possible
Crystallize and break 30 zombies in one game
Craft all items in one game
Survive 10 days
Craft all the weapons in one game
Kill 7 zombies with one minifun
Use the slippery slide to land in the kiddie pool
Just finish that one LAST job.
A Trip to the Moon.
Use Dolph Spaghetti to lift a crewmember on top of the tallest building.
Lick all crew members together to form a Goatipede.
Enable the hydraulic cars.
Gather the crew for some drive-in movies.
Show off your vehicle air control skills in the desert.
Win 3 hands at a Blackjack table.
Use a cannon to travel to the Island in the Sky.
Wear 30 masks at once.
Listen to the whole pan flute song.
Find all the trophies on the Payday Level.
Place a Hogtied NPC on the train tracks and wait for the train to arrive.
Pickup a photon sword as father or good goat.
Destroy all freighters
Blow up all pirate ships
Shoot down 30 police ships.
Headbutt all alien eggs
Find all collectibles
Gather $1000000
Find all the pony horses.
Complete test chambers.
Run wild with the Podrunner
Visit the badehaus.
Tag 10 walls.