Full list of all 85 Goat Simulator achievements worth 2,375 gamerscore. It takes around 4-5 hours to unlock all of the achievements in the base game.
The base game contains 30 achievements worth 1,000 Gamerscore, and there are 4 DLC packs containing 55 achievements worth 1,375 Gamerscore.
Ride a bike for 60 sec
Visit 5 trampolines in one jump, bouncing on each trampoline once.
Lick the Hanging Glider.
Make sure the Hillbilly never drives again.
Sacrifice the 3 Sanctum items
Buy all hats
Go on the catapult with a rider on your back
Find all collectibles on level 7
Find all the blocks
Lick the rollercoaster with 6 batteries attached
Fight the turtles
Why did you step in that? Yuck
Hold your own concert
Get up on the skyscraper without using the elevator
I'm Sorry About My Goat Achievement
Find all the trophies in Goat Ville!
Travel to space!
Bounce 100 times on mattresses within 30 seconds
Win the title bout!
We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell
Become the Queen of Goat Ville
Hit the party with the Boulder of Death
Finish all manual quests
Everything the light touches is your kingdom.
Have 10 gas cannisters explode at the same time
Find the Sanctum 1 Walker Statue
Find the Sanctum 2 Walker Statue
Thrash the Goathenge
Do no evil
Score 10 points in Flappy Goat
Unlock the gravity goat mutator
It never erupts when you want it to.
Trash the server room
Get deviously trapped again
Unlock the ExcaliGoat mutator
Do a lot of hurt. With your butt.
Baa with the choir
Find all the trophies on the MMO Level.
Visit all zones on the MMO level
Unlock the wheel of time mutator
OMG IS THAT WHAT I THINK IT IS?
Do a card trick at the magician
Unlock the mermaid mutator
Jump on the launchpad
Jörgen
Enjoy your trip
Craft all items in one game
Hit 5 zombies in one bullet dive
Kill 7 zombies with one minifun
Clear 25 survival quests in one game
Crystallize and break 30 zombies in one game
Craft all the weapons in one game
Survive 10 days
Eat 50 food items in one game
Paraglide in the air for 1 minute
Use the slippery slide to land in the kiddie pool
Hit 4 at once with a voodoo bomb
Make the stew taste as good as HUMANLY possible
Play GoatSimSim for 5 minutes
Beat the whiplash course without getting wet
Find all the trophies on the Payday Level.
Just finish that one LAST job.
Listen to the whole pan flute song.
Enable the hydraulic cars.
Show off your vehicle air control skills in the desert.
A Trip to the Moon.
Place a Hogtied NPC on the train tracks and wait for the train to arrive.
Win 3 hands at a Blackjack table.
Gather the crew for some drive-in movies.
Use a cannon to travel to the Island in the Sky.
Use Dolph Spaghetti to lift a crewmember on top of the tallest building.
Wear 30 masks at once.
Lick all crew members together to form a Goatipede.
Run wild with the Podrunner.
Pickup a photon sword as father or good goat.
Destroy all freighters
Blow up all pirate ships
Shoot down 30 police ships.
Headbutt all alien eggs
Find all collectibles
Gather $1000000
Find all the pony horses.
Complete test chambers.
Visit the badehaus.
Tag 10 walls.