Full list of all 85 Goat Simulator achievements worth 2,375 gamerscore. It takes around 4-5 hours to unlock all of the achievements in the base game.
The base game contains 30 achievements worth 1,000 Gamerscore, and there are 4 DLC packs containing 55 achievements worth 1,375 Gamerscore.
Find all collectibles on level 7
Score 10 points in Flappy Goat
Buy all hats
Find all the blocks
Lick the rollercoaster with 6 batteries attached
Go on the catapult with a rider on your back
Visit 5 trampolines in one jump, bouncing on each trampoline once.
Fight the turtles
Why did you step in that? Yuck
I'm Sorry About My Goat Achievement
Hold your own concert
Get up on the skyscraper without using the elevator
Find all the trophies in Goat Ville!
Bounce 100 times on mattresses within 30 seconds
Lick the Hanging Glider.
Sacrifice the 3 Sanctum items
Find the Sanctum 1 Walker Statue
Everything the light touches is your kingdom.
Find the Sanctum 2 Walker Statue
Have 10 gas cannisters explode at the same time
Travel to space!
Ride a bike for 60 sec
We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell
Win the title bout!
Thrash the Goathenge
Finish all manual quests
Make sure the Hillbilly never drives again.
Do no evil
Hit the party with the Boulder of Death
Become the Queen of Goat Ville
Find all the trophies on the MMO Level.
Trash the server room
Unlock the wheel of time mutator
It never erupts when you want it to.
Visit all zones on the MMO level
OMG IS THAT WHAT I THINK IT IS?
Jörgen
Jump on the launchpad
Unlock the ExcaliGoat mutator
Enjoy your trip
Unlock the gravity goat mutator
Get deviously trapped again
Do a card trick at the magician
Baa with the choir
Unlock the mermaid mutator
Do a lot of hurt. With your butt.
Craft all items in one game
Crystallize and break 30 zombies in one game
Eat 50 food items in one game
Hit 4 at once with a voodoo bomb
Clear 25 survival quests in one game
Hit 5 zombies in one bullet dive
Kill 7 zombies with one minifun
Craft all the weapons in one game
Beat the whiplash course without getting wet
Use the slippery slide to land in the kiddie pool
Paraglide in the air for 1 minute
Play GoatSimSim for 5 minutes
Survive 10 days
Make the stew taste as good as HUMANLY possible
Just finish that one LAST job.
Place a Hogtied NPC on the train tracks and wait for the train to arrive.
Wear 30 masks at once.
Show off your vehicle air control skills in the desert.
Listen to the whole pan flute song.
A Trip to the Moon.
Gather the crew for some drive-in movies.
Use a cannon to travel to the Island in the Sky.
Find all the trophies on the Payday Level.
Enable the hydraulic cars.
Use Dolph Spaghetti to lift a crewmember on top of the tallest building.
Lick all crew members together to form a Goatipede.
Win 3 hands at a Blackjack table.
Find all collectibles
Gather $1000000
Find all the pony horses.
Complete test chambers.
Shoot down 30 police ships.
Blow up all pirate ships
Destroy all freighters
Visit the badehaus.
Tag 10 walls.
Headbutt all alien eggs
Run wild with the Podrunner.
Pickup a photon sword as father or good goat.