Full list of all 85 Goat Simulator achievements worth 2,375 gamerscore. It takes around 4-5 hours to unlock all of the achievements in the base game.
The base game contains 30 achievements worth 1,000 Gamerscore, and there are 4 DLC packs containing 55 achievements worth 1,375 Gamerscore.
Buy all hats
Go on the catapult with a rider on your back
Finish all manual quests
I'm Sorry About My Goat Achievement
Lick the rollercoaster with 6 batteries attached
Find all the blocks
Hold your own concert
Get up on the skyscraper without using the elevator
Find all the trophies in Goat Ville!
Find all collectibles on level 7
Fight the turtles
Why did you step in that? Yuck
Ride a bike for 60 sec
Thrash the Goathenge
Score 10 points in Flappy Goat
Bounce 100 times on mattresses within 30 seconds
Sacrifice the 3 Sanctum items
Everything the light touches is your kingdom.
Win the title bout!
Visit 5 trampolines in one jump, bouncing on each trampoline once.
Find the Sanctum 1 Walker Statue
Travel to space!
Have 10 gas cannisters explode at the same time
Lick the Hanging Glider.
Do no evil
Make sure the Hillbilly never drives again.
Hit the party with the Boulder of Death
We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell
Become the Queen of Goat Ville
Find the Sanctum 2 Walker Statue
Do a card trick at the magician
Visit all zones on the MMO level
Unlock the wheel of time mutator
It never erupts when you want it to.
Trash the server room
Get deviously trapped again
Jump on the launchpad
Unlock the mermaid mutator
Find all the trophies on the MMO Level.
OMG IS THAT WHAT I THINK IT IS?
Jörgen
Unlock the gravity goat mutator
Unlock the ExcaliGoat mutator
Baa with the choir
Enjoy your trip
Do a lot of hurt. With your butt.
Kill 7 zombies with one minifun
Craft all items in one game
Craft all the weapons in one game
Clear 25 survival quests in one game
Eat 50 food items in one game
Survive 10 days
Crystallize and break 30 zombies in one game
Hit 4 at once with a voodoo bomb
Make the stew taste as good as HUMANLY possible
Play GoatSimSim for 5 minutes
Hit 5 zombies in one bullet dive
Paraglide in the air for 1 minute
Beat the whiplash course without getting wet
Use the slippery slide to land in the kiddie pool
Place a Hogtied NPC on the train tracks and wait for the train to arrive.
Show off your vehicle air control skills in the desert.
Enable the hydraulic cars.
Use Dolph Spaghetti to lift a crewmember on top of the tallest building.
Gather the crew for some drive-in movies.
Lick all crew members together to form a Goatipede.
Wear 30 masks at once.
Win 3 hands at a Blackjack table.
Just finish that one LAST job.
A Trip to the Moon.
Find all the trophies on the Payday Level.
Use a cannon to travel to the Island in the Sky.
Listen to the whole pan flute song.
Find all collectibles
Gather $1000000
Shoot down 30 police ships.
Destroy all freighters
Blow up all pirate ships
Complete test chambers.
Visit the badehaus.
Find all the pony horses.
Headbutt all alien eggs
Tag 10 walls.
Pickup a photon sword as father or good goat.
Run wild with the Podrunner.