Like many readers, I'm a lifelong gamer. I've played games since they were loaded off cassette tapes, 5 1/4" floppy discs, and 4k cartridges, so my experiences are all over the place. While younger gamers today fondly reflect on their childhood GameCube or Playstation 2, the generation gap really only affects what games we get nostalgic over, and not whether we have moments where the past takes over the present. Part of my childhood involved playing adventure games - from Zork and Pirate Adventure to the Sierra "Quest" series and LucasArts' excellent SCUMM-engine titles. Unfortunately, it also included Leisure Suit Larry.
Fans of Leisure Suit Larry are an odd bunch, those willing to trade hours of Three's Company-level madcap "comedy" for the brief chance to see a pixelated side-boob. In the old days, that meant you were willing to reload a game save after being unceremoniously ran over in the street by a passing car, and all because you had the unmitigated gall to walk into the street. The horror! Recent fans of the series may recall the highest sexual content ever in the Xbox/Ps2 Larry Laffer game "Magna Cum Laude", which threw the gamer through college shenanigans with weird minigames, but resulted in some pretty racy results. Unfortunately for all those who enjoy seeing digital nakedness, Box Office Bust has all of the cheesy dialogue and goofy plot devices without any of the M-rated end results.
For many of you, that last line made your decision easy - no boobs, no bucks. I can understand that, but in an age where sexual content is a Google search away, playing the game for its own sake might be worth doing, right? Yeah... no. It's rare that I call a game out for being broken, but this is that game. What is essentially a sophmoric "comedy" romp styled after open-world quest-based games (call it a pubescent Woody Allen's answer to Grand Theft Auto) has none of the style or innovation other similar games have offered. What's more (or less, if you prefer), it has all the features of the worst third-person games - awful control, horrific camera angles, and unplayable challenges. So why would I put myself through this mess?
Call it nostalgia. Larry Laffer was my Hugh Hefner, the nerdy guy who shouldn't be surrounded by busty women, but he somehow managed. I've played through some or all of most of these stupid games, and even though the games no longer benefit from original creator Al Lowe's watchful eye, I've still returned again and again, only to be disappointed. Some might argue I'm playing just for the titillation, and there's some truth to that. With very few mature titles that feature sexual situations (and so many that specialize in violence), I want to support those that try... even if they nearly always fail to provide much fun or sexuality.
Box Office Bust features some of the worst character renderings I've ever seen in a next-generation title, with horribly ugly characters mouthing nonsensical dialogue to further a stupid story. Larry's endgame is consistent - he wants to get down with the ladies - but in this iteration, his journey starts in a Universal Studios-style backlot, and ends with mindless golf cart races and jumping on ledges for collectibles. The races and other mini-games provide some variety to what is otherwise a completely forgettable gameplay experience, but that's not to say they're fun. "But Sonic," you say, "there must be some redeeming quality to this game!" Well, I suppose every game has its audience... Box Office Bust will be huge in the circle of gamers who love to stick pencils in their eyeballs. I'm not recommending that, of course, but it might make the awful 3D models somewhat less... visible.
There are a few positives to LSL:BOB... the first being its bargain price. After the game was half-cancelled, then shelved, CodeMasters dropped it on the unsuspecting public for a mere $19.99. That's right, for a few more dollars than seeing a 3D IMAX movie, you could do something that made you wish you'd gone to a 3D IMAX movie instead. Of course, the game is less than ten bucks used now, so gamers will make the plunge, and I can't stop them. For those scamps who don't believe me when I say there's no nudity and little sex in this game, you can at least look forward to hearing the sultry Shannon Elizabeth's voice... and if you're into older men, Hollywood names Jeffrey Tambor and Jay Mohr voice other characters. Jay Mohr is at his annoying best, proving that when you want somebody to hate, Jay Mohr is that guy. Of course his sitcom bombed, nobody wants to like Jay after years of playing this type of scumbag.
Finally, Box Office Bust does feature some cool quest designs. Because the player is on a Hollywood lot, he must maneuver through several movies (in elaborate, stupid dream sequences) that provide the only memorable moments in the game. However, the game designers failed to front-load the better sequences, so you have to suffer the madness of the Wild West and Horror dreamscapes before enjoying the much more entertaining Bytanic dreamscape. Enterprising gamers who ignore my advice and play the game will likely agree - Bytanic is the most fun you'll have in the game, and you can only reach it after hours of poking through bad mechanics and awful camera angles. Yay!
Some of you will play the game simply to grab the achievements, and there are typically stupid goals like "Wear all costumes in one mission" for Suits You Sir and "Reach the highest point in Laffer Studio" for Broadcasting on Top of the World. If you play this game for the achievements, don't try to reach the full 1000 GS... I beg you. You will hate... HATE... trying to jump for all of the collectible Larry Awards, and the speed-run (under 8 hours) is both incredibly difficult and aggressively un-fun. You have a better way to spend your time than leaping on top of buildings and blazing through story missions, trust me. Clean your garage, it's a fire hazard. Pet your cat, wash your dog, write a series of haiku about "How I Met Your Mother," just don't spend your time trying to get 1000 GS in Leisure Suit Larry: Box Office Bust.
In the end, I'm not glad I played Box Office Bust. Sure, I got some Gamerscore and kept my Larry streak intact, but at what cost? My nostalgia for Larry Laffer has faded almost completely after this abortion of poor design choices and worse programming. There are too many good games out there to waste your time with Box Office Bust... and if the game part isn't what you're looking for, there's always Google and old-school Skinemax. Now there's some nostalgia I wouldn't mind revisiting.
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