Hi there, Hunter the professional game critic here; back again with another professional review.
So one day I said to myself "I kinda want to play an overhyped piece of garbage like The Last of Us" and then...my prayer was answered. Life Is Strange is classified as 'character focused' kinda like Gone Home is classified as an 'adventure' game. Its borderline false advertising but hey, Im not gonna stop them. The Characters
The characters are the most amazing part of the game. Nothing anyone does makes sense. Like there is a part where a girl gets locked inside her own dorm room. So *drum roll* its time to play What The Hell Is Going On Here?
A. The writers have no idea how doors work.
B. The characters don't know how doors work.
Or is it
C. The game does this to make you go on some bullshit meaningless task sheerly for filler content.
The characters are the essence of the story right? I mean we have Victoria who is a bitch sheerly to be a bitch. We have Justin(This guy is so lame that I forgot his name) that runs the school and just walks around with a gun while nobody questions it. All of the characters are extremely forgettable. I was playing Episode 5 and was on the plane and I just assumed that the guy sitting next to me was some random bald black guy. Nope, it was actually the principal. You know its bad if I mistake the principal for some random bald black guy. There are also more side characters with less substance than my bowl of cereal I had this morning.The Story
If you thought the story would be any better than the characters in it, then you need to rethink your life. Max(the main character)gets time rewind powers. No context, no "this person gets powers for this contrived reason". Im struggling to make witty satire because everything about this game is sooooo BORING. The story is about Max and her friend, Chloe doing the most riveting tasks. Tasks such as wandering a barren junk yard to find bottles to shoot, going swimming in the school pool, and going to the diner to eat. The game literally involves you in such a meaningless task such as picking what you want to eat. Then the game has the gall to tell you that "your choices matter" and "there will be consequences". So tell me how picking the pancakes over the bacon affects my story. No really, tell me what that bullshit choice has anything to do with anything. "Huh maybe if I get the bacon instead, *insert side character here* won't die because I got a good serving of protein this morning".The Dialogue
This is the biggest travesty in the history of videogames(aside from lootboxes, paid dlc, cut content to resell later, pre-order culture, and collectors editions of games that dont come with the actual game). The dialogue is ridiculously bad. Coming from someone that is 18, the characters sound nothing like actual teenagers at all. I knew I was in for a treat when in the first 5 minutes of the game some one says "now you are stuck in the retrozone. Sadface." Nobody fucking does that. Nobody says "sadface" in a verbal conversation. Its like the 50 year old executives said "Whats hip with the kids today? I know, emojis". Too bad none of them got the memo that emojis are for texting and not for verbal communication. You might think Im cherry picking but no, A L L of the dialogue is like this. There is another insightful line about guns "I belive in gun control, I believe I should be the one controlling the gun". What a good way to frame a polarizing issue in American society today. There is another scene (which is arguably the funniest part of the game)where Chloe being the intellectual she is shoots a car, the bullet ricochets back and hits her. Max then says "stupid gun". Yes blame the gun when Chloe was the one fucking around in the first place. None of the dialogue or writing or characters make any sense at all.The Music
The OST isn't much better than the rest of the game. The score consists of shitty pretentious melancholy guitar songs. Thats it. Since this section would be too short otherwise, let me explain how badly the score is used. At the end of each episode there is this shitty montage shot where it shows all the characters going about their lives, and the game uses the music to try to coax an emotion out of you. I hate when music is used in a really condesending way to tell the audience how they should feel. Like I dont find anything sad about Chloe's dad cleaning the gutters (yes they actually show him cleaning the gutters in one of these montages).
In conclusion, its bad, its all bad. I know this is a more serious review compared to my other reviews that have satire oozing from the mouth. There is just not many places to make jokes here, the game itself is the joke. Apparently Im the only one on the planet that actually knows that it is a joke. This game is often compared to The Walking Dead and I can see why. They follow a similar gameplay loop but the difference is one is good and one is not so good. One has interesting characters that make me care about what is going on, and the other has 'bitchy teen girl character' and 'random teacher that looks like a pedo'. This game is probably best played drunk and with a few friends. You could make a lot of drinking games out of this; here I will make some right now.
Take a shot everytime someone says some cringy dialogue
Take a shot whenever the characters do something dumb
Take a shot whenever Chloe uses the term "hella"(only strongest livers recommended for this one)
Take a shot everytime Chloe uses the term "stepdouche" or any other variance of "stepdad"
Post Edit February 22, 2019: I know it's been a while since I wrote this but I was browsing the internet and came across a youtube video with this comment. All I have to say is that I warned you that it was for strong livers only...