Space Giraffe Reviews

  • Brooklyn GinBrooklyn Gin464,149
    27 Sep 2012
    19 6 7
    You know what? I don't write reviews. I don't have the patience to write a well crafted explanation of a games basic story out line, game play mechanics, graphics, sound and achievement difficulty. I have read enough poor reviews done by other people to know that ranting on a game doesn't count as a review.

    I fired up Space Giraffe for the first time in ages to see if I could make any more progression into the game. After playing for 15 mins I had gone up from level 24 to 25 (100 levels total) to which I gave up before I threw my controller at the T.V.

    Space Giraffe is a rail based shooter space invaders type game, similar in vein to Tempest 2000 of Atari Jaguar days. You have to shoot 'things' coming towards you while bulling off enemies who get to your last line of defense (as long as you have some 'power zone' left). What makes it confusing as hell as that through the muddle of background lights (similar to the Xbox music visualization screen) and sheer insanity of the vector graphics and small objects means that you cant see what the hell is going on. Which leads to frustration. You really cant see what the fuck is going on. Maybe taking acid might clear it up, but that's not the way I game. The game is supposed to encourage you to listen to the sounds to know what is going on, and it does work in parts however I end up just stumbling around dying. Often.

    Achievements are hard as hell, prob due to the patience of a saint required. Overall I'm writing this as a warning that this game truly is a confusing piece of shit and easily my most regrettable game to have started on my gamer card. I'm prob going to get heaped with neg vots for this rant, but If it stops one person from buying this game I consider it worth it.
    .5
    Showing all 7 comments.
    South Park TFBWHaha love this review xD
    Posted by South Park TFBW On 01 Oct 12 at 23:16
    Brooklyn GinHa ha cheers man. I cant write reviews and I respect people who write great ones, but after playing this game again I immediately had to write a review to warn people to stay away from Space Giraffe. Even my flatmate (who is a gamer) saw what I was playing as he walked past and the first words he said was "what the fuck is that shit?" Says it all really.
    Posted by Brooklyn Gin On 01 Oct 12 at 23:27
    WoodlandSpiritAt the time I was sort of in the crowd of the developer and friends of this game, got caught up in all the excitement of it's release, bought, played and forgot about. Some time pass, no longer really part of the crowd anymore, fire up the game and then it hits me... my god this game is a total mess! Is a shame as mister Minter does have some decent games to his name, really not sure what he was trying to achieve with this one.
    Posted by WoodlandSpirit On 13 Oct 12 at 23:29
    Tully123This is the gaming equivalent of marmite. You either love it or hate it, you either "get" it or you don't. For me, it is in no way a terrible game. The mechanics are extremely solid and in my opinion, when your eyes and ears are able to work in harmony it is glorious. You are forced to rely on both. Sure, it will trip up many who can't deal with the psychedelic colours but if you persist you will eventually be able to overcome them.

    I used to die all the time when I first played it, I even dismissed it to a degree, as you have done. It was only when I came back to it several years later and knuckled down to complete it, that I began to warm to it. So much so, that if I were to review it now, my score would be closer to 5. It's a different game, it's out there. Maybe the mechanics could have been explained better (they are in the PC version), however, any of it's faults are minor in the grand scheme of things.

    It's worth a try, at the very least.
    Posted by Tully123 On 25 Nov 12 at 07:34
    Brooklyn GinWhile I agree that it is a polarizing game I still stand by my thoughts that its a frustrating game to play. If the game didn't have the murky background it would probably be more enjoyable. I see that you have completed it, well done! However I feel that the average gamer would not be willing to put up with the confusing game play and, still IMO terrible graphics. I like the concept of needing sound sound to pick up the nuances but you should still be able to see what is going on. Perhaps if the game was bought closer to the edge of the screen it might be easier to see, and I play on a 46"! I guess we are going to have to sit on opposite sides of the spectrum with this one as I'm going to stand by my score on one star.
    Posted by Brooklyn Gin On 02 Dec 12 at 05:34
    TitleInLargeI saw this game as suggested by the xbox dashboard today, saw the preview images and was turned off immediatly. I thought that the title "Giraffe" sounded promising and luring as I LOVE giraffes :P but no... I have to agree with you here. Its like someone drank oil mixed with fruit pastels and farted out galactic diarrhoea all over your eye balls. One thing bugged me to death the most during my demo and youtube experience, WHERE THE HELL ARE THE GIRAFFES!?!?
    Posted by TitleInLarge On 21 May 14 at 13:27
    ArcCscdon't stare at the background...focus on the web (the actual level)
    Posted by ArcCsc On 18 Oct 14 at 23:49