- Daddy Gotta Eat!
Instead of feeding the poor, feed Gail's roommate in under 5 minutes!
- Here's Donny!
Witness Donny's death, then write an essay about it for your college application.
- That went well...
Glorkon mixed the world! What they get an achievement for that? But it’s just a cut scene!
- No Winners In This Game!
Beat Glorkon without getting killed by anyone... Including me. That’s right, I’ve been hunting you.
- Final Upgrade!
You got the final upgrade! You're all sticky, like a popsicle stick!
- Really? This Game's Not That Good
Replay the game, instead of getting a real job.
- Trover ****s the Universe
You beat the game! You can die a happy now, you slimy, little popsicle stick.
- BBALL IN THE BBALL HOLE
IT'S BBALL TIME! MAKE ONE BBALL BASKET IN THE TELEPOD LIKE A GOOD LITTLE BBALL BOY OR BBALL GIRL!
- Bet You Can't Make 100
You made 10 baskets, now make 100! Come on, what else do you gotta do today?
- You Actually Did It?!
What the hell is the matter with you?! You actually made 100 baskets?! What are you a sociopath?!
- You Didn't Have To Do That
You killed a NPC. That’s gonna affect the whole game! Your actions have consequences in this game!
- Worst Guest Ever
You did it! You killed every killable NPC! You're certified, psychopathic killer!
- The Ultimate Happy Ending
Collect all Power Babies in the game. Then prepare to have your shnudler ringled!
Jopo Saves the Universe
- Let's Sling These Babies!
You collected all the rare power babies! Let’s sell ‘em on my boy, T-Ham's Etsy account!
- Gorbin's Lil' Hole Slammer
You got the high score in Space Slam, and my wife isn't dead! We're slaying it!
- Be Kind Rewind
You watched a VCR tape! Was the clue clear enough for you? God forbid you figure it out yourself!