CompleteKurisu's Blog - Jan to Mar 18 (11 followers)
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Feb
12
PermalinkBad news and good news.
Bad news first. My gaming time will be very much limited for the next couple of months, and achievement hunting will have to wait for a while.

The good news is why that is the case. My employer is paying for me to take some coding courses to improve my usefulness around the office. That will mean I will be spending a lot of time over the next couple of months studying in my spare time, since for me, coding is something I never really did much of before and I am not sure how steep the learning curve will be, so I want to get it right and not be a disappointment.

I am looking to move up in the world a little bit.

Could this mean I am replacing a recreational screen time addiction with a work addiction? Perhaps.

Well, I will still do some gaming on the weekends, but M-F will be a lot of work time for me for the next couple of months. I am not giving up the exercise, either.

Yikes, I may be turning into a responsible adult. >_<
Posted by CompleteKurisu on 12 February 18 at 20:27 | There are 3 comments on this blog post - Please log in to comment on this blog.
Feb
01
PermalinkBiting the 4K bullet.
My 32" 1080p TV died four days ago. Luckily, I have been putting aside an emergency fund by throwing $100 from every paycheck behind a glass window. I only had to spend $400 yesterday to get a LG 49" 4K smart TV. I do not have an XBox One X yet, as that was not nearly as pressing as replacing the only TV set I own.

So..... I still am exercising 20 minutes for every hour I spend gaming. I was super sore the first week. Now I am starting to get used to it and I am tempted to kick up the exercise a couple of notches, but knowing myself, I run the risk of burning out and giving up after trying too damn hard.

I will say that Fallout 4 looks considerably nicer on my new screen, though. :) Hell, Clicker Heroes looks considerably nicer on my new screen, as well, and it is very sad that was one of the first games I tried out on it.
Posted by CompleteKurisu on 01 February 18 at 20:37 | There are no comments on this blog - Please log in to comment on this blog.
Jan
29
PermalinkI will not be doing any sessions for a while.
Taking care of my depression has become my number one priority at this point in my life. That means spending a lot less time isolating with my Xbox and a lot more meetings, more trips to the library and the gym, more social nights out of my apartment, and more listening to what my doctors tell me instead of putting all of it off out of laziness.

I am not going to rely on medications alone to get me out of this.

Basically, the pursuit of happiness is taking me in other directions now.

What I was missing for many years was a sense of direction. Now I think I am starting to figure that part out. Games are fun for recreation, but they also can be used as a form of both isolation and medication. Kinda the same way that watching TV can be abused.

So, that is where I am at today. I also am recovering from a flu bug and I had to take a couple of days off work, so I am pretty annoyed about that.

Not sure what else to add to this. I just am trying to find a healthier relationship with myself and the world around me.

Thanks for reading.
Posted by CompleteKurisu on 29 January 18 at 05:41 | There are 3 comments on this blog post - Please log in to comment on this blog.
Jan
22
PermalinkA newer, healthier gaming goal.
I implemented this a couple of days ago, and so far it is working out well for me.

For every hour I spend gaming, net surfing or watching television, I spend 20 minutes doing physical activity.

I also placed a boundary around those activities by stating that there will be no gaming/TV/Internet unless my apartment is cleaned up to my satisfaction.

Yeah, I am pretty much being my own parent now. Lovely.

At least my YMCA membership and my Dance Dance Revolution mat for the PS2 (which I can use ANY time of the day because I live on the bottom floor) will be getting a lot of use in the upcoming days. :)

All of this was suggested by my doctor, and I agree, it all sounds quite reasonable.

Besides, I really do want to lose a few inches off my waistline before my romantic getaway vacation in August. That will not happen if I spend all of my time being sedentary.

Basically, I spent four hours playing my XBox yesterday, and I followed that up with an hour of high-intensity DDR on the PS2 and a trip to the YMCA to do some sets of upper body weights. My upper body is very sore right now. But it will be worth it a couple of months from now.

I am starting to feel a significant lift in my mood already.
Posted by CompleteKurisu on 22 January 18 at 21:48 | There are 4 comments on this blog post - Please log in to comment on this blog.
Jan
19
PermalinkWell, it is time for me to re-evaluate my priorities.
I was diagnosed with something today that I had suspected for a while - clinical depression.

Spending too much time on the Internet, spending too much time on Clicker Heroes, spending too much time seeking out external validation, spending too much time zoning out and trying not to feel much of anything, and that is not how a man is supposed to be living his life.

So, the only thing I really have to change in my life at this point is everything. I need to step my game up at my job. I need to get outside more and spend time with real people more often. I need to do everything the doctor suggests I do instead of putting it off.

Really, I was using gaming as a medication/distraction. Which is not what gaming is supposed to be used for at all.

I'm not giving up the Xbox yet. But I will be working on having a healthier relationship with gaming. And with myself, in general.

The last thing I want is more of the same, so I have the motivation to do what needs to be done this time.

So, that is where I am at now. Many of you have probably noticed that I have a tendency to create lofty and somewhat unrealistic goals for myself and then take them down after I get ridiculously far behind on them. That is a habit I need to cut out of my life. I should be allowing myself to be human, with human limits.

Not sure what else to add to this posting. Thanks for reading.
Posted by CompleteKurisu on 19 January 18 at 21:42 | There are 3 comments on this blog post - Please log in to comment on this blog.