CrushedExpert has won 5,472 Achievements and 1 Challenge in 274 games
Registered on 01 Jan 14
| Last visited 24 Mar 17 | Last scanned on 21 September 17 at 17:16 by TA Scanner 3
63 achievements out of 113 won | 95,038 tracked gamers have this game | Last played 20 Sep 17
25 achievements out of 84 won | 166,229 tracked gamers have this game | Last played 05 Aug 17
42 achievements out of 95 won | 250,016 tracked gamers have this game | Last played 06 Jul 17
The details of my life are quite inconsequential... My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.
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