CrushedExpert has won 5,244 Achievements and 1 Challenge in 268 games
Registered on 01 Jan 14
| Last visited 05 Jan 15 | Last scanned yesterday at 02:30 by TA Scanner 3
18 achievements out of 70 won | 2,885 tracked gamers have this game | Last played 25 Nov 16
7 achievements out of 35 won | 41,115 tracked gamers have this game | Last played 21 Nov 16
34 achievements out of 47 won | 5,066 tracked gamers have this game | Last played 20 Nov 16
The details of my life are quite inconsequential... My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.
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