CrushedExpert has won 5,309 Achievements and 1 Challenge in 270 games
Registered on 01 Jan 14
| Last visited 05 Jan 15 | Last scanned today at 00:31 by TA Scanner 3
13 achievements out of 69 won | 69,315 tracked gamers have this game | Last played 08 Jan 17
35 achievements out of 35 won | 43,634 tracked gamers have this game | Last played 28 Dec 16
1 achievement out of 63 won | 16,877 tracked gamers have this game | Last played 21 Dec 16
The details of my life are quite inconsequential... My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.
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