Some people on here will know that I've been talking about some Xbox "friends" who haven't been treating me very nicely. Well, recently they decided that they no longer want to be my friend due to ny mental health issues and they think that I'm not a nice person. One of them blocked me and I decided to remove the other. Their accusations have hurt me and have made me upset. Now, I'm not going to name them but I have reported both - I doubt much will come out of it. I genuinely thought they were nice people and I'm shocked that they turned. I've had to let people know in the group that I won't be in the parties with these people and that they are welcome to keep me as a friend. The two ex friends have now been saying very nasty things about me and accusing me of fishing for sympathy and faking my mental health problems. They have also been accusing me of trying to get people to turn against them, which is not the case, but they have been trying to do that against me.
At first, the situation made me consider leaving Xbox and gaming, as I felt truly hurt by what has been said. I've since abandoned that thought and I'm here to stay on Xbox and I'll continue gaming like normal. I may have a little break, but nothing will stop me from gaming and achievement hunting. I'm trying to move on and stay focused on being positive and I'm working to control my moods. I understand my depression and anxiety issues sometimes gets too much and I will post things that can sound dark, uncomfortable and worrying. I only post those things as when I have a depressive episode, it takes control of my emotions and thoughts, and a dark cloud consumes me. I apologise for posting things when I'm depressed, and I don't mean to make anyone feel uncomfortable. I don't post those things to get attention or sympathy, I currently have no control over it and I usually don't remember what happened. I also remove those posts afterwards.
I understand that not everyone can deal with someone with mental health issues and I apologise if I annoy anyone with my problems. It's not my intention to hurt anyone. My issues are a part of me and probably will be for the rest of my life. I have to live with that regardless and I don't enjoy the hell it puts me through. I can't have people in my life who are going to attack me for who I am and my problems. It's not fair that I have to justify my issues everyday and it's not nice to be kicked down emotionally when I'm already feeling down. I'm not going to apologise for who I am any more. If no one can't accept me as I am, then there isn't a place for them in my life. I'm not aiming this at anyone, I just needed to get this off my chest. My focus is on moving forward positively and working on living a brighter life. Thank you to all who currently stand with me and have put up with my moments. I'm grateful for all the kind words that have been said to me, it means a lot. I'm honoured to be part of this site and I respect everyone on here.
Posted by SkydivingFalcon
on 01 July 17 at 18:41
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