The Gaming and the Mental Health.
I could sit here and tell you how great life is, but I'd be lying. I probably shouldn't post this. For those who don't know, I suffer from depression and an anxiety disorder. It's been the bane of life for 7 years and I just can't break it's spell no matter what I do. I lock myself away from the outside world. It affects me in many ways. I have trouble keeping friends because of it, I've already lost a best friend. Eventually people stop talking to me, people who I trusted. I may be young but if I could turn back time, I would. I have two forms of escapisms; music and gaming. So, why is gaming one of them?
Well, it's idea of getting lost in a creative world. Connecting with characters, being in control of something, getting lost in a good story. And eventually, the achievement hunting got added on. The reason I'm an Achievement Hunter is because it gives me a sense of accomplishment that I can't get in my life. Gaming makes me forget what goes on in my head, even for a little while. I love to look back at my achievements and think, 'yeah, I completed that'. Even if that means nothing to a lot of people, it kind of means something to me.
One thing I've struggled with is the social gaming. I can be shy at times, and I'll happily sit in a party and not say a thing. Kind of the reason as to why I don't join many achievement sessions. I think I've seen the good, the bad and the ugly side of social gaming. I've had people ridicule me for not being brilliant at certain games, and that gets me down. I don't care on anyone's skill on a game. I mean if you're good, then that's great, but I just want to have a good time. The social side of gaming can depress me at times but I don't want that to be the case. I don't want my mental health to prevent me from gaming, but I fear it will.
I can be afraid to talk to people, even those who tell me to contact them if I need to get something off my mind. I don't want my mental health to be discussed during a game, and I certainly don't want to be judged over it. I know I don't have to tell people what I go through, and that's my right, but sometimes it's harder to lie. I always feel I need to apologise for who I am and how I might be feeling. I don't want to burden someone with my problems.
Anyway, I just wanted to post this. I do want to say that I respect everyone on this site and I thank those who are friends with me on here. You're all great people.
Posted by SkydivingFalcon
on 11 April 17 at 00:02
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