Achievement Preview Spotlight: Diablo III

By Jonathan Barnes, 3 years ago
Kids, tomorrow's my birthday. I have plans, but like most of you, I've been pining for one game to find all wrapped up for me at my party. One game that will satisfy my inner gamer. One game to rule them. One game to find them. One game to bring them all and in the darkness bind them. Yes, you guessed right, I'm talking about Farming Simulator 2013. I've been on board with the franchise since its announcement for the 360, but the achievement gods have not yet scanned in the achievements at the time of writing, meaning we have to go to "Plan B".

"Plan B" is, of course, Diablo III, one of the games that console gamers have been pining for, have been wishing for, and have been covering rumors about since 2010. Fortunately, the wait is almost over and now we can get our first look at what Blizzard has cooked up for us.

I'm going to go with a rule made by Grantland's Andy Greenwald for when he recaps Game of Thrones with a few modifications:

[Note on this spotlight: I have not played Diablo III on PC, and I have no intention to do so. My goal is to analyze and enjoy Diablo III strictly as a console experience. So please, no spoilers or “I told you so”s in the comments, OK? OK!]


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Are you ready for a big dose of happy? Best prepare yourself, son, because Diablo III has zero secret achievements. This calls for a(nother) drink!

[hic]

As an RPG-Dungeon Crawler, most fans can probably guess what kinds of achievements you'll be finding in Diablo III, and you'd be right. You're going to have achievements for reaching ridiculous levels, earning insane amounts of money, and acquiring the finest of equipment. As your guide through this list, I'm taking it upon myself to try and point out some unexpected achievements that may torment amuse and delight you.

Let's kick things off with the first achievement in the list... if only because it made me stop and say, "Huh?"

Never Seen that Before in Diablo III
Kill one of the unique enemies listed in the Never Seen That Before Challenge.

You can just call me the Robert Muldoon of RPGs. I've hunted Kayran, Terramorphous, and Dragons, but I really want to see something that I've "Never Seen Before". Color me intrigued.

The next achievement to draw my steely (if glazed-over at the moment) gaze is a common epithet from gamers upon seeing fresh media assets.

Shut Up and Take My Money! in Diablo III
Buy each type of item from merchants.

Really the nuts and bolts of popping this achievement won't be too tough, but the name is just... mmm... tasty.

This next achievement may take a spot of grinding, but I'm pretty sure you'll have a spot of fun doing it.

The Elitist in Diablo III
Kill 500 elite (champion, rare, or unique) enemies.

Killing "elite" enemies has to be at least something of a challenge, right? Nevermind just finding 500 "elite" enemies, but actually slaying them and harvesting their valuable loot drops has to be a task of monumental proportions, right?

Speaking of killing things that need to die, I'm sure this next achievement is going to raise your vitriol level an ounce or two.

Greed over Need in Diablo III
Kill 100 Treasure Goblins.

Look, I don't know what "Treasure Goblins" are right now (again, see Mr. Greenwald's salient point in the opener), but I already hate them. I look forward to slaying 100 of these things for the good of the many, the good of the few, and the good of Chester McMichael of 2020 Shenandoah Dr... pouring one out for ya, buddy.

Let's cut the crap and get down to the big one, the holy roller, the enchilada, the maestro, the achievement that is going to reign supreme over all others. Feel free to start your swearing now.

Prepared for Battle in Diablo III
Equip all Inventory slots with items that have a minimum required level of 60 or higher.

I'm not saying that popping this achievement is going to be hard. Heck, nailing down The Prime Evil (Inferno) (Kill Diablo in Inferno mode) may very well be harder at its core, but getting Level 60 equipment in all of your slots is going to take time, dedication, and a smidgeon of masochism.

Aside from "Prepare for Battle" and "The Prime Evil (Inferno)" other high-value achievements of note are: Diabolical (Complete all the Diablo triumph challenges) and Hero of Sanctuary (Reach level 60). At it's core, though, to fully complete Diablo III you're going to need to do a full "Inferno" playthrough, which, I hear, is not for the faint of heart.

I, however, am up for this challenge and will gladly be taking on Diablo III when it gets released next week... but not before my sweet, sweet Farming Simulator 2013. Oh, government agricultural subsidies, I can't quit you!

If there's an upcoming game or DLC pack that you'd like to see featured in the Achievement Preview Spotlight, be sure to let us know in the comments!
Jonathan Barnes
Written by Jonathan Barnes
Jonathan has been a news/views contributor since 2010. When he's not writing reviews, features, and opinion pieces, he spends his days working as an informal science educator and his nights as an international man of mystery.