Grand Theft Auto V
is just around the corner
, and in a final push the Blaine County Board of Tourism has updated their Los Santos Travelogue to entice people to come and enjoy the multiple facets of the area. Perhaps you can stalk your favorite celebrity by taking a sightseeing bus courtesy of Vinewood Star Tours? There’s also opportunities for those looking to make Los Santos their home; the area offers accommodations no matter what how deep your pockets are. See what we mean with the latest entries:Note: check out our screenshot viewer for better image clarity, or head over to the Grand Theft Auto V Official Site for the entire Travelogue experienceLovely Accommodations
Suit your lifestyle with and settle down in your own West Coast slice of heavenSightseeing & Celebrity
Faded starlets, troubled celebutantes and aggressive, costumed street performers - you never know who you're going to bump into on Vinewood Boulevard. Come see the sights and sounds for yourself, or jump aboard the Vinewood Star Tours bus to have a struggling actor narrate as you take a guided tour of the landmarks and homes of the rich and famous while sitting on an un-airconditioned bus.Prattle Weekly
This week’s cover story: Her Last Shred of Dignity
Washed-up TV fossil Miranda Cowan - aka the Silicone Slattern – put on her own drunken show at a Los Santos strip club last night in yet another desperate attempt to garner media attention and claw back some relevance. Well, Miranda, I guess it worked. Here you are, back in the news. Hope all that time dating 25-year-olds, falling out of nightclubs and flashing your crotch at photographers was worth it. The thing is… you’re not fooling anybody, especially with that new plastic surgery vibe you’ve got. Everybody knows that you’re 39, which is 93 in celebrity years. You’re finished. Our readers don’t care about you. We are all about the young and dumb.West Coast Classics Magazine
- The 21st Century xxx
This week’s cover story: Bigger Than World Peace
During a 3 hour concert the other night, 30 minutes of which were spent performing and the other 2 and a half hours spent preaching about how he’s the most important American icon of our time – rapper MC Clip told the audience that he is now going to stop the war, whatever that means.StarTalk Weekly
“In the long run, I’ll have a greater effect on humanity. I’m a singer, producer, intellectual, fashion designer, philosopher, poet, billionaire… I’m taking so many things to a different level simultaneously. Forget triple threat or quadruple threat. They ain’t invented a big enough ‘ruple’ for me yet. I don’t compete against other people. It’s pointless. I compete against myself, and when I compete against myself, everyone wins. The only regret I have is that I wasn't the first man on Earth because imagine how much further along the human race would be. We’d be running the universe by now instead of still trying to get a hotel built on the moon. I’m living proof that you don’t need to read no books to be a genius. I blog in all CAPS, baby!”
Is MC Clip the most odious, deluded megalomaniac who ever lived? Should we really be glorifying his messages of narcissism, misogyny and materialism to impressionable young teenagers just to sell magazines? Can I still in my heart of hearts call myself a journalist? So many questions, and only West Coast Classics has the answers. Stay tuned!
This week’s cover story: Poppy Mitchell Gets Popped
Our old friend Sloppy Poppy is at it again. Despite overwhelming high-definition, close-up evidence to the contrary, Poppy Mitchell is still claiming that she is all about keeping it real pluto-tonic. As in far away and hard to define. Appearing on The Weazel News Morning Show yesterday, the young actress accused everyone, from the liberal media to rival All-American romcom starlet Lacey Jonas to the "wackos,” of waging a smear campaign against her.24-Hour Convenience Stores
“There’s like these apps now that can totally change what you’re doing in photos and videos. No seriously. One minute you’re doing some quad stretches with your trainer, the next it’s being sold as a sex tape. And yes I like to go out and party, and sometimes I fall over and quote hiphop, but that’s just exhaustion from being a role model or a contact buzz from the people I’m with. I don’t care what the Internet says about me. I’m all about staying true to myself and my tween fanbase. Purity is the most important thing in my life right now. Totally. This stuff is cut I think. Stop rolling you idiot...”
Oh please. The only thing pure in Poppy Mitchell’s life right now is the 8 ball she goes through on a nightly basis. At this point, is there anybody in Vinewood who hasn't had a go at her Promise Ring? We’ll stay on this story until it gets interesting or she has a mental breakdown.
You'll find the roads of Los Santos and Blaine County packed with accommodating convenience and liquor stores, open around the clock for your last minute needs. Stop into your local 24/7, LTD service station or Rob's liquor store - the tills are always filled with cash to serve you.24/7 SupermarketsLimited ServiceRob’s LiquorOpportunity for the upwardly mobile
This is a land of great opportunity. Cash is king in these parts - and ambitious and hard-working business people can make some big bucks if they know the right people and the right enterprise to get hooked up with…
There’s more to see in previous Travelogue
entries, so give them a gander if you haven’t already. If your current place of residence is under a rock, you should know that Grand Theft Auto V
hits stores tomorrow, September 17th.