I love Boobies

By Zach Cooper FBI, 9 years ago
It really gets my goat, grinds my gears, sinks my ship, bloats my toad, breaks my bridge, beaches my whale, gives thrust to my turbo boosters, shreds my lettuce, slices my onions, charges me for items I did not purchase, infuriates me greatly with a lot of the sexism in videogames discussions out there.

The focus of my fury would be the controversial bosom. Air Bags, Boobs, Chesticles, Dirty Pillows, Ear Muffs, Fun Bags, Gazongas, Hooters, ICBMs, Jubblies, Knockers, Love Muffins, Mammaries, Nubbies, Orbs, Peepers, Queen Jewels, Rockets, Sweater Puppies, titties, U-Boats, Volcanoes, Whoppers, X-tremes!, Yams, Zeppelins.

Every videogame forum ever created sooner or later has a “which chick do you think is the hottest” topic. Which sooner or later degrades into the whole “this one is ugly, while this one is smoking” business. A lot of the judgments made in these topics tend to do with bust size. You know what, big or small, boobs are boobs, big ones, small ones, soft ones, firm ones, pointy, round, whatever you use to describe em, whatever their attributes, they are awesome!

One post I have read discussing Ivy in Soul Calibur. “Ew Ivy is so gross, nobody has boobs that big and she is just so unrealistic.” You know what? A D Cup is not some magical line where anything above that simply does not exist in reality. There are women in all shapes and sizes, none of those shapes and sizes are gross. What is gross is your close minded ignorance and lack of sensitivity to others you little, pathetic jackass.

Do you have any idea how many women out there who get treated poorly only because they have a large bust size? People automatically assume just because you have a large chest you are automatically a stripper, prostitute or simply easy to get in the sack? You know how many women get unnecessary (and really expensive) breast reductions simply because of the opinion and rude comments of stupid people? It doesn’t even matter what people think, if you have a bust that does not fit into whatever “norm” people have decided is correct, you will get hate on just because of it.

Then take a Street fighter forum “No way is sakura a girl and cammy is the manliest character in the game!” You know I hate the guy who said that as well. It is all prejudicing against one body type or another. Stuff like that is just so pathetic, it makes me nauseous. A smaller frame or body type is just as sexy and awesome as a fuller figured one. It is those idiots who make fun of smaller busted women that cause women to go out and get unnecessary breast augmentations, just so those same people can turn around and say “oh I hate women with fake breasts, they look like such whores.”

Society has set it up so that no matter whom you are, no matter what shape, size or attributes you have, someone will criticize and make fun of you for them. You know what else, not only are most ladies way too hard on yourselves, you are way too hard on each other. When feminism became mainstream people seemed to get this idea “yeah girl power, girls unite!” Well you know what, that is not how it is. Women hit each other with the dirties, nastiest most heart wrenching criticisms out there. You ladies who tear each other down, try to make each other jealous and do whatever other nasty stuff in the book and for what? I mean really what do you gain out of it; the only thing I see is maybe some kind of heartless witch achievement?

I guess what I am trying to get at is, no matter your body type, no matter your bust size, your hip size, your waist size, whatever size there is, you can be sexy and awesome. I must be the luckiest damn guy on the planet because I see something beautiful and sexy in each woman I see. What makes Ivy Valentine, Sakura and Cammy truly sexy is not their bodies but who they are as Characters. Ivy is intelligent, complicated, mature and sophisticated and intimidating in so many ways while making no apologies for who she is. Sakura is cute, energetic, silly and fun, I can imagine her playing DDR for over 9000 hours at anytime and I would love to join her. Sit around play videogames, do nerdy stuff and just get excited about things for no reason. Cammy is like a female badass action hero, she is determined, powerful and I would never want to mess with her, yet she still has that soft and sensitive side as well. All these women are so different, yet so sexy, so beautiful and so feminine; their bodies have nothing to do with who they are.

You know I can’t really spend this whole time listing why every single woman on the planet is amazing, awesome and sexy, but take my word for it. You ladies are, it doesn’t matter who you are, what you are or even why you are. You are awesome and there is at least one person who thinks so.

I think I will stop here for now… All the different aspects of sexism, especially in videogames and videogame culture is way too big of a problem for me to address in one little blog post, sure I need to elaborate on a lot of my points and yes there are a lot of different arguments but I mainly just wanted to get that out there. “No matter what your body is like, it is who you are on the inside that counts.”

As corny as it may sound, it is more true than you could ever know and the people who accept it for truth are the truly happy and comfortable ones.