TA Top Five: Battle-Cars We Want to See in Rocket League

By Mark Delaney, 9 months ago
Just as it did on PC and PS4 last summer, Rocket League has come to Xbox One and taken over. It's one of the best sports games ever, working as a very accessible title for anyone to pick up while also being an immensely fun spectator game, as the Twitch and YouTube gaming communities have learned. Currently the roster of customizable battle-cars is numbered at just over 20, with such licensed cars as the Back to the Future DeLorean, Gears of War Armadillo, and, most recently, the Dawn of Justice Batmobile. Because more licensed vehicles are both likely and fun to predict, we decided to brainstorm what other cars from pop culture deserve a place on the neon-infused pitch. We even conjured up our ideas for each car's rocket trail.

Honorable Mentions

DHARMA Van
Thanks for the ride, Roger Workman.Thanks for the ride, Roger Workman.

LOST has been off the air for nearly six full years, but its cultural impact is still felt on shows like The Walking Dead, The Leftovers, and many others that tell dramatic stories with big casts of characters. Another aspect of the mysterious show that has survived the test of time is the DHARMA Initiative's van that Hurley and others fixed up to get back into working condition after it sat in the jungle for about two decades. Fans of the show will never forget the baby blue Volkswagon filled with old beer and a dead janitor. Before you go diving for the ball in Rocket League, however, you may want to get those brakes checked.

Rocket Trail: The Smoke Monster

The Homer
With three horns, because you can never find a horn when you're mad.With three horns, because you can never find a horn when you're mad.

A few years ago, this one may have been higher. The Simpsons has lost some of its cultural cachet over the past several years as other adult cartoons like Rick & Morty and Archer have surpassed Groening's storied sitcom thanks to great critical acclaim and Father Time catching up to Springfield's famous family. Having said that, Homer's failed attempt at creating a car for the "average" American is iconic thanks to its bizarre shape, unique features (two domes to keep adults and bickering children separate), and a great episode. Not only that, but the look of the vehicle just seems to fit Rocket League, doesn't it?

Rocket Trail: Approximately $82,000

Mutts Cutts
You can't triple-stamp a double-stamp.You can't triple-stamp a double-stamp.

Ignoring its failed sequel and prequel and focusing solely on the Farrelly Brothers' original, Dumb & Dumber is a classic comedy that dares to determine who really is the dumber one. (It's Lloyd, right?) Harry's pet grooming business, Mutt Cutts, sported one of the most absurd cars in the history of cinema with his literal shaggin' wagon. Rocket League can get very serious among players in a multiplayer match headed for overtime, but the game doesn't take itself too seriously and seeing a four-wheeled dog on the field would be hilarious.

Rocket Trail: Dog hair

Top Five

5. The Party Wagon
I imagine the back of this thing is full of empty pizza boxes.I imagine the back of this thing is full of empty pizza boxes.

The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles' van, also appropriately known as the Party Wagon, is a dual-purpose mobile pizza party and Shredder hunter. Though it's not featured in all versions of the TMNT history, children of the 80's and 90's will surely recall the van, with its colorful paint job and kid-friendly "Foot Stinks" decal on the doors. As Rocket League has attracted a wide range of children and adults, this one seems like the type of car you'd see a lot online if it was made for the game.

Rocket Trail: Pizza. Either slices or whole pies.

4. Mako
At least there are no thresher maws in <i>Rocket League.</i>At least there are no thresher maws in Rocket League.

Mass Effect's Mako wasn't well loved when in use during BioWare's space epic. Its controls were so frustrating that the developers removed it and found other ways to mix in vehicle sections of the sequels. In Rocket League, however, those control issues would go away as the vehicle adopts the game's controls, leaving us with a pretty cool planet rover. It already possesses some of the same low gravity jumping abilities that would feel right at home in the sports mash-up, too.

Rocket Trail: The same blue streak from Mass Effect.

3. Mystery Machine
And I would've scored the winning goal too, if it weren't for you meddling kids!"And I would've scored the winning goal too, if it weren't for you meddling kids!

Perhaps the most instantly recognizable vehicle on this list, Scooby-Doo's crew have been riding around in the Mystery Machine since 1969. The color scheme would be altered in Rocket League, like all the other cars are subject to, but the design of it is still instantly nostalgic to millions of people because it's a series that has never gone away. Side note: this makes it four vans on the list, but that's really just coincidence.

Rocket Trail: Scooby Snacks

2. Jurassic Park's Explorer
The all-new 1992 Ford Explorer XLT. Now dinosaur-resistant. Sort of.The all-new 1992 Ford Explorer XLT. Now dinosaur-resistant. Sort of.

Even Rocket League's best goal scorers aren't all that formidable when you've survived a T-Rex attack. The latest sequel, Jurassic World, ditched the old school model and color palette for a more modern look, but these classics from the early nineties are far more memorable and would fit nicely beside the DeLorean and Batmobile in the garage of pop culture junkies playing Psyonix's hit game.

Rocket Trail: Amber

1. Ecto-1
It might need a little work.It might need a little work.

This one not only fits really well but seems very likely. With the new Ghostbusters reboot arriving later this year, we could very well see the Ecto-1 or one of its several reimaginings come to Rocket League. After all, as fun as these licensed cars have been so far, the Batmobile and DeLorean were both very obviously promotional add-ons for their respective properties at the time. Be on the lookout for this one around the film's debut this July. it just might happen.

Rocket Trail: Ectoplasm
Mark Delaney
Written by Mark Delaney
Mark is a lifelong gamer and current Assistant (to the) News Manager on TA. When not playing games, he can be found cheering for a bad football team, playing Batman action figures with his son, or going to concerts with his lover. Days where he does all of those things are his favorite.