Hitman: Absolution Hammers Hope City

By Rebecca Smith, 4 years ago
POLICE REPORT

Case Number: 640509-050447
Date: June 14th, 2012
Reporting Officer: Insp. B. Fournier
Incident: Murder of Joe the Plumber


Details of event

Joe the Plumber, 63, was found murdered in his bathroom a week ago on June 7th. While he sat on the latrine "doing his business", the Proud Piper was brutally bludgeoned to death. The latrine also sustained quite a bit of damage during the attack, leaving water to flood the bathroom floor. Most of the forensic evidence was destroyed during this flood. The subsequent post mortem and limited amount of evidence gathered from the latrine has indicated that the murder weapon was a hammer.

Actions taken

Statements from family and friends reveal that the murder was completely unexpected. Joe did not appear to have any enemies. As a result, we are appealing for information through a tribute to the well-liked plumber in the latest edition of Hope News Times.

14/6/12 Hope News 6


We have also released the last image of the plumber at work, captured at Cherry Donuts, in the hope that we can piece together his final movements. The footage is taken from the evening of June 6th.

Screenshot 1


Summary

Our investigations are ongoing, but Chicago P.D. has asked us to keep them abreast of any further developments. Although we believe that Agent 47 has moved into their jurisdiction in an attempt to promote his upcoming game, Hitman: Absolution, Chicago believes that this case may have links to the previous murders of Gavin LeBlond and Josh Wiggins, the fatality at the McCready residence and the incident that caused the death of Fred Clark.

Chicago P.D. has still not been able to trace this man. There have been no noteworthy incidents for nearly three weeks now since the mass shooting and this is likely to be due to the increased publicity for his game, which releases on November 20th. Unfortunately, last week's E3 conference in Los Angeles resulted in many innocent Agent 47 look-alikes being questioned at the IO Interactive display stand. No new information was gleaned from the investigations there.
Rebecca Smith
Written by Rebecca Smith
Rebecca is the Newshound Manager at TrueGaming Network. She has been contributing articles since 2010, especially those that involve intimidatingly long lists. When not writing news, she works in an independent game shop so that she can spend all day talking about games too. She'll occasionally go outside.