South Park: Tenorman's Revenge Review by DROGTURIST

DROGTURISTDROGTURIST334,045
06 Apr 2012 06 Apr 2012
34 18 16
There is a lot to hate about this game, but very little to love. To start, I guess it's an amusing story if you like South Park, though it's clearly written by the b-team and not the best script ever produced by the SP studios. It's a little too obsessed with pee and poo, but it's not too bad. Some cutscenes are downright hilarious and all the right voices, including Trey Parker, are present so that part of the game is pretty good.

The problem is with the gameplay, of which there is almost none. This game pretends to be a sort of Metroid-like exploration platformer, but it ends up being neither. The platforming is either mindnumbingly simple and dull, or directly unfair and frustrating. Either the jumps are extremely long and just barely possible, or you do yawn-inducing little hops between simply-placed platforms. There is never a middleground.

On top of that, the exploration is incredibly weak. The levels are straight arrow-style left to right affairs with some mild branching paths; basically the exploration boils down to which character you use. Kenny can go to that branching path, while Stan can go to the other. Most levels don't even offer four paths for each of the kids, and many of them don't even offer any at all.

What the game ends up being is a massive collectathon, reminiscent of something that would've been released at the tail end of the PS1's or N64's lifetime. You know, when platformers went a little too crazy with hundreds of collectables in each level. We all thought that idea was dead for a decade, but South Park is bringing it back! The very first level alone has over 1000 collectables, with no hyperbole or exaggeration. Granted, you don't need to collect all of them but you're going to have to grab most of them since the collectables are how you obtain gold medals.

Overall, this is barely a game. It's a work assignment. You have to painstakingly slog your way through 20 levels, that are an average of 20 minutes long with no potential for speedrunning, with each character and collect tens of thousands of balls and boxes along the way. They even expect you to stack crates in piles so you can reach more shit to collect. How the thought that this is closer to work than fun didn't cross anyone's mind when they put in all the crate puzzles is beyond mysterious.

You'd think that, like most games, South Park would end up being more fun in online co-op, but due to some of the design decisions, that ends up being the opposite of true. Instead of being able to work together and take different branching paths and thus playing the game more effectively, you have to constantly share a screen as the camera zooms out more the further apart you get. That just ends up meaning that there basically is no co-op gameplay at all; you both have to follow each other closely to counter the camera zooming out, as that makes the game much harder to play, which is basically just singleplayer with two players. If you have to stay on the same path, use the same platforms and coordinate your efforts so that you play as one, how is that even co-operative at all? I mean, I guess it is, but it's not very fun co-op.

Last but not least, this game was clearly programmed in Flash. It plays just like a random, run-of-the-mill platformer on Newgrounds. Floaty physics, slightly unresponsive controls, frustrating level designs. All of it screams Flash, which in turn screams unprofessional.

Avoid this game unless you love paying 800 MSP so you can complete chores and work assignments. If you want to play an actual game, there are 500 other games on Arcade.
1.0
TomGranzZzLet me tell you im a HUGE south park fan I have been obsessed with south park ever since i was about 5.And i gotta say....your right.I have been waiting very long for this game and i am ashamed of it.I have 3 others friends and we were gonna beat it in one day until we noticed that only the host gets ALL time cores,mega men,LEVELS,and every other thing collected.Yeah the guest dont get anything.So whats the point of online co-op if you make 0% of progress?! (unless your host) That's some bullshit.Good review overall.
Posted by TomGranzZz on 06 Apr 12 at 22:03
DROGTURISTAw man, that sucks to be a huge fan and have them release...this. It's gotta be a slap in the face almost.

You're right about the co-op thing btw, I should've mentioned that. That part is unforgivable - how are they going to sell their game as a co-op game but not even let people make progress in the story when they play it that way? Terrible!
Posted by DROGTURIST on 06 Apr 12 at 22:19
You should put that coop part in the review.... I agree with you 100%.
I played the demo and bailed out on it in 5 minutes. They should have just made another tower defense game.
Posted on 06 Apr 12 at 23:52
AnarchyRouletteI actually have to disagree with most of this review other than the co-op. I can run through almost all these levels. There are only a few levels I haven't gotten gold on. The gameplay is fairly solid. Almost like a fresher looking mario platform. There is plenty to explore for such a small game. You also have to compare how much you spent. $10 doesn't get you much on xbl. I will admit that on occasion the controls suck, and that some jumps are incredibly hard to make on your first try.
Posted by AnarchyRoulette on 07 Apr 12 at 08:53
DROGTURISTTo each their own, of course, and I'm not trying to say that you're not allowed to like the game... But do you have any actual arguments for why the gameplay is "solid"? My review is basically nothing but arguments for why it's not, so it's only fair for you to elaborate on why you disagree with me. I mean, I'm almost offended by the fact that you're comparing this godawful mess to the platforming bliss that is 2D Mario. That's just an absurd thing to say, come on.

And, I feel I have to add that I have no idea where you get the idea that "$10 doesn't get you much." Shadow Complex is 800. Castlevania: SOTN is 800. So are Shoot Many Robots, Pinball Arcade, Castle Crashers, Dead Rising: Case West, Shank, Bionic Commando: Rearmed, Ikaruga and countless others. Geometry Wars, Quarrel and Gatling Gears are 400. If we stick to only platformers, you can get Scarygirl, Splosion Man, N+, NIN2-JUMP, Cloning Clyde, Mega Man 9 and 10, Outland and Prince of Persia, among many others, for the same price or less than this game. All of these games are far, far better than South Park.
Posted by DROGTURIST on 07 Apr 12 at 09:07
He must be a south park die hard fanboi.
I love love love south park but this game sucks!

As I said before they should have made a second tower defense.
I would have bought that one day one.

The achievements are just stupid on this game. When an arcade game is sitting at 1234 points on TA than there is a problem.
Posted on 07 Apr 12 at 12:01
Slam Shot SamI respect your opinion, but I really enjoyed the Trial. Couple that with being a big South Park fan and I can't wait to get some M$P and play this!
Posted by Slam Shot Sam on 07 Apr 12 at 21:01
You will change your mind when you play all of it.
Posted on 07 Apr 12 at 22:42
AnarchyRouletteOkay I understand your argument for SOTN, and almost for Shadow Complex. SOTN is just a re-release though, so as far as that goes there was not any risk involved by releasing it. The Tenorman's Revenge put it's own unique twist. I rather enjoyed it, but at the same time that's what I enjoy. Call me a fanboy (If you're going to make fun of someone at least spell right.) that doesn't matter. Now that you've gotten set in your head that I am it's not like I'll change your mind. Also as for consistent gameplay. When I can find a constant in the game, and then start memorizing a pattern it's the very definition of consistent. I would also point out most of the arcade games you point out are pretty much older games with a new paint job and a few whistles and bells. Shoot Many Robots= Contra, Pinball Arcade is just like every pinball game to ever come out. I will agree Castle crashers was a great idea. I'm not trying to contradict you at every turn. On contrary I enjoy most of these games you have listed. As for not responding to your reply sooner. I regret not doing so sooner.
Posted by AnarchyRoulette on 10 Jun 12 at 23:24
AnarchyRouletteTo further my previous comment; We'll continue with story. As far as South Park's story lines go it fits almost perfectly. A few imperfections here and there, but that could be said about any show, game, movie, ect. you'll ever come across. I also substitute the word "solid" for "consistent", because if I can make a jump from the same place 99 out of 100 times, then I would call that pretty consistent, solid, accurate, or any other synonym you might be able to think up. I hear a lot of complaints about achievements, well maybe they wanted some of the achievements to be a little harder. I can't really defend that aspect, because I didn't make them up. As you said earlier though, "To each their own, of course". I'm just giving my own opinion.
Posted by AnarchyRoulette on 11 Jun 12 at 14:26
TheNutman69321So much to disagree with in this review, I wouldn't even know where to begin. I'll just point out the two obvious things wrong with the review that are facts not opinions. There aren't thousands of collectibles. There are 3 megamen in each level and at most 20 secret areas (usually more like 5-10). All the other things (I'm totally blanking on what they are called) that take off seconds of your time are not collectibles nor do you have to go out of your way to collect them for gold. Just by running through the level and picking up the ones you come across you will easily get gold on every single level the first try other than maybe the boss levels. Second if you're just running through the levels none will take you anywhere near 20 minutes, most can be beaten in 1-2 minutes, 5 at the most for the longest levels.

The rest is all opinion really so I'm not gonna argue with that stuff, everyone has a different opinion. I don't know what you were expecting from this game though. It's a simple marioesque platformer and lived up to exactly what it claimed to be.
Posted by TheNutman69321 on 27 Jun 12 at 22:22
DROGTURISTWhat game are you even talking about? Neither of your facts are anywhere near true. Perhaps they drastically lowered the gold medal requirements with the patch, but there isn't a single level that's only a minute long aside from ManBearPig.

And I was expecting the game not to suck ass. Like we've already covered in this thread, comparing it to Mario is absurd. Mario had good physics and controls in his first game 25 years ago, it's pathetic that a game from 2012 can't even compete with that.
Posted by DROGTURIST on 28 Jun 12 at 06:36
PrettyColt21109It truly is an absolutely pathetically shite game, South Park fan or no. Biggest chore of a game, do not buy it EVER, even if it's free avoid it. How you can make a platform game worse than games from 20 years ago is beyond me. You have been warned
Posted by PrettyColt21109 on 24 Apr 16 at 23:59