Castle Crashers Review by Quantum Binman

Quantum BinmanQuantum Binman245,543
23 Jun 2014 23 Jun 2014
20 7 6
The "too long, didn't read" version of the review:

You can see a deer shitting itself.

11/10. Game of the year. Last year, this year, and next year. And all following years.



The "full" version of the review:

It's fun. You can play with friends. If you have absent friends you can play with yourself while waiting for friends to appear, or even play by yourself if you're the kind of person that lives in a house which has bean bags instead of real furniture.

You play as a guy that has a weapon and some clothes. There are other guys as well if the first guy isn't to your liking. You can even play as a retarded version of ET if you have a save file from a previous game by The Behemoth (called "Retarded ET").
PRO-TIP: The alien is yellow.

You fight people and the game ends when you either kill everyone, or get bored.

There are some other online modes which are fucking dull and not worth playing after getting the achievements, although there is a special chance to make randoms really angry by going in to ranked "all you can eat" matches and using a turbo controller.

Oh, and there is a deer that shits itself.

In summary; 11/10. Game of the year. Last year, this year, and next year. And all following years.
5.0
Harbringernight2nd best review evar!
Sushi Dick.
Posted by Harbringernight on 24 Jun 14 at 02:49
Capt PoopeyExcellent review. Reminds me of two things:

1) We have a silver vinyl beanbag which we never use but has been in the sitting room forever. Must remember to throw it out next council cleanup.

2) Must play Goat Simulator.

We love ya QB.
Posted by Capt Poopey on 24 Jun 14 at 21:24
JohnnyGreenbackIf this is the game of "every year" then how could you get bored?
Posted by JohnnyGreenback on 24 Jun 14 at 22:49
Quantum BinmanThat was for the loners who live in a house full of beanbags. They need time for cup noodles and masturbation.
Posted by Quantum Binman on 25 Jun 14 at 01:13
Impdaddyzer0Ohhhh, you meant beanbag chairs. I thought it was some kind of clever metaphor or cutesy nickname for a roommate or something.

Keep up the outstanding reviews, QB!
Posted by Impdaddyzer0 on 03 Jul 14 at 00:27
HarbringernightWhat game is next?
Posted by Harbringernight on 03 Jul 14 at 18:28