Untitled Goose Game

Untitled Goose Game

For those who have not experienced the wonder that is this game, boy are you in for a surprise. In this game, you play as a goose, whose sole purpose - much like all geese - is to make everyone's life just a liiiiiiiittle bit worse. Except for yours, of course. The achievement list is incredibly simple, requiring us to just complete all of the in-game objectives, though some of them can be quite tricky, namely the speedrun ones. We will be doing "two" playthroughs of the game, but they will be in the same save. One will be for completing all of the main and side objectives, and one will be explicitly for speedruns. This game will probably take you upwards of 3 hours, though it may take longer if you have bad luck with the speedruns, or it may take less time if you nail them. I'd recommend you do the entirety of the first playthrough in one sitting (so if you don't have 2-3 hours to spare, you should probably wait), as this walkthrough is optimized to accomplish all the tasks as efficiently as possible, but when you quit, you will automatically reset the messes you have made, meaning any items that we have collected or strategically placed for use later, will be reset back to where they started, making things a bit harder. When doing the speedruns, we will be resetting constantly, so you can do those whenever you'd like.

Controls

The controls for this game are very simple:

cn_LS - Move

cn_X - Honk

cn_A - Run

cn_B - Interact/Pick Up

cn_LT - Crouch

cn_RT - Flap Wings

cn_LB - Zoom In

cn_RB - Zoom Out

cn_start - Pause

cn_back - View To-Do List

Objectives

There are four kinds of objectives in this game. These aren't what they're officially called, but it's what I'm calling them for the sake of classification. Main Objectives are the ones that are required to be completed in order to progress to the next area. They are what must be completed for the speedrun objectives, as well as for the "Complete X to-do list" achievements. Secret Objectives are the ones that appear as question marks in your to-do list. These objectives are specific to one area. Compound Objectives are similar, in that they are also just question marks, but they require you to do things in multiple areas and often include backtracking. Finally, we have the Speedrun Objectives. Each area has one of these, requiring you to simply beat all of the main objectives before the church bell rings, which takes 7 minutes. We will be completely ignoring these objectives in the first playthrough, which is why you won't see them listed.

Achievement Walkthrough

To start the walkthrough, we're going to be running through the game, completing all of the main objectives, as well as all the side objectives except for the speedruns, as getting the speedrun objectives done in time while doing the other optional objectives is virtually impossible, and the speedruns will require a lot of resets. At the end, we will circle back around and complete each of the speedrun objectives. It is very important that you never reset during the initial playthrough, as that will revert all of the items to their starting points, and there are items that we will be carrying through the game with us that we don't want to have to backtrack for. For this reason, I would suggest doing the main and secret objectives all in one sitting.

Starting off, you will spawn in a bush. Press cn_X to get out of the bush. Follow along the path upwards, using cn_A to run and cn_LT to duck under the fallen tree. When you reach the fork in the road by the bike, take a right towards the gate. Use cn_B to open the top lock and then bend down and use cn_B to grab the bottom lock, then stand up. After a few seconds, the gate will fall and you can continue through.

Swim across the pond to arrive at the garden. At the garden, we have 7 main objectives, 2 secret objectives and 2 compound objectives:

Main Objectives:

  • get into the garden
  • get the groundskeeper wet
  • steal the groundskeeper's keys
  • make the groundskeeper wear his sun hat
  • rake in the lake
  • have a picnic
  • make the groundskeeper hammer his thumb *

Secret Objectives:

  • lock the groundskeeper out of the garden
  • cabbage picnic

Compound Objectives:

  • make someone from outside the high street buy back their own stuff
  • collect the five flowers

The asterisk next to the "make the groundskeeper hammer his thumb" objective means that it does not appear until later. In the case of this area, it will appear after you've complete enough of the other tasks, and sufficiently annoyed the groundskeeper.

To start, we're going to activate the hose to the left of the front gate by grabbing it. This will make the groundskeeper rush out to turn it off. Stand to the right of the gate and wait for him to come out. When he does, you want to grab the keys off of his leg when he is facing away from you, then sprint to the water (steal the groundskeeper's keys). He will chase you into the water and get wet (get the groundskeeper wet). Go back on land and the groundskeeper will likely take his keys back. As he is approaching his gate to re-enter his garden, steal his keys again and run to the far left (outside of the garden). On the left of the garden is a hedge with a hole at the bottom, that you can use to enter from the outside. Run through this hole with his keys and push the box out of the way. Now, drop the keys and sprint to the front gate. You want to grab the door by the lock and pull it shut (lock the groundskeeper out of the garden).

Nasty

Lock the groundskeeper out of the garden

Nasty
6 guidesOffline Game ModeSingle PlayerCooperative

Unfortunately, it's hard to get much done in the garden when the groundskeeper is locked out, as he will just stare at you over the wall, meaning you can't get away with much. The hardest objective here is definitely the cabbage picnic, which requires us to steal a cabbage and place it at the picnic blanket outside. You can't grab cabbages, you can only push them. For this, what you're going to want to do is grab a few of the groundskeeper's items, such as his thermos, jam, trowel, etc, and place them at the lower right corner of the garden. This way, when he re-enters, he will focus on putting these items back, so you can make a run for it with the cabbage. After you've got some items in the bottom right, pick up the keys and bring them outside to him, then run back inside after he does. Take a hard left towards the cabbages and start trying to push one through the hole. They're a bit wobbly but you should be able to push it through with little problem. Once the cabbage is out, push it all the way to the right, down the path, past the water fountain and then down onto the picnic blanket (cabbage picnic).

Yummy

Cabbage picnic

Yummy
5 guidesOffline Game ModeSingle PlayerCooperative

Now we're going to be completing the rest of the picnic. For this, we need the thermos, jam, a pumpkin and a carrot from inside the garden, and we need an apple, a sandwich, a basket and a radio from outside. We're gonna start with the items from in the garden, as they're the hardest. First up is the carrot, which is found near the gate. Wait until the groundskeeper is occupied with something else or looking away (hold cn_RB to zoom out), then grab a carrot and sprint to the blanket. Second up is the pumpkin, which are found to the right of the cabbages. You can't pick up the pumpkins, but you can drag them, so you're a bit slower. Wait until the groundskeeper is working on the right or back of his garden, then drag a pumpkin through the hole and across the yard to the blanket. Next up is the thermos/jam, which are right next to each other on the table near the back of the garden. Wait until he's working on either side of the garden, then grab one of the items and sprint down the opposite side of the garden to the gate. Do this for both items. Now, simply grab the apple and both halves of the sandwich off of the bench to the left of the blanket. Drag the basket from the bench to the blanket, then grab the radio off of the bags of sod from the left of the door. You always save the radio for last, as when you pick it up, it will play music that the groundskeeper will hear. Sprint with it over to the blanket and once all the items are there, you'll complete the hardest objective in this area (have a picnic).

When the groundskeeper comes out to investigate the radio, sprint to the back of his garden to where his rake is. Bend down and grab the rake, then drag it down the right side of the garden, so that you're near the bottom right of the garden. The groundskeeper will enter with his radio and walk to the back of his garden. When he does this, quickly drag the rake out and to the pond. Place it in the water (rake in the lake).

Head into the garden and steal the rose that is planted near the center. Present it to the groundskeeper and he will take it from you and go to replant it. When he kneels down to plant it, quickly run over and grab his hat off his head, and sprint out to the lake. Drop his hat far out in the lake, so that he doesn't bother to get it. He will then walk back into his garden and put on his sun hat (make the groundskeeper wear his sun hat). When the groundskeeper is sufficiently annoyed (usually after 5 or 6 tasks), he will hammer in a "no geese" sign in the back of his garden. Sprint to the back of the garden to watch him do this. As he is about to hammer in the sign, he will pump twice and then lift the hammer high above his head. When he does this, honk with cn_X to make him hammer his thumb (make the groundskeeper hammer his thumb). If you mess this up and he hammers the sign in, wait until he walks away and you can rip the sign out of the ground. Honk to get his attention and then try again.

The Garden

Complete the garden to-do list

The Garden
4 guidesOffline Game ModeSingle PlayerCooperativeMain Storyline

Once you've made him hammer his own thumb, the back gate of the garden will open, allowing you to continue. Grab the trowel on the blue chair (unless he's using it, in which case, wait until he is done and puts it back, then steal it). You don't want to be seen stealing it. Run through the back gate with it, and continue forward into the high street. In the middle of the street, a woman is selling stuff in an outdoor shop. In the center of this shop is a small table with tools on it. Quickly drop the trowel onto this table and run away. The woman will see the trowel and put it on the table for sale. Now we need to lure the groundskeeper here to make him buy it back.

Run back to the garden and grab a small item (hammer or keys work). Make sure you get his attention so that he chases you. Have him follow you all the way back to the shop. He will likely catch you once or twice, so if he does, just grab the item out of his hand and keep running, it's very easy. Run through the shop and out the other side, then drop the item on the ground. The groundskeeper will see his trowel and try to take it, but the woman will make him pay. This will unlock you an achievement, as well as complete two objectives (make someone from outside the high street buy back their own stuff, make someone buy back their own stuff).

Devious

Make someone from outside the high street buy back their own stuff

Devious
5 guidesOffline Game ModeSingle PlayerCooperative

This area is the high street, and has the following objectives:

Main Objectives:

  • break the broom
  • trap the boy in the phone booth
  • make the boy wear the wrong glasses
  • make someone buy back their own stuff
  • get on t.v.
  • go shopping
  • trap the shopkeeper in the garage *

Secret Objectives:

  • trip the boy in the puddle
  • make the shop scales go ding
  • open an umbrella inside the t.v. shop
  • trap the boy in the garage

Compound Objectives:

  • make someone from outside the high street buy back their own stuff
  • collect the five flowers
  • score a goal
  • dress up the bust with things from outside the back gardens

The first, and easiest thing to do here is to break the broom, which is located in the woman's outdoor shop. Wait until she is not using it, then quickly run in and duck to grab it. She will try to yank it away from you, so don't let go, and it will rip in half (break the broom). Now, we're going to want to steal an umbrella from the woman. This can be tricky as the store is very small, but if you wait until she is sweeping on the right side, you should be able to grab one and drag it out and to the left. Drag it out in front of the TV shop windows and leave it there just for now. The next thing we want to do is scare the boy into the phone booth. Look around for him and honk at him. You can now chase him in any direction you please, so chase him towards the phone booth, which is to the left of the TV shop. If he ever stops running, honk again (trap the boy in the phone booth). When he gets locked in there, he will call the TV shopkeeper and she will come out to help. Take this opportunity to drag the umbrella inside, by the tip of the umbrella, not the handle. Once it's inside, hit the red switch to the left of the door, then grab the handle of the umbrella. Run around the store for a second so that you appear on the TVs (open an umbrella inside the t.v. shop, get on t.v.).

Unlucky

Open an umbrella inside the TV shop

Unlucky
6 guidesOffline Game ModeSingle PlayerCooperative

Now you want to steal a pair of glasses from the shop, using the same technique as the umbrella. The glasses are located right next to the umbrellas. Once you have one, run to the boy and chase him towards the puddle at the far left corner of the high street area. Once you're here, drop the glasses on the floor and wait for him to stop running. Crouch down and untie each of his shoelaces. Scare him again and we will trip shortly after he starts running. You want him to fall into the puddle, which may take a couple of attempts. Just keep scaring him before he has a chance to tie his shoes (trip the boy in the puddle).

Ghastly

Trip the boy in the puddle

Ghastly
5 guidesOffline Game ModeSingle PlayerCooperative

You'll notice that when he falls, his glasses fall off. Grab his glasses and run off with them. Drop them somewhere else (remember where you put them), then carry the shop glasses to the boy, which he will put on (make the boy wear the wrong glasses). Now we have to go shopping. For this, we need to collect 5 items from the shop and put them in the basket. The basket is located to the left of the shop, but I would highly recommend pulling it farther away so that the woman can't see it. As long as the shop is fully out of frame when you are standing at the basket, you should be okay, but I'd recommend dragging it further to be safe. If at any point, the woman starts chasing you, immediately turn around and give the item you're holding to her. You don't want her to follow you to the basket, as she will begin to take all your items when she finds them. The first item we need is the toilet paper, which is the easiest one. Wait until she is looking away, then grab the toilet paper from outside the shop. Run it back to the basket and place it in it. The next item is a fruit or vegetable. I'd recommend the asparagus as it is the closest to the outside of the store. Wait until she is facing left, then grab it and run. The next two items are the canned food and the cleaner, both located on the left shelf of the store (the cleaner is the bottle with the green drop logo). Wait until she is sweeping the right side of the store and then quickly grab the two items. Finally. we have the hairbrush, which is located right in the center of the store. We're actually going to wait to grab this, as we need a 6th item from a garbage can as well. Head to the right of the store, past the garage, to the garbage can. Knock it over and grab the toothbrush, then bring it over to your basket. Now for the hairbrush, it doesn't really matter if she sees you or not, as the second you get the item to your cart, you'll complete the objective. Simply sprint in, grab it then sprint out and to your cart (go shopping).

There is actually one more item we need from the shop, for two compound objectives, and that is the flower, located to the right of the glasses rack. Use the same method of stealing the flower as the glasses, run the flower over to the garbage can and hide it behind the hedge, out of sight of the shopkeeper. By this point, the shopkeeper should be annoyed enough that she opens the garage door to grab her "no geese" sign. Once she has opened the garage door, grab one of her store items (a fruit or vegetable works best), and sprint into the back of the garage. Make sure she follows you. Drop the item in the back of the garage and quickly close the door on her by pulling the string. This will lock her inside momentarily (trap the shopkeeper in the garage).

The High Street

Complete the high street to-do list

The High Street
3 guidesOffline Game ModeSingle PlayerCooperativeMain Storyline

Now we have to go quick, as this is what I believe to be the hardest task in the game. We need to make the scales go ding, by piling three fruits or vegetables onto the scale to their left. Items can fall off, which can make this a bit tricky, but the tomatoes and oranges seem to be fairly stable, so I'd recommend trying three of those. Do this quickly, as the woman will soon free herself from the garage. If you can't do it in time, simply trap her again by luring her with another item (or the same one) and give it another go (make the shop scales go ding).

Noisy

Make the shop scales go ding

Noisy
5 guidesOffline Game ModeSingle PlayerCooperative

The last objective we'll be doing here is one of the easiest. Simply scare the child into the garage by chasing him, then lock him in by closing the door (trap the boy in the garage).

Dreadful

Trap the boy in the garage

Dreadful
7 guidesOffline Game ModeSingle PlayerCooperative

The gate next to the garage is now open, and we can head onto the next area. Before we go, we are going to need a few items. We need the boy's glasses, the white flower and we also need the groundskeeper's hat, which is sitting in the pond. We'll start with that one. Backtrack to the garden and grab the hat out of the pond, then bring it back to the gate next to the garage, being careful not to be seen by the groundskeeper. Take all three of these items through to the next area (through the gate), one at a time, taking a right when you reach a fork in the path. You will see a few broken planks in the fence, which you can destroy to enter the back gardens. Bring the three items here (not in the garden, but to the outside of the fence). After you do this, head back to the high street and steal the kid's soccer ball. You can't pick it up, so you'll have to push it to the back gardens. You can crouch and hit cn_B to headbutt the ball to move it a bit quicker.

Main Objectives:

  • make someone break the fancy vase
  • help the woman dress up the bust
  • make the man spit out his tea
  • get dressed up with a ribbon
  • make the man go barefoot
  • do the washing
  • make someone prune the prize rose *

Secret Objectives:

  • catch an object as it's thrown over the fence

Compound Objectives:

  • collect the five flowers
  • get thrown over the fence
  • dress up the bust with things from outside the back gardens
  • score a goal
  • perform at the pub wearing a ribbon

First thing's first, we are going to bring the flower into the back garden and drop it immediately, right beside the hole in the fence. Walk over to the cricket bat and drag it over so it is next to the flower, honking a lot while you do so. This should get the man's attention and he will come over to put his bat back. Once he starts walking to you, run to the lower left corner of the back garden and untie the yellow rope on the fence. This will allow you to enter the woman's garden. Quickly run up her steps and stand centered between the bell, windmill, frog and fish. In a few short moments, the man from the other side of the fence, will come throw the flower over the fence. By messing with his cricket bat, we gave us enough time to get over here before he throws the flower. When he throws it, you need to catch it, so simply mash cn_B while it's in midair (catch an object as it's thrown over the fence). If you fail, you can try again with the hat and the glasses. You will need to give these items to him for him to throw them over anyway. Do the same with the soccer ball, so that all four items are in the woman's yard.

Careful

Catch an object as it's thrown over the fence

Careful
6 guidesOffline Game ModeSingle PlayerCooperative

In the middle of her garden, there is a bust with a bowl next to it. Place the flower, hat and glasses into the bowl and the woman will dress up the bust with them (help the woman dress up the bust, dress up the bust with things from outside the back gardens).

Pretty

Dress up the bust with things from outside the back gardens

Pretty
5 guidesOffline Game ModeSingle PlayerCooperative

Walk up to the top right corner of the woman's yard and pull the drawer out of the dresser. This will cause a ramp to form, so you can enter back into the man's yard. Do so. The man should be sat at his chair, either reading or drinking tea. When he is doing one of these things, he will cross his legs, and you can steal the top slipper. When he reads, you can take his left slipper and when he drinks, you can take his right slipper. You'll have to patiently wait around for him to do each. When you take the first one (do the newspaper slipper first), run into the woman's yard, so that the man can't grab it. Once you grab the second one, you will complete the objective, so you can let him have his shoe back (make the man go barefoot).

This task is a bit tricky. You need to steal the woman's socks, bra, soap and one of the man's slippers and place them all in the man's fountain at the bottom of his garden. The best way to do this is to start by stealing the woman's purple vase, located right in front of the yellow-roped gate. Run through and grab it, then quickly run back and give the vase to the man. He will throw it across the fence, breaking it (make someone break the fancy vase). This will cause the two of them to start arguing for a bit, meaning you should have enough time to steal the bra and both socks and run them back through the gate. Don't put them in the fountain yet, just put them on the ground on the man's side, so you have more time to run the three items over. If you can only get two over in time, simply open the gate again, sprint in and grab the third item when the woman isn't looking. Now, grab the man's slipper from the woman's yard and place that, along with the other clothing items, into the fountain. Now, all we need is the soap. The soap is found on the corner of the woman's bathtub in her yard. Go stand over by the bell in her yard, and wait for the man to sip his tea (you may have to wait for him to stop reading). When he takes a sip, hit the bell to make him spit it out (make the man spit out his tea). Quickly grab the soap and run up the ramp into the man's yard, and run behind him to the fountain while he's yelling at the woman. Put it in the fountain and you'll complete the task (do the washing).

While the two of them are arguing, go through the gate to the woman's yard and pull the bow off of the goose statue and drop it on the floor. Drag the goose statue off to the left side of her lawn and hide it behind her stuff. Then, go stand on the rock where the goose statue was and hit cn_B to "take shape". You will simply sit here and wait for the woman to come and put the bow on you (get dressed up with a ribbon). By this point, the man should be annoyed enough with you, that he put up his "no geese" sign. Head back to his side of the yard and pull the rose by the handle, down to the left of the fountain. Pull it as far as you can, then enter the woman's yard and peck at her squirrel-shaped hedge a few times, which is right next to the man's rose. This will cause the woman to come and clip the hedge a few times, accidentally clipping the rose in the process. Quickly run over and grab the rose, bringing it over the woman's side (make someone prune the prize rose).

The Back Gardens

Complete the back gardens to-do list

The Back Gardens
1 guideOffline Game ModeSingle PlayerCooperativeMain Storyline

Now, the woman will open up a hole in her fence, in the upper left corner of her yard. We are going to need to go through here to progress, but before we do so, walk into the man's yard and honk at him. He should see you wearing a bow, take it and throw it over the fence. Now that you've done that, we want to bring the soccer ball with us through the hole in the woman's fence. Kick it up her yard (which can be tricky, since it's inclined) and through the hole. I'd recommend hugging the wall as you push the soccer ball up the hill, as it makes it easier. Immediately after going through, you will see a soccer net in front of you. Score a goal (score a goal).

Nimble

Score a goal

Nimble
6 guidesOffline Game ModeSingle PlayerCooperative

Go through the house and you will automatically come out the other side. Go right and continue until you reach a left turn in the road. Go left to reach the next area, the pub, where you should see a yellow van. To the left of that van is a purple and white box. Grab that box and pull it towards the screen. If you zoom out (cn_RB), you should see a small staircase at the bottom of the screen, with a gate at the bottom. Pull the box down here, open the gate and pull it across the bridge. You will arrive at a well. Continue dragging the box down the right path, turn at the fork in the path and you should eventually come to the entrance to the man's garden again. Drag the box through the hole in the fence, stand next to the long edge of the box and press cn_B to get in it. Start honking a lot to get the man's attention. He will come and find the box, then throw it over the fence (get thrown over the fence).

Intrepid

Get thrown over the fence

Intrepid
6 guidesOffline Game ModeSingle PlayerCooperative

After you've been thrown, hit cn_B to get out of the box. You're going to want to pick up the bow that the man threw over and place it next to the rock where the goose statue is (or was, depending on if the woman found it). Have the woman put the bow on you in the same way as earlier. Grab a flower (either the rose or the white one from the bust) and sprint out into the man's yard, through the hole in his fence and down the path. Turn upwards at the fork in the path, to get back to the well area. Put the flower in the basket. Run back to the woman's yard and grab the other one, then bring that here as well. You should now have two flowers in the basket, and if you follow the path down and to the right, you should reach an alleyway. Follow this alley down and enter the gate into the groundskeeper's garden. Remember that rose we grabbed earlier so we could steal his hat? Take that rose again and run it back to the basket, making sure to go unseen by the groundskeeper. At the well, follow the path up and to the left to get back to the pub area.

This part is a bit tricky. Normally, we would use the box to sneak into the pub (the delivery guy would carry us), but since the box isn't there anymore, we will need to get through by brute force, as the man at the door will try to shoo us away. In order to get by, you need to get close, bend down and quickly untie his shoelaces. After that, back away a tiny bit so that he kneels down to tie his laces. When he does, quickly try to sprint by him. As long as you get by him, he should trip trying to chase you. What you want to do is run past him and to the right, going under the deck through the opening. Once you're under here, follow the tunnel a few feet and the man will lose you, meaning you are through and free to goose around (get into the pub). It may take a few tries, but it's really not too difficult. The only other option would be to drag the box all the way back, get into it and wait for the delivery man to bring you in, which may take a minute or two. The objectives in the pub are as follows...

Main Objectives:

  • get into the pub
  • break the dartboard
  • get the toy boat
  • make the old man fall on his bum
  • be awarded a flower
  • steal a pint glass and drop it in the canal
  • set the table
  • drop a bucket on the burly man's head *

Secret Objectives:

  • sail the toy boat under a bridge
  • steal the old man's woolen hat

Compound Objectives:

  • collect the five flowers
  • get thrown over the fence
  • perform at the pub wearing a ribbon

In general, when you're in the pub, if the burly man sees you, sprint underneath the deck through one of the three openings to lose him. If he catches you, he'll try and shoo you back out the front door, and you may need to break in again. Once you're in the pub, head to the far left side and go down the steps to see a man in a toque. He will either be playing darts, playing harmonica or transitioning between the two. If you wait around him, he will eventually switch between the two, so be patient. If he is playing harmonica, honk at him to make him stand up. He will pick up his harmonica and attempt to sit down again. When he does this, you want to pull the stool out from under him, just before he sits down (make the old man fall on his bum). Quickly grab the toque off of his head before he stands back up and run around for a few seconds with it (steal the old man's woolen hat). If he is playing darts, he will pump fake twice before throwing the dart. Right as he is about to throw it (as he is winding back to throw it), honk at him to make him mess up, which will destroy the dartboard. It may take a few tries to time correctly, but you only need to do it once. Try to honk right as his arm is all the way back, as that tends to work (break the dartboard).

Cheeky

Steal the old man's woolen hat

Cheeky
6 guidesOffline Game ModeSingle PlayerCooperative

Head to the right and you should see two women talking at a table. Stand on the small platform next to them and do the following: Honk (cn_X), bow (cn_LT, flap your wings (cn_RT). This will make them applaud you and throw you a flower (be awarded a flower, perform at the pub wearing a ribbon). You will need this flower for later, so stash it under the deck where no one can get it but you.

Elegant

Perform at the pub wearing a ribbon

Elegant
6 guidesOffline Game ModeSingle PlayerCooperative

Now we are going to need to do some more stealing. Walk up the stairs, into the main dining area. Here, the woman will try and shoo you away, so try and stay out of sight by ducking under tables as much as possible. We need 4 items from up here. We need the pepper shaker, which is located on the second table left of the staircase. We need a fork, which is located under a table, diagonal to the pepper shaker one. We need a knife, which is located on a shelf in the back right of the dining area. Finally, we need a candle, which is located on a table to the right of the shelf. The only staircase we will be using here is the left-most staircase. Do not use the right-most one, as you will get caught by the burly man. As you get each of the items, you are going to carry them down the left stairs, take a left and go under the deck near the back gate of the pub. Go outside into the back alley, where you will see a wooden wheel with a tablecloth over it. Place the four items on this wheel. To the left of the wheel is a small ramp with a broken fridge at the top. In this fridge is a plate. Place this plate on the wheel with the other items to complete the task (set the table).

There are still two items we need to steal from the dining area. We need to steal the toy boat and a pint glass. We'll steal the pint glass first as it is easier. It is located right on the corner of the table nearest to the staircase. You're going to want to make sure you crouch before you drop it, otherwise it will break. Bring the pint glass down and put it in under the deck with the flower. If you break it, go up the stairs and grab a new one. The toy boat is a bit trickier. You will need to turn on the sink and let it fill up enough that the boat can be reached. The sink is in the back left of the dining area. Go over to it, hit the valve and then try and distract the woman by running laps around the tables. Once the sink is overflowing, you can run over and grab the boat. Make sure the woman is always chasing you, otherwise she will turn off the water. Once you actually have the boat, you will need to make a break for it and bring it to your stash under the deck. She may take the boat from you while you are running, so if she does, simply lap around a few more tables to distance yourself, grab the boat and make a run for it.

Now, head under the deck and pick up your pint glass. You want to walk out the left hole and zoom out. Walk a bit closer to the burly man and honk (while holding the glass) to get his attention. Once he starts making his way towards you, duck back under the deck, sprint to the opposite hole near the front entrance of the pub and run out of the pub with the glass. Walk down the steps on the opposite side of the road and stand on the bridge. Drop the pint glass off the side of it and into the canal (steal a pint glass and drop it in the canal). Quickly run back to the pub and you should be able to make it inside without needing to deal with the burly man. He will have seen you holding the glass and will be looking for it, so he shouldn't be near the entrance. If he is, untie his shoes and make a run for it.

Head to the back gate of the pub, where you "set the table". By now, the box of tomatoes should be open (it opens when they get annoyed enough to put up the "no geese" sign). Grab a tomato, bring it into the pub and place it two tiles or so away from the back gate. Now, run over to the burly man and get his attention. Once he is chasing you, sprint towards the opening under the deck by the back gate. Get under there and he will lose you. He should now notice the tomato. When he sees it, he is going to grab it and go put it back in the box. Once he opens the gate, sprint up the stairs and take a left towards the sink. You should see a bucket on the ledge to your left. When the burly man is kneeling down, simply hit the bucket and it will fall onto his head (drop a bucket on the burly man's head).

The Pub

Complete the pub to-do list

The Pub
2 guidesOffline Game ModeSingle PlayerCooperativeMain Storyline

Quickly run out and grab the flower from under the deck. Run out the front entrance, across the street, across the bridge and drop the flower into the basket with the other flowers. Run back to the pub and grab the toy boat. Wait for the coast to be clear, then run it out the back alley of the pub (the burly man may be out there, as he discovered our table and is bringing items back, so be careful). Go up the ramp, and hop across the dumpster to get over the gate (which you can open to make things easier later). Carry the boat down the steps and into the water. Place it in the water and push it left, under the bridge to get an achievement (sail the toy boat under a bridge).

Lovely

Sail the toy boat under a bridge

Lovely
6 guidesOffline Game ModeSingle PlayerCooperative

You will now be in the model village (get into the model village).

Main Objectives:

  • get into the model village
  • steal the beautiful miniature golden bell
  • ...and take it all the way back home *

Compound Objectives:

  • collect the five flowers

The first thing you'll see upon entering the model village is a big yellow flower to your right. Grab it and immediately backtrack out of the model village, to the pub. Carry this flower out of the pub, by first distracting the burly man to get him away from the entrance, sneaking under the deck and sprinting out the front. Run this flower back to your basket (collect the five flowers).

Beautiful

Collect the five flowers

Beautiful
5 guidesOffline Game ModeSingle PlayerCooperative

Now we have to run back into the pub, meaning we will have to get by the burly man. Simply untie his shoes as per usual and sprint out the back of the pub, back to the model village. Run through the linear path of the model village (ducking under archways as you go), until you reach a "large" clock tower. Start rapidly pecking the bottom of the tower to destroy it. After this, grab the little gold block at the bottom of the tower and begin pulling on it, until the tower collapses, allowing you to grab the bell (steal the beautiful miniature golden bell). Now it's time to head home. We are going to have to carry this bell all the way back through the four areas, alerting everyone as we pass, because we're so loud. This part can be somewhat annoying, but if the NPCs ever take your bell, simply rip it away from them and continue forward. The hardest part is the pub, but simply using the standard method of alerting the burly man and then ducking under the deck should work. Once you're out of the pub, take the top-right path at the well and sprint throw the back gardens, by going up the back ramp and running out the gate at the bottom of the man's garden. You will have to pull the drawer out again, so let the woman hold the bell while you do that. She will put it in the bust's bowl, which you can then retrieve it from. After exiting the man's garden, continue down the path into the second area, where you will simply sprint down the street, past the shopkeepers and the kid. They'll catch you a few times but just keep prying the bell away from them. Run through the groundskeeper's garden, out the front gate and into the pond to safety. Go straight across the pond, down the path we originally came from (has three yellow flowers at the entrance, for reference). Run over the knocked-down gate, past the pike, under the tree and back home. Walk to the bottom of the screen and drop the bell into the pit to finish the game (...and take it all the way back home).

Hold cn_start to roll through the credits faster. It's speedrun time. When prompted, press cn_X to honk, giving you control of your goose. You will now have to reset (press cn_start then "Reset"). The objective now is to complete all of the main objectives at the garden, before the church bells rings, which is 7 minutes after every reset. As remind, the main tasks for the garden are:

  • get into the garden
  • get the groundskeeper wet
  • steal the groundskeeper's keys
  • make the groundskeeper wear his sun hat
  • rake in the lake
  • have a picnic (bring to the picnic blanket: sandwich, apple, pumpkin, carrot, jam, thermos, radio, basket)
  • make the groundskeeper hammer his thumb

This first area is actually really easy for the speedrun. 7 minutes is a lot of time, don't feel like you have to take crazy risks to get the par time. Be patient and only steal the items when it is safe to do so. Because you've already done all these tasks before, I'll write out a more simplified walkthrough:

  • Activate the hose
  • Steal his keys and run into the pond
  • Give him back his keys
  • Bring the sandwiches, apple and basket over to the blanket
  • Steal the rose and bring it to him
  • Grab his hat as he is kneeling down
  • Run it into the pond
  • Drag the rake down the right side of the garden while he is outside
  • Wait until he passes, then drag it out and into the water
  • Bring the carrot to the blanket
  • Bring the pumpkin to the blanket
  • Bring the thermos to the blanket
  • Bring the jam to the blanket
  • Bring the radio to the blanket
  • Rip up the "no geese" sign
  • Honk at him as he is hammering to make him hit his thumb

If you hear the church bells at any point, simply reset and give it all another go. This is the easiest of the four.

The Garden, Quickly

Complete the garden to-do list before the church bells ring

The Garden, Quickly
3 guidesOffline Game ModeSingle PlayerCooperativeTime/Date

Head to the high street and reset yet again. You will have 7 minutes to do the following tasks:

  • break the broom
  • trap the boy in the phone booth
  • make the boy wear the wrong glasses
  • make someone buy back their own stuff
  • get on t.v.
  • go shopping (put in the basket: toothbrush, loo paper, hairbrush, tinned food, cleaner, fruit & veg)
  • trap the shopkeeper in the garage

This time around, we won't be selling the groundskeeper's trowel back to him. Instead, we will be selling the kid's toy plane back to him. Grab his plane off the bench and place it next to the other toys in the store, then chase him into the store to make him find/buy it. Everything else, we will be doing the same:

  • Steal glasses from the store
  • Chase the boy into the phone booth
  • Wait outside the TV store and rush in when it opens
  • Hit the switch and get on TV
  • Untie the kids shoelaces when he gets out of the phone booth
  • Trip him and steal his glasses
  • Give him the other glasses
  • Place the toy plane in the shop
  • Scare the boy towards the shop to make him buy it
  • Steal the hairbrush and bring it over to the garbage can to the right (behind the hedge)
  • Steal a piece of asparagus and bring it here too
  • Steal the toilet paper and bring it here
  • Steal the canned foot and bring it here
  • Steal the cleaner and bring it here
  • Drag the basket over
  • Place all items in it, as well as the toothbrush from inside the garbage can
  • Lure the shopkeeper into the garage with a piece of fruit/veg
  • Close the door

This one isn't too bad. Mostly luck based in hoping the woman doesn't catch you too many times, but you should be okay with getting caught a few times, provided she doesn't actually find your stash of items.

The High Street, Quickly

Complete the high street to-do list before the church bells ring

The High Street, Quickly
3 guidesOffline Game ModeSingle PlayerCooperativeTime/Date

Head to the third area, for what I found to be the hardest speedrun. Here, you will need to do the following:

  • make someone break the fancy vase
  • help the woman dress up the bust
  • make the man spit out his tea
  • get dressed up with a ribbon
  • make the man go barefoot
  • do the washing (with: a bra, a pair of socks, a slipper, a bar of soap)
  • make someone prune the prize rose

Like the last area, we will have to do something slightly different here. We will be dressing the bust with items from this area, specifically, the pipe, hat and glasses from the table next to the man. To get these items, wait for him to be reading his newspaper, then grab one and sprint to the yellow-roped gate. Once you're through, drop the item and it will stay there. Once all three items are through, drop them in the bowl by the bust.

  • Steal the pipe and take it to the woman's yard
  • Steal the hat and take it to the woman's yard
  • Steal the glasses and take them to the woman's yard
  • Place all items in the bust's bowl
  • Pull the drawer out
  • As she is decorating the bust, bring the bra and socks to the man's fountain
  • Steal the man's newspaper slipper and bring it out the hole in the man's fence
  • Steal the soap from the woman and run it past the man when he is reading
  • Steal his tea slipper and quickly put it in the fountain
  • Pull the rose all the way down
  • Rustle the leaves of the squirrel hedge
  • Bring the purple vase to the man's yard and give it to him
  • While they're arguing, hide the goose statue
  • Sit on the rock and honk to get the woman's attention
  • Let her put the bow on you
  • Camp by the bell until the man sips his tea
  • Hit the bell

I had some bad luck with this one, as I would often get caught in the woman's yard because she would close the gate on me too quick, or the man would find the clothes in his fountain and throw them back over. You really just have to get lucky here, but it should hopefully not take more than a couple of tries.

The Back Gardens, Quickly

Complete the back gardens to-do list before the church bells ring

The Back Gardens, Quickly
4 guidesOffline Game ModeSingle PlayerCooperativeTime/Date

Head over to the pub. This speedrun isn't too bad, and unlike the last two area, we don't really do anything different here, except we enter the pub using the box, which is easier. Make sure to reset when you get here. You'll need to do the following:

  • get into the pub
  • break the dartboard
  • get the toy boat
  • make the old man fall on his bum
  • be awarded a flower
  • steal a pint glass and drop it in the canal
  • set the table
  • drop a bucket on the burly man's head

To enter the pub in the box, simply sprint around the truck, stand next to the box and hit cn_B. A couple seconds later, the delivery man should show up and carry you in. Once the burly man is out of frame for about a second, hit cn_B again to jump out of the box and you should be safely in the pub.

  • Enter the pub by way of box
  • Run to the dartboard
  • Disrupt his dart throw by honking (he's usually throwing darts, but if he isn't, reset)
  • Run to the women and do your performance (cn_X, cn_LT, cn_RT)
  • Make sure you wait until they throw the flower
  • Run to the old man and make him fall by pulling the stool from under him
  • Steal the pepper shaker and place it on the "table"
  • Place the plate from the broken fridge on the "table"
  • Place a tomato in front of the back gate (on the inside)
  • Steal the fork and place it on the "table"
  • Steal the knife and place it on the "table"
  • Steal the candle and place it on the "table"
  • Activate the sink and distract the woman until it is full
  • Grab the boat and run around with it for a second
  • Bring a pint glass under the deck (drop it while crouched)
  • Get the burly man's attention
  • Hide under the deck by the back gate
  • Run up the stairs and push the bucket on his head when he takes the tomato back
  • Grab the pint glass and sprint out to the bridge
  • Drop it in the canal

One of the easier speedruns, as it the most consistent in my opinion. Upon completion, you will have finished your final task on your to-do list.

The Pub, Quickly

Complete the pub to-do list before the church bells ring

The Pub, Quickly
5 guidesOffline Game ModeSingle PlayerCooperativeTime/Date

A Secret Prize

Cross out everything on the to-do list

A Secret Prize
1 guideOffline Game ModeSingle PlayerCooperative

With that, you should have your 1000G. Hope the walkthrough was helpful and I hope you enjoyed the game. Congrats!

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